Writing For Wellness – Mental Health Month

I had no idea when I began writing/journaling about my experiences with depression how vital it would become in my journey towards wellness. The act of writing about my thoughts, feelings, challenges, and triumphs has made it possible for me to view my struggles with depression from a different perspective – allowing me to make better choices regarding my mental health. I wholeheartedly believe journaling made it possible for me to do well in depression treatment.

Anytime I encounter someone who is struggling with depression – or any other mental health issue – I strongly encourage him or her to start writing in a journal. I know writing long detailed journal entries is not for everyone, and can be overwhelming for people who do not normally like to write. That is OK. Even the most basic of journal entries -ones simply tracking your daily moods -are often enough to help someone keep track of what is going on in their head. My first attempts at journaling about my depression took the form of smilely faces and sad faces in a pocket calendar.

Some of the reasons writing/journaling can help someone manage their depression are:

1.  A journal is a safe place to release your thoughts and emotions. One of the worst things you can do if you are depressed -or anyone for that matter – is to bottle up your thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Writing about them helps you release – making it easier for you to move forward.

2.  A journal makes you take a good look at yourself. If you have a very negative attitude -which feeds into your depression – you will be able to identify it very quickly. By reviewing previous journal entries, you will be able to see threads of doubt, mistrust, and hopelessness. When you can clearly identify these negative thought processes, you can take action toward changing them.

I have to tell you from my experience, learning how to change your negative thought processes to positive ones is probably the MOST IMPORTANT step in depression treatment.

3.  A journal is your place to just “be“. Sometimes using words to express yourself is not enough. It can be just as healing to express your self with paintings, drawings, photographs, and etc.

4.  A journal lets you know if you are progressing. One good thing about keeping track of your days is -when you are consistent – you will be able to keep track of your progress. You will have something you can look through, and see how much you have improved. It will also be something that you can use to identify areas that still need some work  – for example, a negative attitude.

5.  Writing helps you get a handle on your mental status. Journaling your way through depression, is like keeping a ledger. It allows you to keep track of your ups and downs, and their causes. Being able to predict your mental lows makes it easier for you to manage them.

Here are a few ideas to get you started journaling:

  1. Start off simply. For me, starting off with smiley faces and sad faces in a pocket calendar was perfect. It was a simple way to get me into the habit of tracking my moods. It also made it easier to transition into more detailed accounts of my moods, emotions, and thoughts – making it easier for me to identify things that affected them.
  2. Journaling is NOT a competition. If you get busy,  too tired, or just do not feel like it, I promise you the world is not going to end if you miss a day or two of journaling. Do not let journaling become another source of stress, or something to beat yourself up about if you miss a day here or there.
  3. What you write is yours to keep. Never let anyone pressure you into showing them what you have written in your journal. It is yours, not theirs. If you want to show them, do so! Just remember, you are under no obligation to share your private thoughts with anyone.
  4. Using writing prompts is OK. Sometimes you need a little jump start to get your daily journal writing going. One way to do this is through the use of writing prompts. Writing prompts usually are simple sentences or words whose purpose is to give you an idea of what to write about.

The following is a list of writing prompts that should be helpful to most new journal writers, and might even spark a few ideas in those who have been journaling for a while:

  1. Write about a favorite childhood memory.
  2. In a positive way, write down three things you would like to change/improve about yourself -and why.
  3. Write down something you wish people knew about depression, -or any mental health issue – and how it affects you.
  4. List  three positive things you have learned from depression -or any mental health issue.
  5. Write about something or someone that makes you feel good.
  6. Look out of your window, and describe what you see. How does it make you feel?
  7. When you are having depression symptoms, what are some things you do to manage them?
  8. Describe what a day in your life is like.
  9. Write down five things you are thankful for.
  10. Pretend you just met someone who was recently diagnosed with depression. What advice would you give them? What encouragement which you give them?

My Story – A Video

I was inspired by several mental health activists who use art as a way to express their thoughts about what it is like living with a mental health issue. However, my artistic abilities never graduated beyond stick figures. What I decided to do was combine the art that I could do with my ability to make short videos.

The following is a result of that combination:

May Is Mental Health Month

Mental Health America began its tradition of celebrating ” May is Mental Health Month” in 1949. From the beginning, the purpose of this celebration is to raise awareness of mental health conditions and mental wellness for all.

 

This year, Mental Health America will be addressing these issues through two themes:

Do more for 1 in 4 is a call to action to help the 1 in 4 American adults who live with a diagnosable, treatable mental health condition and the fact that they can go on to live full of productive lives.

The second theme, Live Well! It’s Essential for Your Potential, focuses on the importance of mental wellness in the steps ever when content to improve their well being and resiliency in the face of difficult times and challenges.

 

My plan is to participate in this awareness month. One of the ways I intend to do that is by creating a new Mentl Health Month post every day in May. I hope you join me during this time of raising awareness about mental health issues by supporting each other in our individual endeavors to use our voices in order to bring hope to anyone who has a mental health issue for has a family member that does.

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

I miss you.

Yesterday, we opened up the last of your stockpile of mayonnaise. You know the one I am talking about.. the gallon size jar of mayonnaise. I know it sounds silly, but I almost cried when we did.

Opening up the giant jar of mayo reminded me of your other stockpiles around the house – the toilet paper tower, the paper towel pyramid, and a few things left in the freezer. I briefly thought about hiding one or two of your stockpiles, because as long as those things are still here, it almost feels like you are still around and taking care of us.

I still have not gotten used to you not being here anymore. It feels like some of the sparkle in the world is gone.

I love you,
Missy

An Unexpected Lesson

I was wrong about something. I made an assumption about one of mom’s friends that was wrong.

Mom’s dearest friends are a bunch of well put together ladies. They have generous and Godly spirits. When I look at them, I just cannot imagine any of them having any of the same challenges in life that I have had. I learned differently the other day.

Mom had not really shared with her friends all of the details of why I was now living with her. Actually, I think beyond letting them know I was having marriage difficulties she had not really told them much of anything. It was not because she was embarrassed, it was out of respect for my privacy. So when they came over the other day, and I declined their lunch invitation because I needed some downtime, I felt I needed to explain to them that I had an anxiety disorder. The conversation progressed from there.

I talked about my depression, my suicide attempt, and my marriage. Actually, I went into quite a bit of detail about my marriage, and the events that led to me moving in with mom and dad. While I was talking, I noticed one of mom’s friends really identifying with what I was saying. In fact, she made some really spot on observations. She was able to point out Joe Bob’s controlling behavior, his manipulation, and other negative behavior that he exhibits. She was even able to clearly identify some of his manipulative behavior – that to outsiders looks perfectly harmless.

At some point, she shared a few things about her own life. I was surprised by what I heard. This gentle, soft spoken lady had marriage war stories of her own. Hers involved a great deal of physical abuse. Yet, she did not seem bitter, or angry. She honestly seemed at peace with her past. What an inspiration! What a lesson I learned!

I think I would love to hear her story. I think she has a lot to teach me. She has already taught me a big lesson about assuming someone has had it easy just because they look like they have it all together.

Thankful Five

Taking the time to keep track of the things I am thankful for has been such a good reminder of how much I am blessed. I challenge you to keep track of the things that you are thankful for.

 

  1. I am thankful for the many thoughts and prayers people have had for my mother and me.
  2. I am thankful for the many tears I have shed and the laughter I have experienced when I have thought of my dad.
  3. I am thankful friends and family who have more rational minds than I do.
  4. I am thankful for being alive. Even though I am really sad, and I miss dad a great deal, I am still very thankful I am alive.
  5. I am thankful for the sounds of the birds chirping, and the woodpecker beating his head on a tree.

ANYWAY…

Mom found this when she was organizing a few things. She thought -correctly – I would find it helpful with all the things Joe Bob, June Bob, Jessup Bob, and Jo Jo Bob have said to me recently. I do not know who wrote this, otherwise I would give them credit for it.

 

ANYWAY

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,

It is between you and God;

It was never between you and them

anyway.

I Did It!

Yesterday, I spent the day at the Georgia Aquarium with my family. When I first found out that we were going, I really had mixed emotions about the trip. I wanted to go because I enjoy that kind thing, however, because of my anxiety issue it has been YEARS since I have been any place filled with that many people. I decided to go with an open mind, prepared to have fun rather than worry about my anxiety.

 

It was crowded, and  there were definitely a lot of screaming kids, but I really enjoyed myself. What really surprised me was how well I did during the dolphin show. When I walked into the area where the dolphin show was held, and saw the crowd, I almost walked out. It was huge, and even though it was about 15 minutes before the show was supposed to start, people were packed into the seats.

dolphin show crowd

Mom and her friend were already seated -they had been escorted to the handicap section. While I was looking for my own seat I saw mom, and stopped to say something to her. The gentleman who was in charge of that section was nice enough to get me a chair so I could sit with her. That turned out to be a great place for me to sit. Because of the way the handicap section is set up, I did not feel all packed in like I would have if I had sat in the regular section. There was no feeling of my personal space being invaded.

 

No offense to any of you parents with small children, but the sound of a screaming child will send my anxiety levels shooting sky high faster than just about anything else. While we were waiting for the dolphin show to start a toddler -who was probably very tired -had a meltdown. Unfortunately, the toddler was right behind me. Even then, I managed my anxiety better than I would have in the past.

screaming child

 

I think the beluga whales, and the jellyfish were my favorite exhibits. I enjoyed watching the whales gracefully move through the water, and jellyfish are weird, and that is why I like them.

 

Overall, the aquarium trip rocked! Here are a few the pictures I took:

 

Shhh – Mom Is Sleeping

My mom is actually sleeping. Before you say ” So what?”, I need to explain something to you. At the end of last week, mom went about four days with barely any sleep, and this week she has not experienced much of a change. The primary reason is Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS). Her legs have been making her more miserable than usual.

 

I have heard her crying, and moaning because of how miserable she is. There are days when she looks physically ill, because of how little sleep she has had. There is no doubt in my mind that the lack of sleep is detrimental to her health, and I am not sure if there is much more -if anything – that can be done to help her. She is suffering, and is attempting to cope as best as she can.

 

I usually, get up a few times every night. When I do, I try to locate mom –  just to check on her. That ritual is like playing a game of ” Where’s Waldo” – I never quite know where she is going to be when I start looking for her. This morning was no exception. This time I actually found her in a bed -snoring. That tells me that she was not only asleep, but that it was one of the few times she managed to fall deeply asleep.

 

Just because I found her sleeping does not mean she got a decent night’s rest. So – like I normally do – I tried to make as little noise is possible. I hope she is still asleep.

 

I wanted to share this with you, because I do not think most people realize how horrible RLS can make someone’s life. I believe Restless Leg Syndrome is an Invisible Illness whose detrimental effects on a person’s mind, and body have long been misunderstood.

A Secret

WEGO Health’s Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge prompt for April 10th was:

Post Secret. You know the beloved post secret community? Write down a secret that really isn’t a secret. Hint: A misconception about your condition, something people would think you’d be shy to disclose (but will!), or just something you want to shout from the rooftops!

I realize I am several days late in writing this, but it has been rather hard to figure out which secret I wanted to reveal.

 

It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes; it takes more grit and gumption to forgive them for having witnessed your own. ~ Jessamyn West

 

Verbal jousting – otherwise known as ” I am right, you are wrong, and I am going to keep this ‘discussion’ going until you concede that I am right, or  you give up” syndrome – is something that I used to engage in frequently. I enjoyed it immensely, and I was very extremely awesomely good at it.

 

I used to look for targets victims, and felt a surge of adrenaline when I could bait them into a verbal jousting match. It did not really matter if I was really right, as long as I could convince them I was. I enjoyed the challenge, and strategy involved. Before the conversation even started I would be ready with several sentences, words, and phrases, that – when carefully used – would guarantee victory – often at the cost of someone else’s self esteem. To put it plainly, I was a bully.

 

I also had a case of last-worditis. Basically that means that not only did I have to be right, I also had to have the last word – a Zinger. When it came to verbal jousting I was pretty quick on my feet, and I could have a whole list of Zingers to choose from within seconds.

 

Oh it gets worse…

 

I taught these skills to my children – who took to it like ducks to water, especially my son.

 

Obviously, when I became severely depressed I did not even have the desire or energy to participate in these bad behaviors. Fortunately, once I became mentally healthier I could identify why I chose to act this way – it made me feel better about myself – and make different choices.. However, the consequences of my past need to always be right, and have the last word are very heavy.

 

I think the worst consequences are as a result of teaching my children how to Verbally Joust. When I see them engage in these behaviors I feel very sad that I was the one who taught them how to do it. It is not a healthy way for them to gain self esteem. To be quite frank, in recent months they have delighted in behaving this way towards me. It hurts, and I know what they are doing. I can only imagine the pain they cause others who cannot identify why they’re being bullied.

 

The true nature of what I taught my children recently dawned on me. In a text conversation with my son, in which I was trying to explain to him how hurtful it was that he never took the time to call his grandmother regarding his grandfather’s – her husband – death, he was more intent on trying to be right, and having the last word, then actually hearing what I was trying to say. In fact, it was so important to him that at one point he took the time to let me know I had misspelled a word. With my daughter, these behaviors are less subtle. To obtain the last word – in a recent conversation – she began to use very inappropriate language. After letting her know that I would not talk to her while she was speaking to me that way – and hanging up – she chose to send me a text message full of obscenities. While I do wholeheartedly admit my role in teaching them Verbal Jousting, both of my children are old enough to make the choice to not behave in this manner.

 

I hope my children learn how to interact with others without Verbal Jousting and last-worditis. They are never really going to be truly happy with themselves until they do. Building your self esteem on how you can tear others down is a very shaky thing, and you almost always come tumbling down.

 

I still very much enjoy conversations where I can be right, however, nowadays they more closely resemble a healthy debate. In fact, whenever possible, I try to remember to ask the person on the receiving end if we can engage in a healthy debate. As far as my last-worditis goes, if I really MUST have the last word, I attempt to make sure it is a positive one.