My Thursday Thirteen for this week is thirteen weird but edible recipes.
1. Chicken Noodle Pistachio Pound Cake
Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
Note: Must use a mixer or an electric drill with a wide blade attachment.
5 cups of Bisquick
1 box of Jello Instant Pistachio Pudding
1 tsp cinnamon
1 can of Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup
1/2 Cup of Brown Sugar
1 package of thawed Green Giant frozen spinach
1 package of yeast
Icing: Strain the broth from the chicken noodle soup into a container and
mix in the Jello Instant Pistachio Pudding. Stir until creamy. Chill for
45 minutes.
Pound Cake: Combine the spinach, yeast, brown sugar, and Bisquick with the
mixer set on “Low” in a large bowl. Gently spoon the noodles and chicken
into the batter. Be careful not to break the noodles! Pour the mixture
into a bread pan and sprinkle cinnamon on top. Cover the pan with a damp
towel and let the batter rise approximately 20 minutes. Place the pan into
the preheated oven and bake until golden brownish-green.
Pour the icing over the cake as it cools. Serve with small cups of tomato
juice. Enough for 2 large men or 14 petite women.
2. Chocolate Gravy and Biscuits (my husband grew up eating his mom’s chocolate gravy and biscuits)
Biscuits: 1 or 2 cans of “whop” biscuits (these are the ones that come in the little tube at the store and you have to “whop” them on the counter to open the tube.) Bake as directed.
Chocolate Gravy
3 tablespoons of flour
2 tablespoons of cocoa powder
4 tablespoons of granulated sugar
2 cups of milk
2 tablespoons of butter
1 teasoon of vanilla
Mix dry ingredients in shallow pan on stovetop until they’re completely combined. Add milk and stir. Cook on medium to medium high heat until it bubbles and thickens. Add butter and vanilla. Stir. Chunk up biscuits and pour chocolate gravy over the top. Enjoy!
3. Irish Meadows
Two slices of dense, crusty plain bread. Butter them. Cover one slice with thinly sliced Mars Bar (slightly warmed is better). Add chopped chunks of sweet & tart green apple. Cover with second slice of bread.
4. Cricket Cookies
Ingredients:
2 1/4 cup flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
2 eggs
1 12-ounce chocolate chips
1 cup chopped nuts
1/2 cup dry-roasted crickets
Directions:
Preheat oven to 375. In small bowl, combine flour, baking soda and salt; set aside. In large bowl, combine butter, sugar, brown sugar and vanilla; beat until creamy. Beat in eggs. Gradually add flour mixture and insects, mix well. Stir in chocolate chips. Drop by rounded measuring teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheet. Bake for 8-10 minutes.
5. Fried Hornworms
Ingredients:
3 tablespoons olive oil
16 tomato hornworms
4 medium green tomatoes, sliced into 1/4-inch rounds
Salt and pepper to taste
White cornmeal
Directions:
In a large skillet or wok, heat the oil. Then lightly fry the hornworms, about 4 minutes, taking care not to rupture the cuticles of each insect under high heat. Remove with a slotted spoon and set aside. Season tomato rounds with salt and pepper, then coat with cornmeal on both sides. In a large skillet, fry tomatoes until lightly browned on both sides. Top each round with 2 fried tomato hornworms. Garnish the paired hornworms with a single basil leaf.
6. Grasshopper Gumbo
Ingredients (6 servings):
1/2 cup lemon juice
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 teaspoon honey
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated ginger 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
2 tablespoon minced fresh herbs — parsley, mint, thyme and/or tarragon.
12 frozen grasshoppers, katydids, locusts, or other suitably sized Orthoptera, thawed
1 red pepper, cut into 1 1/2-inch chunks
1 small yellow onion, cut into 8 wedges
Directions: Mix all ingredients for the marinade in a nonreactive baking dish. Add the Orthoptera, cover, and marinate overnight. When ready to cook, remove the insects from the marinade. Pat them dry, for ease of handling. Assemble each kabob, alternately skewering the insects, tomatoes, and onion wedges to create a visually interesting lineup. Cook the kabobs two or three inches above the fire, turning them every two or three minutes and basting them with additional olive oil as required. The exact cooking time will vary, depending on the kind of grill and types of insects used; however, the kabobs should cook for no longer than 8 or 9 minutes.
7. Spam Shake
1 can of Spam
1 tin of anchovies
2 12oz cans of beer
4 oz tomato juice
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1/2 cup chopped up parsley
1/4 cup chopped scallions
dash of Tabasco
salt (if you’d need it), pepper to taste
put it in blender and blend until smooth
serve chilled with celery stick
8. Dishwasher Lasagna
Ingredients:
* ½ jar of your favourite pasta sauce
* 3 fresh lasagna pasta sheets (or ‘oven-ready’ lasagna sheets)
* ½ 16.8 oz container of Ricotta cheese
* ½ package of mixed grated cheese
* 1 cup freshly chopped spinach
* Spices
* Extra thick aluminum foil
Cut three large pieces of aluminum foil and lie them flat. Begin to layer lasagna ingredients starting with a lasagna noodle, then a thick layer of pasta sauce, followed by thick layer of the ricotta cheese and chopped spinach. Top it with the grated cheese and spices to taste. Repeat layers and top with final lasagna sheet. I liked the idea of cutting the final lasagna sheet into strips and creating a criss cross pattern on top. Wrap the lasagna tightly and carefully with all three sheets of aluminum foil. Place on bottom rack in your dishwasher and select the regular cycle. I used the ‘heated dry’ and ‘sanitize’ options as suggested to get the most heat I could. Once the cycle is complete, pull the lasagna out and enjoy!
9. GROUND PORK PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES
1/2 lb Ground pork
1 c Lard
1 c Sugar
1 c Brown sugar
2 Eggs — well beaten
3 c Flour
2 ts Soda
1/2 ts Cinnamon
1/2 c Peanut butter
1/2 c Nuts
1/2 c Orange rind — shredded
Brown then drain ground pork; drain. Cream lard, white sugar, brown sugar and eggs. Add flour, soda, cinnamon. Blend in peanut butter, orange rind, and nuts. Stir in ground pork. Shape into small balls on greased cookie sheet. Press down with fork dipped in sugar. Bake at 350 for 10 min. Refrigerate. Yields 5 dozen.
10. Crocodile Schnitzels
250 gm Crocodile Fillets sliced thinly
1/2 cup Minced Walnuts
1 cup Breadcrumbs
1 cup Flour
1 cup Milk
1 Egg
Dust with flour. Dip in egg wash (one egg beaten with 1 cup milk). Blend walnuts and breadcrumbs and coat crocodile with this mixture. Fry in preheated mixture of oil and butter. Serve with Tropical Fruit Sauce.
TROPICAL FRUlT SAUCE
1 large Mango diced
1 Pawpaw — diced
3 tbsps Brown Sugar
3 tbsps Butter
3 tbsps chopped Walnuts
15 ml Rum, Brandy or Whiskey (optional)
1 cup Water
Melt butter in pan and saute walnuts. Add sugar and stir for 2 minutes. Add mango and pawpaw and mash. Add water and stir occasionally until mixture boils. Stir in spirits, reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes.
11. Asparagus Cake
3 cups flour
2 cups sugar
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
2 tsp vanilla
3 eggs
1 small crushed pineapple, with juice
2 Tbsp grated orange zest
1 1/2 cups chopped nuts
2 cups grated asparagus (fresh or frozen)
Powdered sugar icing with orange zest
Sift dry ingredients together and add remaining ingredients.Mix all together well. Bake in a greased and floured tube pan at 350 degrees for 1 hour. This makes a large moist cake. Use regular powdered sugar icing with orange juice and zest.
12. Opossum and Sweet Potatoes
1 opossum, about 2 1/2 lb., skinned and cleaned
Salt
Freshly ground pepper
Flour
1/2 C water
4 medium-sized sweet potatoes
2 T. sugar
Preheat oven to 350 F. Wipe opossum with a damp cloth and trim and discard excess fat. Mix salt with pepper and rub thoroughly into opossum, inside and out. Sprinkle inside and out with flour. Put opossum on its back in a roasting pan with a tight-fitting lid. Pour in water, cover, and roast in oven for about 50 minutes. Cut sweet potatoes in half lengthwise and surround opossum [note: I am laughing hysterically as I type this] with them. If water has evaporated, add enough to cover bottom of pan. Cover and return to oven for about 25 minutes more. Remove cover and sprinkle sweet potatoes with about 1/4 teaspoon salt and the sugar. Continue roasting until meat and potatoes become crisp on the surface. Makes 3 to 4 servings.
13. French Fried Skunk
2 Skunks, skinned and cleaned
1 T Salt
Water to cover
2 c Bear fat or lard
2 Egg yolks, beaten
3 c Milk or cream
1 1/2 c Flour
1/2 ts Salt
2 tb Baking powder
Clean and wash the skunks, making sure that the scent glands are removed. Cut up into small serving pieces. Put a soup kettle on the stove and add the meat. Cover with cold water and bring to a boil over high heat. Lower the heat and boil until the meat is tender, about 40 minues. Remove all the scum that rises to the surface. Make a batter by mixing together the egg yolks, milk, flour, salt and baking ppowder. Mix real good [I didn’t write this, folks] until the batter is about like cake batter. Heat the bear fat or lard in a deep fryer to about 360 degrees. Dip the pieces of skunk in the batter and then fry them in the deep fryer until golden brown. Drain well and serve.
My Friday Frustration Whine for this week is how I have been feeling. I have spent most of this week sleeping, or thinking about sleeping, or preparing to go to sleep. I also have a slight wheeze.
