You Will Not Die!

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There was no hint that anything unusual was going to happen. It was another very ordinary morning in a long line of ordinary mornings. Coffee was made, breakfast was eaten, and as usual Anna was sneaking herself some coffee. There was not much conversation, mostly Anna and I speaking in grunts. Neither of us care for mornings very much.

Once we progressed past the grunting stage of our morning, a real conversation could start.

“Mom!”

“Yes, Anna.”

“Mom, Mom!”

“Yes, Anna. What do you need?”

“Nothing. Hey Mom! Guess What?

“No”

“Please Mom. I’m not going to do it”

“Okay. What?”

‘Chicken Butt!!!”

She did it.

After our morning conversation, I go back to grunting, and Anna heads for the shower. A very long shower. I have resigned myself to the fact that it is in the genetic make up of a thirteen year old girl to take very long showers. However, this gives me twenty minutes of quiet time every morning. I either use this quiet time to write or to cat nap, sometimes both. This particular morning I was doing both. I started writing, and would doze off now and then, with my hands still on the keyboard. When I would wake up, I could see a line of L’s on my screen. I was so absorbed in my dozing off and writing that I did not notice that the shower had been turned off.

The next thing I am aware of is Anna screaming and running out of the bathroom. She was on the verge of hysterics. Initially, all that can be understood of what she is saying is the word stung. Eventually, in between screams, she manages to say that she has been stung, on her foot, by a scorpion. Knowing that her only exposure to scorpions is from TV, I had an idea of what was going through her mind.

“Anna! You will not die!”

The screaming stopped.

After sitting on the couch with an ice pack on her foot, Anna becomes convinced that the stinger from the scorpion is still in her foot and starts to become upset all over again. Afraid that there might be more screaming , I quickly explain to her that scorpions do not lose their stingers like bees do. Which meant that there is “no way that there is a stinger in her foot“. She calms down a little more. At this point she demands that I smush the scorpion.

After grabbing one of my husband’s boots, Anna and I head to the bathroom. That is when she reveals that she is not sure where the scorpion is. The scorpion’s stinger had been stuck in her foot, with the scorpion dangling from it, when she saw that she shook her foot and the scorpion went flying. After some searching we located the scorpion and I smushed it.

While I am smushing the scorpion, I cannot help but to remember when my brother gave Anna a lollipop with a scorpion inside it. Which leads to me to wonder how easy it would be to put the scorpion in a Popsicle and freak Anna out with it.

Once the scorpion has been dispatched, Anna settles back down on the couch with the ice pack on her foot again. She sits there quietly for quite some time. Most likely she was in some form of shock after her traumatic morning. As the pain leaves her foot, she starts acting like her normal self again.

Well, almost normal. Now when she walks barefoot through the house, you can see her examining the floor, the corners of rooms, and walking on her tip toes.

A quote from my brother after hearing about the incident…

“Yeah everybody warns us about snakes and bees but no one talks about scorpions.”

My Writing Journey

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This blog post is dedicated to my biggest fan.  Without her I would not be writing. I love you bunches!

I have always liked the idea of keeping a journal, but I have never been the type of person to keep one. I tried. I would always start off with the best of intentions, I would keep up with writing in it every day for a few weeks, then I would only write in it once every couple of weeks. I would progress to only writing in it once a month or so, finally I would just quit writing in it all together. Eventually, I would even forget that I had a journal.

There are times that I wish I had managed to keep up with my journaling. It would have been a great way to preserve my thoughts and feelings about a particular event in my life. I also seem to have a memory problem. There are a great many events in my past that I just do not have much or any memory of. A journal would have been a good memory aid.

There were many reasons I could not keep up with my journaling. I found it boring and tedious. I never liked what I wrote, and I never thought that I was a very good writer. I did not think it was worth the effort that I would have to put into it.

In September of 2009, my attitude about writing changed. The previous six months had been some of the hardest in my life. I had attempted suicide, started therapy for my depression, had been on several anti-depressants that had failed to work, and I had been hospitalized for a brief period of time in a state run psychiatric hospital. During this time period I became aware that I basically had two emotional states, extreme anger or extreme lack of emotion. When I was experiencing extreme anger, I behaved and said things that were horrible. I knew what I was doing, but I was unable to stop it. I began to believe that if I could write down my thoughts and feelings, that I would have more control over my emotional state.

Given my history with journaling, I knew the chances of me keeping up with my writing would be slim to none if I did not change my approach to it. I decided what I needed was some accountability. A real life person who would notice if I did not write anything for a few days. Not wanting to place yet another burden on my family, I decided to start blogging.

My approach to what I blogged about was the same approach I applied to my therapy sessions. Only the truth would do. The idea of being so honest in my writing did not seem that big of a deal. It was not until I sat down for the first time to write a blog post that I realized that writing the truth about me was going to be difficult. I would be showing myself in a less than positive light, and some of the subject matter that I wanted to write about would be emotionally painful.

Writing honestly on a blog seemed to work, for a while at least. I was able to express my out of control emotions in a constructive way. Between my writing and my therapy, I become a much calmer, less angry and anxious person. However, that type of emotional writing was very exhausting for me, especially since that was the only type of writing I was doing.

Around the end of November of 2009, I put writing in the blog aside for a while. I needed a break, some time to rethink how I approached my writing so that it would not be so exhausting for me. It was also around this time that my asthma began to bother me again. My inability to draw in a proper breath of air was also adding to my exhaustion. It took two months and a week long stay in a hospital for me to get back to my writing.

After so long away from writing, I lacked the motivation to begin again. Day after day went by and I never even attempted to put anything on paper. I figured that no one even noticed that I was not updating the blog, and the more time that passed the less important it seemed to me. I was wrong. The person who voiced their disappointment about the fact that I was not writing took me by complete surprise. It was my thirteen year old daughter.

At that time, I had been unaware that my daughter was reading what I had been writing. It was not until she came to me one day and said, “Mom, it has been a long time since you wrote anything. When are you going to write again?” that I realized she had been paying close attention to everything thing I had written, and for whatever reason she was enjoying it. However, I still did not do any writing. She came to me with that same question every day. I always answered it the same way, “Soon.”. This scenario was repeated many times over the next two weeks. Finally, I gave in. It was easier to give into her, than to have to listen to her ask that question one more time.

My approach to writing on the blog was different this time. I still did the emotional, truth filled blog posts that I had always done, however, this time I also did some silly, fun filled posts. It was a more balanced approach. I found that I really enjoyed writing, even when the topic I was writing about was emotionally difficult.

At this time, I cannot put into words how much writing has come to mean to me. It has come to be a part of who I am. I have found myself dreaming about how far I might be able to go with it, and have taken proactive steps to improve my writing skills. I enjoy the opportunity that it has given me as a way to bond with my daughter. By far though, the one thing I like the best about it is that my daughter is my biggest fan.

Mornning Ramblings About Writing

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I have been so busy the last four or five days. Writing, writing, and more writing, preceded by a 24 hour writer’s block. I know there has not been that much new writing showing up here, so where has my writing been going to?

I recently found a web site called Writing.Com. I am very excited by it. Many, many writers of various types submit their work there. Freelance work opportunities are listed there and publishers often visit the site. The other neat thing about the site is that you can submit your work for review. The other writers on the site are very generous and have been very helpful. Some anonymous person even paid for me to have a three month upgraded membership on the site.

I have submitted a couple of pieces of writing for review. So far the reviews have been very good. Here are two of my favorite quotes from the reviews I have received.

Your spelling and grammar were perfect, your wording really seemed to flow well… The piece itself, I honestly really love and was so pleased to read it…

I only wish I could’ve given you more suggestions on this piece, but I was simply courted by it =-)
What an awesome piece, glad to have read it!

I am looking forward to submitting more writing pieces there.

My daughter and husband have been so cute lately. They have gotten used to me writing something everyday and I have gotten into the habit of reading it to them. Now every evening they ask me if I have anything new and tell me it is “story time” Yesterday my husband told me he thought I should write a book. I feel so blessed to have family members that enjoy what I write so much.

My Relationship With My Purse

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I love purses. I love how they look, feel and even how they smell. My favorites are the ones that are brightly colored and have lots of zippers and pockets. As much as I love purses though, I hate to carry them. It would not matter if it was one of those way over priced purses that so many women seem to love. I still would not find it enjoyable to carry. Instead, I would feel slightly stressed and uncomfortable.

Purses make me feel more awkward and clumsier than I normally am. There is just something about having one hanging from my shoulder that makes me feel like a bull in a china shop. More than once I have pictured myself accidentally taking out shelves and shelves of glassware with a purse. I also have a fear that one day I will turn around in a store aisle and see a line of people, that I had knocked over, laying in the floor.

Every purse I have ever owned seems to eat some of the things I put in it. Items go in, and some are never seen again. Especially chapstick. Dryers eat socks, my purses eat chapstick. I can take everything out, pile it on a table, go through it carefully and never find the three tubes of chapstick that should have been in my purse.

When my purses are not eating my chapstick, they are sucking things to bottom. Most of the time, the only way to find the missing item is to unload my purse, and check all the nooks, crannies and folds that are in the bottom. This procedure seems to take at least fifteen minutes to accomplish, longer if I am looking for my check book and people are waiting behind me.

Given how I feel about carrying purses, it is understandable that once I was emancipated from the diaper bag, I pared down the items I needed to carry around with me. What I ended up with was just enough items that would fit in a slender woman’s wallet that I could stick in my pocket. It was great, no more worrying about injuring people in a horrible purse accident, my chapstick was safe, and I no longer had to dig through something just to find a checkbook. For many years I lived blissfully with my little wallet.

The day that I was diagnosed with asthma, my little wallet and I had to part ways. I had to start carrying a rescue inhaler so I needed to have a purse to put it in. Fortunately, it took up only a little room, so I was able to use a fairly small purse. Since it was so small, I did not feel as clumsy as I normally would with a purse and when I had to find something in it, there was very little I had to look through. It still ate my chapstick though.

Then came the day I was diagnosed with diabetes. Once again I was having to say goodbye, this time to my little purse. Along with my rescue inhaler, I was now going to have to carry a glucose meter, syringes, vials of two different insulins, alcohol swabs, a small bottle to dispose the syringes in, rescue supplies (in case my sugar dropped), a small can of pineapple juice, crackers, and all my other medications. There is no way I could use any other size purse but the giant kind. You know the kind, they are about as big as a diaper bag.

Once again, I am stuck carrying a purse that makes me feel awkward and clumsy. I have managed to take out a few pieces of glassware with it. My husband’s duty when we go places now is to stand between me and the breakables. More than once he has had to tug on me to keep me from endangering the health and well being of someone standing too close to my purse. It is impossible for me to ever find something without unloading at least a few things. And yes, this purse also has a taste for chapstick.

An Award

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I was blessed to receive an award today. It came from my thoughtful friend bubbleboo at The Thought Bubble It is the Prolific Blogger Award.

bubbleboo has become one of my favorite online friends, and her blog is one of my favorites to read. She tells wonderful stories about her life with her son, and her life. When she gave me the award I felt very touched and honored, it means a great deal to me that she thought I was worthy of it.

The origins of this award can be found at Advance Booking

Here are my seven picks for the award. I wish I could pick bubbleboo, but since she already received it today I cannot.

Emcogneato One of the funniest bloggers I know.

BPD in OKC I enjoy this blogger a great deal. She has a wonderfully honest and open way that she talks about her life, beautiful photography, and a great deal of knowledge about her subject matter.

Hootin’ Anni’s Just as her blog name implies, this woman is a hoot!

Angel Believes This is a new blogger in my life, but I really like her and her blog.

Fourth Grade Nothing A very sweet and funny blogger.

The World As I See It Please take the time to stop by this sweet lady’s blog. You will find it a wonderful read.

I Think It’s Interesting This guy has a wonderful sense of humor and a great blog. His blog is the first one I ever followed.

I urge you all to visit these blogs. Each one is very entertaining for different reasons. I have learned a lot from each and every one.

A Family Thing

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I believe that depression is a family disease. It not only has devastating effects on the person who is ill, it also harms family members. Children lose a parent. Husbands lose their wives. Parents lose their children. Family members are often left feeling abandoned, sad, confused and helpless.

In my family, my daughter is probably the one who has been most affected by my depression. She was around nine or ten when my depression manifested itself to such a degree that I could barely function. I rarely left the bed, and when I did, I was either very cranky or very sad. To my daughter it seemed as if she no longer had a mother to take care of her, play with her, and comfort her. Instead she had a blob.

My husband worked a lot. That meant my daughter had to spend a great deal of time at home, taking care of herself. Too often she had to prepare her own meals, do her own laundry, and take on several household chores. There was too much responsibility placed on her very young shoulders.

All my daughter wanted was a mother to love her and hug her. I was not capable of doing that. She began to believe that I was rejecting her. My daughter felt as if I had abandoned her and no longer cared about her. She thought I no longer wanted her to be around me. To some degree my daughter was correct. I did not want anyone around me.

With her feelings of rejection and abandonment, my daughter became very angry with me. Because of my own lack of self worth and self respect, she lost respect for me. I was too tired from the depression to even bother with discipline, so she became a bit unruly. The blob that I was took no notice of any of this.

After I had managed to reach some sort of even keel in my depression recovery, I began to notice her anger, disrespect and lack of discipline. I tried to be a mom again. I failed miserably. Every time I asked her to do something, or correct her behavior it turned into a huge battle. You could see the anger she had for me oozing out at those times. The amount of disrespect she showed me was heart breaking. It felt as if I had lost my daughter forever.

In time I realized that my daughter’s anger and disrespect was her way of protecting herself from me. If she could distance herself from me, then the next time I went away and became a blob, it would not cause her as much pain. She knew she could trust those emotions to protect her. What she could not trust was me.

I knew that if I did not earn her trust back, she would very likely carry those hostile emotions with her for a very long time. They would affect her and her relationships far into the future. It became my priority to show her she could trust me. I spent a great deal of time talking with her and explaining my illness to her. It seemed important to me to help her understand that I had a disease, just like my asthma and diabetes were diseases. I made sure she saw me taking my medicine and went to every one of my therapy appointments. I wanted her to know that I was doing everything I could to manage my disease.

My depression led me to be a very cranky and not nice person, and when I spoke to people you could hear it in my voice. More importantly my daughter could hear it in my voice. So I changed how I spoke to her. I used a lower tone and always tried to sound interested and patient with her. I changed how I disciplined her. She was no longer nine or ten, she was a thirteen year old young woman. She had become older and more mature during the time I was a blob. She needed to be treated that way.

As I continued with my recovery process and my mind became more clear, I was able to pay more attention to my daughter’s emotional needs. Slowly, I started seeing her anger seep away, and I could see that she was becoming less stressed. She started speaking to me respectfully again. We could joke around with each other and we began to forge a bond.

My time with her recently has been beyond wonderful. We do girly things together, fixing each other’s hair, giving each other fashion advice (her sense of fashion is much better than mine) and sharing reading material. It seems as if she genuinely enjoys spending time with me. I know I enjoy spending time with her, even when she is doing her best to make me nutty.

Friday Funnies – Animals

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Welcome to Friday Funnies!

This week’s joke theme is animals.

Have a great weekend!


Dogs and Light Bulbs

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.

Rottweiler: Make me!

Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh?

Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!

Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he’s busy.

Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls.

Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Mastiff: Screw it yourself! I’m not afraid of the dark…

Doberman: While it’s out, I’ll just take a nap on the couch.

Boxer: Who needs light? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there!

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb?

Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle…

Old English Sheep dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?

Basset Hound: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs — people change light bulbs. I am not one of THEM so the question is, how long before I can expect my light again?

Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned-out bulb?

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BIZARRE REAL LIFE ANIMAL LAWS

In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city’s airport property.

It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 am and after 4 pm in Norfolk, Virginia.

Ducks quacking after 10 pm in Essex Falls, New Jersey are breaking the law.

In Quitman, Georgia, it is against the law for a chicken to cross any road within the city limits.

In McDonald, Ohio, farmers cannot march a goose down a city street. And fowl, particularly roosters, are prohibited from going into bakeries in Massachusetts.

In Kansas, it is illegal for chicken thieves to work during daylight hours.

In New York, frogs may be taken from their ponds from June 16 to September 30, but only between sunrise and sunset.

In Pennsylvania, no one is allowed to shoot bullfrogs on a Sunday.

In Arizona, the bullfrog-hunting season is permanently closed.

In Vermont, you can be fined if your pig runs in a public park without the permission of a selectman.

French Lick Springs, Indiana, once passed a law requiring all black cats to wear bells on Friday the 13th.

Madison, Wisconsin, will not allow joint custody of a family pet when a couple divorces – the animal is legally awarded to whoever happens to have possession of it at the time of the initial separation.

Dogs in Foxpoint, Wisconsin, may not bark profusely, snarl, or make any menacing gestures.

In Texas, it’s illegal to put graffiti on someone else’s cow.

It is illegal to ride a mule down Lang, Kansas’ Main Street in August, unless the animal is wearing a straw hat.

Over in Berea, Kentucky and also in Willamantic, Connecticut, horses are not allowed out on the streets and highways at night unless the animal has a “bright” red taillight securely attached to its rump.

Horses may not wear cowbells inside the city limits of Tahoe City, California.

In Washington, though, every cow wandering the streets of Seattle must be wearing a cowbell.

In Burns, Oregon, horses are allowed in the town’s taverns, if an admission fee is paid before they enter.

You can’t blow your nose in public places in Leahy, Washington, because it might scare a horse and cause it to panic.

In Wanassa, New Jersey, a dog is breaking the law if it is heard to be “crying.”

Thursday Thirteen – Myths

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My Thursday Thirteen for this week is Thirteen Myths about Mental Illness

1. Myth-Psychiatric disorders are not true medical illnesses like heart disease and diabetes. People who have a mental illness are just “crazy.”

Fact-Brain disorders, like heart disease and diabetes, are legitimate medical illnesses. Research shows there are genetic and biological causes for psychiatric disorders, and they can be treated effectively.

2. Myth- People with a severe mental illness, such as schizophrenia, are usually dangerous and violent.

Fact-Statistics show that the incidence of violence in people who have a brain disorder is not much higher than it is in the general population. Those suffering from a psychosis such as schizophrenia are more often frightened, confused and despairing than violent.

3. Myth-Mental illness is the result of bad parenting.

Fact – Most experts agree that a genetic susceptibility, combined with other risk factors, leads to a psychiatric disorder. In other words, mental illnesses have a physical cause.

4. Myth- Depression results from a personality weakness or character flaw, and people who are depressed could just snap out of it if they tried hard enough.

Fact-Depression has nothing to do with being lazy or weak. It results from changes in brain chemistry or brain function, and medication and/or psychotherapy often help people to recover.

5. Myth-Schizophrenia means split personality, and there is no way to control it.

Fact- Schizophrenia is often confused with multiple personality disorder. Actually, schizophrenia is a brain disorder that robs people of their ability to think clearly and logically. The estimated 2.5 million Americans with schizophrenia have symptoms ranging from social withdrawal to hallucinations and delusions. Medication has helped many of these individuals to lead fulfilling, productive lives.

6. Myth-Depression is a normal part of the aging process.

Fact- It is not normal for older adults to be depressed. Signs of depression in older people include a loss of interest in activities, sleep disturbances and lethargy. Depression in the elderly is often undiagnosed, and it is important for seniors and their family members to recognize the problem and seek professional help.

7. Myth-Depression and other illnesses, such as anxiety disorders, do not affect children or adolescents. Any problems they have are just a part of growing up.

Fact- Children and adolescents can develop severe mental illnesses. In the United States, one in ten children and adolescents has a mental disorder severe enough to cause impairment. However, only about 20 percent of these children receive needed treatment. Left untreated, these problems can get worse. Anyone talking about suicide should be taken very seriously.

8. Myth – If you have a mental illness, you can will it away. Being treated for a psychiatric disorder means an individual has in some way “failed” or is weak.

Fact- A serious mental illness cannot be willed away. Ignoring the problem does not make it go away, either. It takes courage to seek professional help.

9. Myth-Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), formerly known as “shock treatment,” is painful and barbaric.

Fact- ECT has given a new lease on life to many people who suffer from severe and debilitating depression. It is used when other treatments such as psychotherapy or medication fail or cannot be used. Patients who receive ECT are asleep and under anesthesia, so they do not feel anything.

10. Myth-Most people with mental illness live on the streets or are in mental hospitals.

Fact-Over two-thirds of Americans who have a mental illness live in the community and lead productive lives. Most people who need hospitalization are only there for brief periods to get treatment and are then able to return home, just like people hospitalized for other conditions. Some people with mental illness do become homeless and could benefit from treatment and services.

11. Myth – I can’t do anything for a person with mental illness.

Fact-You can do a lot, starting with how you act and speak. You can create an environment that builds on people’s strengths and promotes understanding. For example:

Don’t label people with words like “crazy,” “wacko,” or “loony” or define them by their diagnosis. Instead of saying someone is “a schizophrenic,” say he or she “has schizophrenia.”

Don’t say “a schizophrenic person,” say “a person with schizophrenia.”

Learn the facts about mental health and share them with others, especially if you hear something that isn’t true.

Treat people with mental illnesses with respect and dignity, just as you would anybody else.

Respect the rights of people with mental illnesses and don’t discriminate against them when it comes to housing, employment, or education.

Like other people with disabilities, people with mental health problems are protected under federal and state laws

12. Myth-Mental illness is a single, rare disorder.

Fact-Mental illness is not a single disease but a broad classification for many disorders. Anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, personality disorders, eating disorders and organic brain disorders can cause misery, tears and missed opportunities.

13. Myth- If you think someone has a mental illness, you should wait to do something until she asks you for help.

Fact-Addressing the problem as soon as you notice symptoms usually results in earlier treatment and a better outcome. If you notice a friend is behaving differently than usual, you should encourage her to seek help and discuss her problems.Reassure your friend that you’re available for support. If she refuses to seek help, make an appointment with a professional to discuss the situation and the available options.

Thursday Thunks – I Probably Went To The Bathroom

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We pick a subject, and your job is to interpret it anyway you want. Write about it on your blog… simple as that. Maybe you can interpret it as a picture – we don’t care!
Please only leave a link if you have written a Thursday Thunks post. Please mention us in your post, and link back to the blog here.

Don’t forget to go visit the other participants’ blogs. Read and comment about all their Thursday Thunks! Thats what all this is about afterall, isn’t it? We’ll have so much fun and become lifelong friends….

The TT questions are brought to you by Berleen, the color of daisies and the number 0.

Got your taxes done?

What do batteries run on?

Legs



What do chickens think we taste like?

Cow



What do they call a French kiss in France?

a kiss

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real
lemons?

I have no idea, but I like these dancing lemons

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

I do not say what, I say “I did not understand you” and I will say it once. The picture does not go with the question, but I wanted to use it somewhere. This seems as good of a place as any.



I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I probably went to the bathroom or something



So Mel Gibson left his girlfriend – think he’s finally heard of me?

I am sure he has. Just wait by the phone, he could all at any minute.

Why do they call it “getting your dog fixed” if afterwards it doesn’t work anymore?

No idea.

>

Are you bothered that I didn’t number these?

Not at all.

There’s a Froggie Treasure Hunt going on… winner wins a $20 Amazon gift certificate ~ Why haven’t you joined ICForums and started playing yet?

never even heard of it.