Is there anyone you owe an apology to? Have you been neglectful in saying thank you to someone? Have you let some one know how much you appreciate them? I think it would be safe to say that almost all of us have failed to give an apology, forgotten to say thank you, and not told somebody how much we appreciated them. It happens with our families, coworkers, friends, and people we don’t know but interact with on a daily basis.

It often hurts and/or disappoints us when others fail to express their appreciation for a sacrifice we have made or service we have given. Guess what? We often hurt and/or disappoint others for the same reasons.

Most of us are very good at expressing our disapproval verbally and physically, but for some reason we often fail to share words of encouragement and appreciation. We have plenty of excuses for why we didn’t – there was not enough time, we forgot, we just did know what to say.

I have learned a couple if things about giving an apology, saying thank you, and expressing appreciation:

1.  It only takes 30 seconds.

2.  As long as you mean what you say, it does not matter how pretty it sounds.

Some examples:

Thank you. I know this was a sacrifice of your time, your emotion, and your finances.

I appreciate you. You have really gone out of your way to support me.

I apologize. Sometimes I get too busy and caught up in my own stuff that I am inconsiderate of others. I’m sorry.

Life is short. We have a very limited amount of time to say the important things. The words we let go unsaid, are often the ones that hurt is the most.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. ~ Samuel Johnson

Life is not fair, and people do and say things that hurt our feelings. Right or wrong, fair or unfair, kind or mean this is just the way the world is.  I believe how we react to these things has a huge impact on our outlook on life.

I have to admit, it has been a struggle for most of my life to move past hurt feelings, and a sense of having received the short end of the stick in life. I spent days, weeks, months, and years dwelling about the many wrongs that happened to me. In my mind, my imagination created elaborate scenarios of revenge. I ranted and raved about the unfairness of life, and how other people had it better than I did. I wanted what they had, not because I had done anything to earn it, but just because I wanted it. I was so angry, and bitter all the time.

I think I was a very self absorbed person. I spent a lot of a time concentrating on my wants, my needs, and my feelings. I did have the rare moment when I thought of someone other than myself, but unfortunately it did not happen often. I was not mean -most of the time -I was just very inconsiderate of others. In some ways, this basic selfishness I felt became worse when I started experiencing severe depression symptoms. I say this because all I could think about was me. Depression treatment has been very effective at teaching me better social skills, including how to be considerate of others.

From my own experiences,  I have come to believe many people are afflicted with attitudes of selfishness, and self absorption. From what I can tell, those people are usually bitter, angry, and often lack control over the things they say and do. At least I know I was. They are not bad people -myself included – but when you are concentrating that much on yourself, if it is very difficult to understand the impact you have on others -from family members, to total strangers.

It is unfortunate – there are days where wish I could do things differently – that the worst of my self absorbed and selfish behavior took place during the time I was raising children. They have memories of a mother who did not pay as much attention to their needs and wants as I should have. Not to mention, the way they are acting now is the very same behavior I modeled for them. However, that is not who I am now.

I have learned that everyday I make a mark on someone’s life. It is either a positive or negative mark -nothing is neutral. In my opinion, it does not matter whether I know someone in real life, or only on the Internet, I still have the ability to make a mark on his or her life.

When I am interacting with others, I try to keep a few things in mind:

Did I inspire or motivate?

Did I leave someone more confident than when I found him or her?

Did I extend generosity or kindness or mercy?

Did I make someone laugh?

Did I leave someone with hope?

I know that every time I interact with someone I am leaving something behind. My hope is to leave something positive behind. What do you leave?

I recorded some thoughts I had – while writing this post. I hope you take the time to listen.

My Thoughts While Writing This Post