Random Morning Thoughts – May 12, 2010

I will try and catch up on my commenting today.  I have been so busy researching information for my Mental Health Awareness posts that I keep running out of time to comment on the blogs I follow.  I appreciate everyone’s patience.

As much work as it has been to do those posts every day, I have enjoyed it a great deal.  Not only have I learned a lot, I have met some other fabulous bloggers.

Yesterday I found out, from my mom,  that my dad has an aneurysm in his back.  The good news is that it is not life threatening at this time.  His doctor is going to keep an eye on it though.  My dad called after I spoke to my mother.  I was rather disturbed and upset by what he said.

In his conversation with me, he told me about an uncle of his that had a similar aneurysm and that when it “blew” his uncle was dead within 30 minutes.   Then my father proceeds to tell me that he is not worried about his aneurysm because he has lived a full life and seen and done things that most people have not.  He also says that when he goes he will leave behind a very rich wife.  I am sure he thinks he is being funny or at least amusing when he says those things, but I do not find what he said the least bit amusing.  To me it almost feels as if he has given up already.  Not to mention, my dad is not the best at taking care of himself, so in way it makes me think that he is justifying his lack of care for himself.

May 17th is the “anniversary”  of my last, and almost successful, suicide attempt.  I am feeling anxious about that upcoming date.  I have an appointment with my counselor on that day.  I will discuss with her why I feel so anxious about it.

Well, I guess that is all my random thoughts this morning.

The Quote of the Day Meme

I love quotes. Quotes of any kind, I just love ‘em. I love to see what quotes inspire people on any given day. So I decided to start a meme that was all about quotes.

It is a very simple meme. Every Tuesday, all you have to do is to make a post with the quote you have picked for that day. If you want, you could even say why you picked that quote. After you create your post with the quote you have chosen, come back here and add your link.

The quotes can come from the internet, books, poems, magazines, your own brain, your grandma, it does not matter.

There is a button for you to grab in my side bar. You can grab the code and use it to link back to my site.

I hope you all participate!

There is no better time than now. The time to live is now. The time to dream is now. The time to imagine and forget the past is now. The time to shine is now. The time to bleed, sweat, and determine yourself for the things you want most is now.~anonymous

Simple Woman's Daybook – May 11, 2010

FOR TODAY May 11, 2010

Outside my window…it is a cloudy, rainy, windy day

I am thinking…that I have learned a lot in researching information for my posts that have to do with Mental Health Awareness.

I am thankful for…family support and friend support and even strangers who have been supportive.

From the kitchen…there is the smell of coffee.

I am wearing…my pajamas as usual.  I slept later than I usually do this morning.

I am creating…or at least trying to create more topic ideas for Mental Health Awareness month.
I am going…to try and get extra work done today.  I always say that and it never really happens.  I fall asleep or other things take up my time.

I am reading…information on Mental Health Awareness and a book my daughter checked out at the library.

I am hoping…that today is a good day.  I am very sleepy though.

I am hearing…the wind blowing really hard.

Around the house…it is very quiet, except for the sound of the wind.

One of my favorite things…is cooking.  I really enjoy cooking.

A few plans for the rest of the week: I plan on keeping up with a new mental health topic a day.  It is important to me.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing…

Stigma and Mental Illness – Mental Health Awareness

I knew I was experiencing depression. I knew I needed help. I knew I was in serious trouble. However, in spite of knowing those things, I chose not to ask anyone for help. I was too embarrassed, and ashamed.  I thought people would see me as a weak person, and not want to have anything to do with me.  Even when I woke up in the hospital after my suicide attempt, my biggest concern was not that I was alive, or how close to death I had come, it was embarrassment at the fact that people would now know my secret.

Stigma and Mental Illness

Society feels uncomfortable about mental illness.  It is not seen like other illnesses such as heart disease, and diabetes.  Because of  inaccurate information and misunderstanding, people have been led to believe that people with a mental illness are weak, or dangerous.

Due to stigma, the typical reaction someone with a mental illness encounters is fear and rejection.  As a result, many people with this disease lose self-esteem and have difficulty making friends.  The stigma attached to mental illness is so much a part of our thinking that people who suspect they are mentally ill, will not seek help out of fear of what others will think.

Here are some common myths that may be used to justify negative feelings about people with a mental illness.

  • Myth: Mental illness is fairly rare and does not affect average people.
  • Fact: Mental illness is quite common.  According to the American Psychiatric Association, one in five Americans suffer from a mental disorder in any given year.  Mental illness can strike people of any age, race, religion, or income status.
  • Myth: People with mental illnesses are dangerous.
  • Fact: This powerful myth has been fed by the media. In fact, the vast majority of people with mental illnesses are not dangerous. They are much more likely to be the victims of violence and crime than the perpetrators.
  • Myth: Mental illness is more like a weakness than a real illness.
  • Fact: Mental illnesses are as real as other diseases like diabetes or cancer. Some mental illnesses are inherited, just as some physical illnesses are. They are not the result of a weak will or a character flaw.
  • Myth: People with mental illnesses can never be normal.
  • Fact: Science has made great strides in the treatment of mental illness in recent decades. With proper treatment, many people with mental illnesses live normal, productive lives.

There are things we can do to reduce the stigma and make things easier for the millions of people who live with a mental illness.

1. Educate yourself about mental illness. Having the facts can help you challenge the misinformation that leads to stigma.

2. Be aware of words. Don’t reduce people to a diagnosis. Instead of “a schizophrenic,” say “a person with schizophrenia.” Correct people who use hurtful language to describe people with mental illness, such as “psycho” or “crazy.”

I have a confession…I often refer to myself as “crazy” and that “I have the papers to prove it”.  I never realized that this might be adding to the stigma that already exists, my only thought was that it made my daughter laugh.

3. Challenge media stereotypes. Write letters to any newspapers, TV or radio stations that promote negative portrayals of people with mental illness.

This advice is great for someone who has reached a point in their recovery process where they feel they are equipped and capable of doing this.  However, at this time, the most I can do to change media stereotypes is to talk about it on my blog.  That is a comfortable place for me to tackle difficult issues.

4. Support those with mental health issues. Treat them with respect. Help them find jobs or housing. Encourage them to get or stick with treatment.

Encouraging people is something I can do.  When I go to my counseling appointments now, I make  a point of speaking with other patients in the waiting area.  Many times I make a point of speaking to someone that I would not have spoken to in the past.

5. Share your story. If you or someone in your family has had a mental illness, speak up about it. Your example could help someone else.

I have been sharing my story for months on my blog.  It is easy to do there because I can hide behind a computer screen.  I am slowly becoming more comfortable sharing my story in person, attaching a face to the story.  I can see that it does make a difference.

Steps to Cope with Stigma

There are some things we can do to cope with the stigma that surrounds people with a mental illness.

  • Get treatment. Do not let the fear of being “labeled” prevent you from seeking diagnosis and treatment.  Diagnosis and treatment can relieve a great deal of stress and tension by identifying what is wrong in concrete terms, and reducing symptoms that interfere with work and your personal life.
  • Do not let stigma create self-doubt and shame. One of the best ways to minimize the stigma about mental illness is to come to terms with your illness.  Feeling ashamed, embarrassed or humiliated because of something that is beyond your control is very destructive.
  • Seek support. Although you might not feel comfortable telling anyone anything about your condition, it is important to do so.  If you tell people you trust, you may find compassion, support and acceptance. Stigma can lead to social isolation, making it extremely important to stay in touch with family and friends who understand.
  • Don’t equate yourself with your illness. You are not your illness.  Instead of saying “I’m bipolar,” say “I have bipolar disorder.”  Do not say you “are depressed.”  Say you “have depression.”
  • Use your resources. In the United States there are federal, state, and nonprofit resources available to you.  You may have to look for them.  You can get a friend or family member to help you search out the resources you can use.

Even though I am technically disabled, I cannot get disability.  The reason is because I chose to be a stay home mother for many years,  I do not have enough job credits in the Social Security System.  However, I have found help.  I have gotten a year’s worth of free medications from the drug manufacturers, by filling out the proper paperwork and submitting it to them.  The psychiatric clinic I go to gets government funding, so at this time, based on my husband’s income I do not have to pay for my appointments.

I believe that if we all work together and do what we can, we can erase the stigma that surrounds people with mental illnesses.

Monday Mayhem – All About Mom


Welcome to Monday Mayhem. This meme is for people who just wanna have fun on a Monday. Last week Mayhem was All About You so today’s Monday Mayhem is It’s All About Mom. Since Mother’s Day was yesterday, Mayhem hopes that all you Mom’s out there had a great Mother’s Day. You can answer the questions any way you want to. Be sure to check out the other participants.


1. How old is your Mom? If she has passed away, how old would she be? She will be 60 in September.  She looks young for her age, so it is hard in a way to believe that she is almost 60 years old.

2. What is/was your Mom’s worst habit?

I am sure she has a bad habit or two, but the one thing I would have listed here, she has worked hard to stop doing. 

3. What famous person does/did your Mom resemble (a picture of that famous person would be nice)?

I do not think she looks like any famous person.  She looks like my mom.

4. What would be one meal that you would love for your Mom to cook for you right now?

Fried Oysters.  They are so good.

5. Was your Mom a Stay at Home Mom or did she have to go to a work/job (and yes, Mayhem understands and knows that being a Stay at Home Mom is work/job) when you were growing up?

From what I can remember she was a stay at home mom when I was growing up.  She was president of the PTA at one time and that took up a lot of her time.  She volunteered in the attendance office of my high school (hard to skip school with her doing that) and I think I remember her taking some computer classes or something when I was a teenager.

6. If you could change one thing about your Mom what would it be?

Honestly, nothing.  The things about her personality that I really disliked she has worked hard to change.

7. Did you ever make your mom cry? if so, explain.

More times than I care to remember.  I was a difficult teenager, and that upset her.  Plus, as an adult I have done things that I am not proud of, that I am sure made her cry.

8. Have you ever told a lie to your Mom to protect yourself or someone else? If yes, have you come clean and told your Mom the truth?

Yes, many.  No, I have not come clean now.  I am 40, she is almost 60, “coming clean” at this time would serve no purpose.

9. What is the one thing that you most admire about your Mom?

I think she is very brave.  She has changed a whole lot.  To do that she would have had to look at herself very closely and identify her own faults.  That is a very difficult thing to do and I believe it takes courage and bravery to do it.

10. In 10 words or less, describe your Mom.

brave, truthful, strong, Christian, compassionate, helpful, loyal, fun, interesting, smart

Thanks for playing this week. Mayhem will catch you on the flip side next week.

Sex and Mental Health- Mental Health Awareness Month

Content Warning:  This post contains mature subject matter. This topic may not be suitable for everyone. The topic of sex is discussed. However, it is discussed in a tasteful manner.  It is your decision and sole responsibility if you choose to read past this warning.

I have to admit this is a difficult, and embarrassing topic for me to talk about.  I am just not comfortable discussing sex with anyone but my husband.  However, since I am committed to doing my part in raising awareness about mental health issues, and how to maintain good mental health, I felt that this was an important topic to discuss.

I am just like most adult women in the world, I enjoy sex and I enjoy how it makes me feel.  It makes me feel relaxed and less stressed. It also helps strengthen my relationship with my husband.

Sex and Mental Health

Sex is more than just a moment of pleasure.  Many experts agree that sex has several health benefits, including helping to maintain good mental health.

  • Sex is a great stress reliever. Studies have shown that sex can lower our blood pressure and is a big stress reducer.  Frequent (meaning once or twice a week) intercourse between partners who live together, can lower diastolic blood pressure.
  • Sex improves immunity. Good physical health, means we have a better chance at having good mental health.  Frequent  sexual intercourse can affect our physical health by improving our immune system.  It has been linked with increasing our levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A, which can protect us from catching colds, other viruses and infections.
  • Think thin. Sex is a great way to burn calories.  It can burn between 75 to 150 per half an hour.
  • Sex improves cardiovascular health. Eating a healthy diet, maintaining good cholesterol levels and watching your sodium intake are all good for the heart, but so is sex.  It raises our heart rate and increases blood flow.  Frequent sexual intercourse can also reduce the risk of a fatal heart attack by half.
  • Sex improves intimacy. Having sex and orgasms increases the levels of a hormone called oxytocin, sometimes referred to as the “love hormone”.  It lets us feel the urge to nurture and to bond.
  • Sex reduces pain. As the levels of oxytocin increases in our bodies so does endorphins.  As the endorphins increase our pain is reduced.  A headache is no longer a valid excuse to not have sex.  It also reduces arthritis pain and PMS symptoms.
  • Sex boosts self esteem. It seems that many people have sex because it makes them feel good about themselves.  If you are in a committed and loving relationship, sex can raise your self esteem.
  • Sex helps you sleep better. Getting enough sleep does wonders in maintaining good mental health and physical health.  The hormone oxytocin that is released during orgasm also helps you sleep.

I would like to thank Dr. Joy Davidson for her advice and encouraging words about my discussing this topic.  She can be found at The Joy Spot

Pets and Mental Health – Mental Health Awareness

I love having a dog. For me, that unconditional love and acceptance I get from them is irreplaceable. Just petting Minnie’s little head, or having her curl up under the covers with me makes me feel good.  I can talk to her and she listens, at least I think she does. She seems to know when I am not feeling well, because she will curl up next to or on me and comfort me.

She keeps my mind busy and occupied because of the care she requires.  Clipping her nails, giving her baths, and throwing toys for her.  I love giving her baths.  She smells so good afterward and the way she runs around like a maniac after I finish bathing her makes me laugh.  I love what she does to get my attention.  When I have my computer in my lap and she has decided that she needs me, she will climb up in my lap and drop her toy on my keyboard.  She never gets mad at me and she is very easy to please. She is a good companion and does a lot in helping me maintain a positive attitude.

Pets and Mental Health

Pets can be good for our mental health.  A pet cannot cure depression or anxiety, nor is it a substitute for medication or talk therapy.  However, a pet can help improve mild to moderate depression in some people, as well as being helpful for people with anxiety disorders and other psychiatric disorders.

Some Benefits of Pet Ownership.

  • Pets can help ease loneliness or isolation. They accept us for who we are and do not judge us.  They also help us stay connected with other people, by providing us with a topic of conversation and by giving us something we have in common with many other people.
  • Physical contact is important to our mental health. Stroking and cuddling with a pet is therapeutic. It relieves stress and anxiety.
  • Animals improve our mood with their companionship. We are also likely to laugh and be more playful when we share our home with a pet.
  • Pet owners are more active. The exercise we get from walking, feeding, and grooming a pet keeps our minds healthy.
  • Routine is beneficial to emotional stability. Caring for a pet provides a predictable routine and a link to reality.

Some things to remember before you rush out and get a pet.

  • If you are already so depressed that you are having difficulty taking care of yourself, having a pet is going to make it worse.
  • If someone is not a “pet person” than getting one is not likely to help improve their life.

However if the conditions are right, pets can help mental health.  The benefits can come from all kinds of pets and not just from dogs and cats.  Even watching fish in an aquarium has been shown to ease muscle tension and lower pulse rates.

My Mother's Day Present – Mental Health Awareness

As a mother with Clinical Depression and an Anxiety Disorder, I have not always been the parent I should have been. I spent three years in bed, barely able to function, while my daughter had to take care of herself. I traumatized her by attempting to commit suicide and having to be hospitalized. I hurt her when I told her I did not want her around me. By the time I started my recovery process, she was a sad, angry young lady, who no longer trusted me.

Last November my daughter wrote me a letter. In it she expressed how she felt about me, my depression, and how it affected her. With her permission, I wrote a post about her letter. Here is some of her letter and parts of that post:

“I miss the mom I used to have. I miss the mom who would do anything and everything. I miss the mom who would spend time with me. I miss the mom that I could talk to. I miss my fun and loving mom.”

Sadness, hurt, abandonment, tears, and pain are some of the words I think of every time I read that. I feel so sorry for the child who is expressing those feelings. I feel such utter sadness because the child who wrote those words is my daughter.

“I feel like you have pushed me away. I feel like you don’t really mean I Love You.”

I just want to cry when I see those words. I cannot blame her for thinking that though. In my checked out, depressed state I did push people away, including her and my husband. The thought processes going on in my head at the time rationalized me pushing them away. I told myself that by pushing them away, I was getting them used to taking care of themselves. Which meant when I decided the time was right for me to end my life, it would make it easier for me to go through with it.

Since receiving that letter from her, I have worked so hard on our relationship, and I can say that we have made huge progress. She feels comfortable with me and trusts me again. We talk to each other much more than we ever have and we have grown very close. I enjoy my time with her.

Friday afternoon, she came to me and said she could not wait any longer. She gave me two pieces of paper and said “Happy Mother’s Day”. On one piece of paper was a beautiful picture she had drawn. On the other was a letter she had written me. Not only is that letter proof of how much our relationship has changed, it also is the most wonderful gift I have ever been given. With my daughter’s permission I am going to post what she wrote to me.

Mom,
First off, I would like to say Happy Mother’s Day and I hope you like or love the picture, even though it sucks.  You’re the greatest mommy in the world  =) and I think if you were to ask  Minnie, she would bark in agreement.  So I just want to say you are the greatest every day, every month, every year, every hour, that includes the hours that you sleep and snore like a mad woman. =)  So Happy Mother’s Day and I love you a lot…I should be writing letters every day instead of on a day picked out for all moms.

This letter sounds so much more positive than the last one she gave me. In it I can see and feel how much happier she is. Working on our relationship was one of the hardest things I have had to do in my recovery process, but I am so happy that both of us were willing to do what needed to be done. I am looking forward to a lifetime of enjoying her company and loving her.

Saturday Silliness – Mental Health Humor



THE 12 WARNING SIGNS OF GOOD HEALTH*

(If several or more appear, you may rarely need to visit a doctor.)

1. Regular flare-ups of a supportive network of friends and family.
2. Chronic positive expectations.
3. Repeated episodes of gratitude and generosity.
4. Increased appetite for physical activity.
5. Marked tendency to identify and express feelings.
6. Compulsion to contribute to society.
7. Lingering sensitivity to the feelings of others.
8. Habitual behavior related to seeking new challenges.
9. Craving for peak experiences.
10. Tendency to adapt to changing conditions.
11. Feelings of spiritual involvement.
12. Persistent sense of humor.

Mental Hospital Interview

Dr. Leroy, the head psychiatrist at the local mental hospital, is examining patients to see if they’re cured and ready to re-enter society.

“So, Mr. Clark,” the doctor says to one of his patients, “I see by your chart that you’ve been recommended for dismissal. Do you have any idea what you might do once you’re released?”

The patient thinks for a moment, then replies, “Well, I went to school for mechanical engineering. That’s still a good field, good money there. But on the other hand, I thought I might write a book about my experience here in the hospital, what it’s like to be a patient here. People might be interested in reading a book like that. In addition, I thought I might go back to college and study art history, which I’ve grown interested in lately.”

Dr. Leroy nods and says, “Yes, those all sound like intriguing possibilities.”

The patient replies, “And the best part is, in my spare time, I can go on being a teapot.”

Humor And Mental Health – Mental Health Awareness

I have never considered myself a funny person. It is hard to be funny when all you see is the negative in everything. When I started feeling better and my thoughts were more clear and positive, I had to teach myself how to find the humor in life. The way I put it one time, was that my funny bone was broken and needed to be fixed.

Eventually, I learned that I do have a sense of humor. It was just a little squashed from not having been used for so long. Once I began using my sense of humor, I found it a great way to diffuse my emotions when I am angry or irritated. It has also been a great tool in taking the seriousness out of a situation, so I do not worry and stress about things as much. The most important thing I discovered about having a sense of humor, is that it is a great way to bond with the people in your life.

Humor and Mental Health

Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain and conflict. Nothing works faster to bring your mind back into balance than a good laugh.  Humor lightens your load, inspires hope, connects you to others and keeps you grounded focused and alert.  With its ability to heal and renew us, laughter is a wonderful resource for overcoming problems, enhancing relationships, and supporting both physical and mental health.

More than just a break from sadness and pain, laughter gives you the courage and strength to find new sources of meaning and hope.  Even in the most difficult times something as simple as a smile can go a long way to making us feel better.

The Link Between Laughter and Mental Health

  • Laughter dissolves distressing emotions. You cannot feel anxious, angry or sad if you are laughing.
  • Laughter helps you relax and recharge. It reduces stress and increases energy, enabling you to stay focused and accomplish more.
  • Humor shifts perspective, allowing you to see situations in a more realistic, less threatening light.  A humorous perspective creates psychological distance, which can help you avoid feeling overwhelmed

2010 Cartoon-A-Thon

This week I discovered what I think is a terrific site.  It is Mental Health Humor by Chato B. Stewart.

For the last three years in May, Mr. Stewart has hosted a Cartoon-A-Thon for Mental Health Awareness Month. This year his theme is Mental Health Heroes. Each day in May, he will highlight a Mental Health Hero by drawing a caricature of them.

Here is just a tiny bit of his story in his own words.

“I started out with my personal hero… ME!  When I look back just 3 years ago, I was lost; had no hope and in the hospital from a suicide attempt.  It was my last call for help. O.K., maybe I called a few other times in the past… As my Med manager says, it was “multiple attempts.”  This time my cries for help were heard by a piece of paper and a dull pencil in the hospital…  The Psych Ward doesn’t let us have sharp pencils.  I guess, they fear, we might poke an eye out or something.  It was there, it all started.  Instead of writing a journal,  I drew cartoons of my mental vacation.  I found focus and balance in drawing. Yes, it was art therapy with cartoons!”


Mental Health Humor
Permission to use by Chato B. Stewart

One of the things I like about Mr. Stewart and his humor is his ability to point out the humorous side of what it is like to live with a mental illness. For me, it takes some of the seriousness out of the situation and allows me to see some of what I have encountered in a less discouraging light. I have posted two of his cartoon creations. I encourage you to visit his site and see his other work.


Mental Health Humor
Permission to use by Chato B. Stewart


Mental Health Humor
Permission to use by Chato B. Stewart