I will try and catch up on my commenting today.  I have been so busy researching information for my Mental Health Awareness posts that I keep running out of time to comment on the blogs I follow.  I appreciate everyone’s patience.

As much work as it has been to do those posts every day, I have enjoyed it a great deal.  Not only have I learned a lot, I have met some other fabulous bloggers.

Yesterday I found out, from my mom,  that my dad has an aneurysm in his back.  The good news is that it is not life threatening at this time.  His doctor is going to keep an eye on it though.  My dad called after I spoke to my mother.  I was rather disturbed and upset by what he said.

In his conversation with me, he told me about an uncle of his that had a similar aneurysm and that when it “blew” his uncle was dead within 30 minutes.   Then my father proceeds to tell me that he is not worried about his aneurysm because he has lived a full life and seen and done things that most people have not.  He also says that when he goes he will leave behind a very rich wife.  I am sure he thinks he is being funny or at least amusing when he says those things, but I do not find what he said the least bit amusing.  To me it almost feels as if he has given up already.  Not to mention, my dad is not the best at taking care of himself, so in way it makes me think that he is justifying his lack of care for himself.

May 17th is the “anniversary”  of my last, and almost successful, suicide attempt.  I am feeling anxious about that upcoming date.  I have an appointment with my counselor on that day.  I will discuss with her why I feel so anxious about it.

Well, I guess that is all my random thoughts this morning.