A mystery is solved…
I Wonder How She Did That
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Monthly Archives: May 2011
The End
My Do-Overs
I have been feeling rather inspired by the do-over concept I mentioned in a previous post – If I Could Do Things Differently. It has made me look at my past in a much more positive way. I realize that I have a whole bunch of do-over stories I can share. After reigning in my enthusiasm just a little bit, I figured out that some of my stories would best be shared in a more private environment, however, that still leaves me with quite a few that I feel comfortable talking about here.
I have decided that every once a while I’m going to share a do-over story. In case you didn’t go look at If I Could Do Things Differently, let me remind you of how I am using/defining the word do-over:
Do-Overs are experiences to which I MIGHT have reacted or acted differently if there had been a mentor present in my life at the time. They are not an expression of any type of longing or desire to change the decisions, and choices I made in my past. They are something I am sharing for the benefit of others, who might find themselves in a similar situation.
Please feel free to share any of your do-over stories with me, either here on my blog or on your own blog. I would be happy to provide a link back.
Power Of Positive Words – Z
Before I began depression treatment the words I used out loud, and in my mind were peppered with negativity. At that time, I did not realize the power that words could have on a person’s mood, attitude, and outlook on life. Depression treatment has taught me to be mindful of the words I use. Creating this list of positive words for each letter of the alphabet has been a terrific way for me to build up a positive word bank. My life is very different now. I see a future laid out before me that will be filled with what much joy. I know there will be sorrows, however, I think the joy will outweigh those.
Zoom – this word makes me feel positively happy because there are parts of my life that I’m okay with zooming in on – meaning taking a closer look at. There was a time in my life when I did not want to look at any part of my life closely. While there are still parts of my life that are too painful, and uncomfortable for me to zoom in on yet, at least I can say that there are parts that I can. I’m sure given enough time, and patience I will be able to take a closer look at other aspects of myself, and my life.
Power Of Positive Words – Y
Before I began depression treatment the words I used out loud, and in my mind were peppered with negativity. At that time, I did not realize the power that words could have on a person’s mood, attitude, and outlook on life. Depression treatment has taught me to be mindful of the words I use. Creating this list of positive words for each letter of the alphabet has been a terrific way for me to build up a positive word bank. My life is very different now. I see a future laid out before me that will be filled with what much joy. I know there will be sorrows, however, I think the joy will outweigh those.
Yearn – This word makes me feel positively positive because I actually yearn for/want wonderful things in my life. For long time, I was happy with the status quo. Never really wanting much, and not really yearning for any life changes. However, that is changed. Even though I am now in my 40s there are many things I yearn for out of life. One of those things, is to eventually have a career that – for the most part – I enjoy, instead of the job I do.
If I Could Do Things Differently….
I think at one time or another most – if not all – of us have uttered the words “If I could do things differently…”. I think it’s natural for us to look back on parts of our lives and wonder what our lives would have been like if we had made different choices. However, from my own experience, I can tell you that it is very possible to take the “what if” game way too far.
I’m not sure which came first, the depression, or beating myself up with “what if’s”. I guess in the grand scheme of things it does not really matter. What does matter is what I did with the “what if’s”. During the worst part of my depression, my version of the “what if” game became a very cruel tool that I could use to beat myself up with. It was something like a crowbar on steroids. It caused me a great deal of mental and physical pain. As I started to become mentally healthier, I quit engaging in the “what if” game, viewing it as nothing more than a source of unrelenting pain.
After I began blogging, I would often search the Internet for writing prompts. One of the most popular ones I saw was something along the lines of “Pick a time in your life when you would like to do things differently – Describe what you would do differently if given the chance and why.” I have always avoided those types of writing prompts. My memories of what I used to do to myself with my own version of this is still so fresh in my mind that I just did not want to walk down that road, or even take a chance of falling back into that old habit. I was very firm in my decision, and I honestly expected it to be this way for the rest of my life. Then I read something in Inspiration for Girlfriends, – written by Ellen Miller – that changed my viewpoint about this.
She calls this section of the devotional Getting a Do-Over. The first time I looked at the title I thought “Yeah, I’m going to skip this part”, and I did. I didn’t even bother to skim through that section until I had almost finished the devotional and was running out of things to read in it. When I finally began to read it, I was very surprised to see that the author did not start the section off with how healing it is to think about past events and vent away about them, or think about the past and try to figure out whose fault it was that we made a poor decision. Instead, she starts off the section with how much we need mentors in our life.
Regardless of our age, how successful or unsuccessful we are, whether were single or married, we all need successful men or women who have walked ahead of us. Basically, they have “been there and done that” stories, and are willing to share their insights. The author calls these stories Do-Overs, and explains them like this:
…do-overs are experiences to which, had they had a mentor, they might have acted or react differently – even though they wouldn’t change their lives today.
I found the concept of this amazing. It is a way for me to take negative parts of my past – including the way a used to beat myself up with them – and turn them into something that might benefit someone else.
The truth is we all make our own mistakes, and I daresay that very seldom do we choose wisely. However, I think the wisdom, insight, and the benefit of another person’s experience will at least give us something to think about before we commit ourselves to course of action.
There is healing that comes with NOT rewriting our past, but sharing it as a way for someone to make better decisions about their future
Thankful Five
I used to do my Thankful Five on a more regular basis, but lately it seems like I’ve let a lot of things get in the way of it. I was really reminded after a bad few days how important it was for me to keep track of things that I’m thankful for. So I decided that it was in my best interest if I got back into the habit of blogging about five things I’m thankful for.
- I am thankful for air-conditioning. I dislike the heat. I dislike humidity. When they are combined together I extremely dislike them.
- I am thankful that my financial aid for school worked out as well as it did.
- I am thankful for cool summer breeze after a hot summer day.
- I am thankful for silence.
- I am thankful for love.
Third Week Of College
This week I started my third week of college. It has been a challenging experience so far. I have also encountered a few things that have taken me by surprise. However, I think given how long it has been since I have been in any academic environment, I am doing okay.
Learning online has been more difficult different. It certainly does require me to be more self-motivated than I naturally tend to be. Keeping to a schedule – due dates – other than my own has caused me some frustration. I find myself getting bogged down in the details – wanting things to be perfect – which is slowing me down some.
One of the things that makes Argosy different from my experience with brick and mortar colleges is how they arrange their class schedule. They do follow a semester schedule, and each semester is 15 weeks long. However, they break each 15 week semester into two 7.5 week sessions. You are considered a full-time student if you take two classes per each session. Basically that means you would end up with a total of four classes per semester. Each 7.5 week class gives you the same amount of information, and work as a full semester class would, which means you have to assimilate a whole semester’s worth of information in about half the time. Obviously, this is why my school workload is a little heavier than most, even though I am currently only taking one class. This also means, that potentially you could earn your four year degree in less than four years.
Currently, I am on what they call a three-quarter schedule. What that means is for this session of the semester I am only taking one class, however, when the second session of the semester starts I will be taking two classes. For the following semester, I could keep the same three-quarter schedule or change it to a full-time schedule. As of now, I have not made a decision on whether or not I am going to go full time next semester. I am going to hold off on doing that until after the second session starts and I see how I do with taking two classes in a short amount of time.
The class I am taking for this session is called Skills for Success. I can see why this is a required class for every new student in the school. First of all, it gives you a real good idea of what it is like to have to learn a subject in half the normal time. The other thing it does, is emphasize how important it is to keep some sort of schedule. With the fast pace of the courses it is vital for students to be aware of all their due dates. This class also prepares the students for college-level writing. The ultimate goal final project of this class is to take everything you have learned through the class assignments and create a learning plan for yourself.
One of the things I had to do in the first week of this class was take some diagnostic tests that were meant to assess my grammar skills. Since I spend a lot of time writing I assumed the diagnostic tests would present no problem for me. I was extremely surprised at my results:
- Sentence Grammar 67%
- Punctuation and Mechanics 83%
- Usage and Style 87%
- Basic Grammar 92%
I was very humbled. I consider that a good thing. I think if I had kept on with my attitude of “I know it already” I would have missed out on some great learning experiences, and most likely set myself up for failure – since I would not be as open to learning as I should have been.
Fortunately, the school does not just leave you with those results with no opportunity to learn what you need to in order to improve them. In addition to the coursework that is required, there is a whole bunch of videos and grammar exercises that I am required to do to bring my grammar scores up to par.
I think one of the things that has impressed me the most about the college I have chosen to go to is their desire to see their students succeed. They do not just throw you in the deep end, hoping that you will figure out how to swim. They give you plenty of opportunities, and help to ensure that your college career is as successful as you would like to make it.
How Could Things Go So Wrong?
Yesterday started off very busy. A young man came over, and did some heaving lifting chores that mom and I needed help with. He brought his three year old daughter with him. The little girl was fun to be around, but she is a very curious, and active little thing. I spent a great deal of the day asking her to put breakables back where she got the, and telling her the elderly dog did not want to play. I was left alone with her for about an hour or so while her daddy ran a pick up load of trash to the local dump – while he was out, he picked up his wife from work.
By the time the young man and his family left, I was frazzled. Keeping the 3 year from breaking any of my mother’s knick knacks, keeping her from taking everything out of the refrigerator, and keeping her from bugging the old dog were full time activities. During all of this, I did my best to keep up with the dogs. I left mine in the kennel for most of the day, leaving me only two to keep up with. I knew where the oldest dog was most of the day. She was usually under my feet, in a dog bed, or outside. I even brought her in from the outside more than once.
As hard as I tried to keep up with the old dog, I failed miserably. Most likely after everyone had left, I lost track of her. I was too busy trying to collect myself to pay attention. The dog wandered out into the back yard, and I did not realize it. It was not until after Mom got home that I realized she was missing. I looked for her, thinking she was wandering around the backyard like she does. She was in the backyard, unfortunately she had passed away. I know if I had not been so busy paying attention to myself, I would have realized sooner she had wandered outside, and been able to bring her in before that happened.
Mom is horribly upset, her dog had been with her for 17 years. The timing sucks – happening so soon after dad died. I believe all of this could have been avoided if I had been paying more attention.
I am not sure where to go from here.
Letter To Dr. Rosenfeld of Fox News
I usually listen to Fox News on Sunday mornings. I say listen, because at the same time it is on my TV I am usually doing some thing else at the same time. On Sunday mornings, they have a feature called House Call. The basic idea of this feature is people write in with their questions, and Dr. Isadore Rosenfeld, M.D. takes the time to answer a few of them while he is on the Air.
Today, he responded to a question about the effectiveness of Quinine in the treatment of Rest Leg Syndrome (RLS). After he gave his opinion about the use of this medication, he went on and gave – what I considered to be – a soft pedaled description about RLS, and some ideas for what people could do to manage their symptoms.
What he said irked me. It was another expert playing down how much RLS symptoms can affect a person’s quality of life. It also just continued to add more to people’s – including doctors – misunderstanding.
I decided to write him a letter.
Subject: Restless Leg Syndrome
Dear Dr. Rosenfeld,
Today I listened to your response to someone’s question about Restless Leg Syndrome, and the effectiveness of Quinine. After you addressed that question, you went on to speak about some suggestions of possible causes of restless leg syndrome and gave some ideas on how to alleviate the symptoms. While I am sure some or all of your suggestions work for some people, there is a significant portion of people with RLS whose symptoms are not alleviated by any of those things, and often not even with the current available medications.
In my family, my great-grandmother, and grandfather had RLS symptoms when they were alive. Currently, my mother, brother, and myself all have moderate to severe symptoms. My mother and I see the same doctor regarding our RLS – treating RLS is one of his specialties. He often says my mother’s RLS symptoms are the worst he has ever seen. For my age – as compared to the rest of the RLS patient population – my symptoms are fairly severe. My mother and I live in a constant state of sleep deprivation, and it has a huge, negative impact on our quality of life. There are many message boards on the internet where people discuss the impact that RLS has had on their life, and how horrible their existence is. Some of us with RLS can never escape from our symptoms.
The general public has a great deal of misunderstanding about how bad RLS can get. It is frustrating when I hear people talk about it as if it were not a big deal. I believe part of that misunderstanding comes from soft pedaled descriptions of RLS – like the one you offered today. When I hear experts talk about RLS, I really wish they would take a moment or two to inform the public about the “dark side” of RLS. It would be a great benefit. Not only would it help do away with the current misunderstanding about RLS, thereby creating a more accepting – believing – society, it might actually make it easier when we have to go to doctors who are not familiar with RLS. There is nothing like that feeling I get when people think I am not telling the truth about my RLS symptoms – including most doctors. It is an awful experience to have to explain repeatedly that you cannot take certain medications like Benadryl, Phenergan, Reglan, and many psychiatric medications because they exacerbate your symptoms and have them not believe you.
I really hope that consider what I have written, and take the time to investigate some of the RLS message boards out there. Here is a website that might help point you in the right direction if would like to learn more. We Move
I am not affiliated with the website, or organization in anyway. It just happens to be one of the best ones out there for offering factual and easy to read information about RLS – in my opinion.
Thank you,
Melissa Shell