Fancy Meal Recipes

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Beetle Juice – our faux cocktail

Ingredients

  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 cup water
  • 2-1/2 cups white grape juice
  • 1-1/2 cups orange juice
  • 1 cup lemon juice

Directions

  • In a large saucepan over medium heat, dissolve sugar in water. Remove
  • from the heat. Stir in the juices; strain to remove pulp. Add enough
  • water or ice to measure 1 gallon; stir well. Yield: 16 servings (4
  • quarts).

The original recipe can be found at Taste of Home – Beetle Juice

Apricot Kielbasa Slices – Appetizer

Ingredients

  • 1 pound fully cooked kielbasa or Polish sausage, cut into 1/4-inch slices
  • 1 jar (12 ounces) apricot preserves
  • 2 tablespoons lemon juice
  • 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger

Directions

  • In a large skillet, brown sausage; drain and set aside. Add the
  • remaining ingredients to the skillet; cook over low heat for 2-3
  • minutes or until heated through, stirring occasionally. Return
  • sausage to the pan; cook for 5-6 minutes or until heated through.
  • Serve warm. Yield: 4 dozen.

The original recipe can be found at Taste of Home – Apricot Kielbasa Slices

Almond Chicken Stir-Fry

(I used white rice instead of the pasta that the recipe called for)

Ingredients

  • 1 cup whole unblanched almonds
  • 1/4 cup canola oil
  • 1 pound boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into cubes
  • 1 tablespoon cornstarch
  • 1/2 cup chicken broth
  • 3 tablespoons soy sauce
  • 2 teaspoons honey
  • 1 teaspoon ground ginger
  • 1 package (14 ounces) frozen sugar snap peas
  • Hot cooked pasta or rice

Directions

  • In a large skillet over medium heat, cook almonds in oil for 3  minutes. Add chicken; cook until meat is no longer pink.
  • In a small bowl, combine the cornstarch, broth, soy sauce, honey and ginger until smooth; add to the chicken mixture.
  • Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened.
  • Reduce heat. Stir in the peas; heat through. Serve with pasta. Yield: 4 servings.

The original recipe can be found at Taste of Home – Almond Chicken Stir-Fry

Apple Lettuce Salad

(instead of buying the different types of lettuce, I bought a bag of lettuce that had a variety in it)

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup unsweetened apple juice
  • 2 tablespoons lemon juice
  • 2 tablespoons cider vinegar
  • 2 tablespoons canola oil
  • 4-1/2 teaspoons brown sugar
  • 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
  • 1/4 teaspoon pepper
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt
  • 1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • Dash ground nutmeg
  • 1 medium red apple, chopped
  • 1 medium green apple, chopped
  • 6 cups torn green leaf lettuce
  • 6 cups torn red leaf lettuce

Directions

  • In a large salad bowl, whisk the first 10 ingredients until blended. Add apples; toss to coat. Place lettuce over apple mixture (do not toss). Refrigerate; toss just before serving. Yield: 12 servings.

The original recipe can be found at Taste Of Home – Apple Lettuce Salad Recipe

Lemon Ice Box Pie

(Frozen, Cracker Barrel copy-cat recipe)

Ingredients

    • 1 graham cracker crust
    • 1 (14 ounce) cans sweetened condensed milk
    • 1/2 cup lemon juice
    • yellow food coloring
    • 8 ounces whipped topping
    • vanilla wafer cookies

Directions

  1. Mix sweetened condensed milk and lemon juice and beat on medium high speed until well blended.
  2. Fold in 1/3 of the whipped topping and 2 drops yellow food coloring.
  3. Pour filling into crust; carefully smooth remainder of whipped topping on top of lemon filling.
  4. Place vanilla wafer cookies around the edge of the pie (can do this right before serving if you prefer a crisper cookie).
  5. Cover pie and place in freezer.
  6. Pie may be kept in freezer for several days until ready to serve.
  7. Take from freezer 10- 15 minutes before serving.

The original recipe can be found at Lemon Ice Box Pie – Cracker Barrel copy-cat

Depression And Cooking

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Even I have to admit that the title of this post looks odd.  What in the world does cooking have to do with depression?  In my experience a lot.

Before my last depressive episode got so bad that it impaired my ability to function, I loved to cook for my family.  Planning and preparing very nice meals for my family gave me a great deal of pleasure.  I was good at it too.  Not executive chef good, but it was good enough that my family enjoyed what I made.  The whole process, from looking up recipes to even going to the store to pick up the ingredients, was something that made me very happy.

However, it was also stressful to cook such nice meals for my family so frequently.  Trying to make sure that each part of the meal was finished on time, and worrying if my family would like what I made them were my biggest sources of stress.  Oh, and the dishes to be cleaned.  I usually had to use so many different gadgets, bowls, pots, and pans that the clean up was awful.

Once depression was ruling my life, I lost any desire I had to plan or fix meals.  Unfortunately, this meant that after working all day, my husband had to come home and cook our supper.  This state of affairs lasted for at least two years. It was hard on my husband, especially since he did understand that I was depressed. Once I got my depression diagnosis he was more understanding, but it did not change the fact that he was having to do so much extra stuff, including meal planning and preparation, when he got home fromy work.

Once I began to start feeling better, I was able to take that duty over again.  However, something had changed .  Even though I wanted to fix nice meals for my family, I had no desire to daily spend the hours on it that I used to.  One of the goals I had near the beginning of my depression treatment, was to find ways to simplify my life, and that included the time and effort I spent on meals.

I began to look for simple but tasty recipes, and much to my surprise I found tons of them. I also approached how I cooked differently.  No more stressing about when the food would be done cooking.  When it was done, it was done.  When possible, especially if I was fixing a big meal, I would just take my time.  The simple recipes meant less ingredients were needed and also less work involved in getting the food ready to cook.  The less work involved in food preparation led to less bowls, pots and pans getting dirty, so I had less clean up.

A couple of weeks ago, I got it into my head to make a really nice meal for the family, at the same time, I wanted it to be something fun and a bit different than what I usually did.  It just so happened that I had a nasty panic attack on the day that I had planned this.  In the past the panic attack would have meant that I was done for the day, and would have spent the rest of the day sleeping.  This time, even though that is what I wanted to do, I kept myself moving and went ahead with what I had planned on cooking.  What I discovered when I was preparing our meal is that, even though this was going to be a fancy meal, by using simple recipes I was able to successfully complete the meal without feeling overwhelmed, like I might have in the past.  This was especially significant considering the panic attack earlier in the day. Anna and I had fun with what I fixed, and we even had faux cocktails for a cocktail hour. I took my time and focused on the meal being fun rather than worrying about any deadline.

In the past I have not shared any recipes on my blog, but I thought since I had so much fun with this meal that I would share what I made.  I have placed the recipes in another post, you can find it here

Fancy Meal Recipes

Why I Talk About Suicide

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In the last few months, one of the things I have become passionate about is suicide prevention.  As a result, I have become more vocal about my own suicide attempts and what brought me to the point where I felt that suicide was my only option.  I have come to believe that the more light that is shed on this difficult to discuss subject, the more aware people will be about the growing epidemic of suicide.

I remember how much pain I was in before I tried to take my own life.  It was a physical and mental pain that was more than I could bear.  The thought of how many people are out there who are in that kind of pain hurts my heart.  I want to let them know that they can move past that pain, and make it to a place where they are happier and healthier.  I want them to know that having hope is possible.

Silence keeps the subject of suicide clouded in mystery.  However, many suicide attempt survivors find it difficult to impossible to talk about it.  There is a great deal of shame associated with having attempted to take your own life.  People make judgments about the type of person your are.  There is an awful lot of pressure to ” perform better” in the future. Not everyone who has survived a suicide attempt is emotionally strong enough to break their silence.  They may never be strong enough. However, since I am strong enough, I feel it is my duty and privilege to attempt to educate people about suicide, and suicide prevention.

Each year the amount of people who die by suicide goes up.  My hope is that if enough people take on the challenge of educating others about suicide and suicide prevention we will one day see the suicide rate go down.  It may be an unrealistic hope, but unrealistic does not mean impossible.

If you are interested in joining an online community for people who have survived their suicide attempt, please take some time to look at Suicide Attempt Survivors

Christianity And Depression

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Article first published as Christianity and Depression on Blogcritics.

For many people with a Mental Health issue, seeing the words Christianity and Depression together is something akin to an oxymoron.  When paired, those words just do not make much sense to them.  Most of the time, this reaction is caused by experiences with the Christian Community that involved stigma, discrimination, and, misunderstanding. The resulting consequences of these negative experiences is that people with depression often feel they are being judged by the Christian Community. These  judgments can range from being told that there is no such thing as depression, to implying that depression  is simply a lack of faith.

For some, these judgments get in the way of seeking help.  Instead, a choice is made to get rid of the depression without any medical intervention.  Rarely does this work.  Others react by experiencing a crisis of faith, frequently leaving them in a deeper state of depression.

However, there are a number of Christians who acknowledge that depression is  a disease.  Interestingly, this is not a recent development.  It appears that many Puritan Pastors. who were well versed in the Bible, recognized that depression was a complex disease with a multitude of causes.  Puritan Pastor Richard Baxter is known for a sermon on depression he once delivered.  In it he declares that not all depression is caused by sin or a lack of faith, but that in many instances its root cause is physical. (Using the word physical during Puritan times also included the brain.)

With very many there is a great part of the cause in distemper, weakness, and diseasedness of the body; and by it the soul is greatly disabled to any comfortable sense. But the more it ariseth from such natural necessity, the less sinful and less dangerous to the soul; but never the less troublesome, but the more.

Basically what Baxter is saying is that even if the cause of the depression is physical it can affect the soul. Not in a Heaven or Hell sense, but that the soul will be in pain. He is also saying that when the depression is caused by something physical then it has no basis in sin and could possibly cause a person to be in more pain than someone feeling depressed or upset because they committed a sin. At the end of this sermon Baxter also discusses how diet and medicine (most likely meaning herbal remedies) can help someone with depression. More information about Richard Baxter and his sermon about depression (including the quote used in this article), can be found at Puritan Resources for Biblical Counseling.

Christians living in today’s world, who believe that depression is a disease, can and do use the Bible to back up their beliefs. David in the old testament on more than one occasion felt as if he had been immersed in a “pit of destruction” or a “miry bog”. These words are believed to describe David’s spiritual condition/depression.

These Christians believe in the miracle of modern medicine to treat previously untreatable depressive episodes. They also believe that joy can be found in God. In essence, they feel that depression can be treated by a combination of medicine and God’s Word, and that this can be done without judgment or alienation of the person with a depression diagnosis.

There will always be some Christians whose viewpoint about depression is that it is not a disease. However, this does not represent the opinion of all Christians. For those who do believe that depression is a disease, their belief is rooted firmly in what the Bible tells them about depression.

Intention

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I have been wanting to write a book for a while now.  A friend of mine who lives in Scotland, she was once my son’s first grade teacher, has been encouraging me for almost a year now to start it.  I have been procrastinating.  Part of me is slightly afraid that it will be awful.  I think that is a normal fear.  The other part of me is hesitant to start because I do not want to cause anyone in my family pain, especially my mother.

My childhood was not great, but it was not the worst one ever.  My mother and I did not get a long for the majority of my teen and adult life.  When I say not get along, let me go further and say that there were times that we could not even be in the same room with each other, because we would end up doing or saying something not nice to the other one.  One of the things that has come out of my depression treatment is that my mother and I have healed our relationship.  She has changed so much in the last few years.  In fact I have not seen many adults her age change as much as she has and of course I have changed during my treatment.  We have a good relationship now.  A friendship that neither one of us ever thought we would have with one another.

That good relationship, and friendship mean the world to me, and I do not want to do anything to damage them.  However, my journey through depression began when I was a child, part of it due to some of the things that went on during that part of my life.  At the same time though, those childhood events would not be the main part of the book.  I would try and write about them in such a way that I can show how those events shaped my brain into being more susceptible to depression and anxiety, starting in my teen years.

One way I thought about handling that was to include a forward to my book, with an explanation about why I am writing it, and to let anyone who reads it know what the focus of the book will be.  I know that most forwards are written after the book is completed, but I wanted to write something now.  An intention for the book.  Something I can look at everyday to remind me what the focus is for the book.  I can see that at some point I may want to turn the intention into the forward or at least include it in it.

I wanted to share that intention with ya’ll.  That way you can give me some feed back about it.

In this book you will go on a journey with me.  It will be a difficult journey, fraught with shattered dreams, sad dark days, tears, and death.  It is a journey filled with hope and healing.  It is a journey through my life.

Painful relationships are a part of this journey.  One of the most painful relationships is with my mother. For too many years, she and I were not healthy together.  We caused each other a great deal of pain.  For me some of that pain began as a child.  After many long years, she and I both came to a place in our lives where we wanted to heal things between us and we did.

There will be times when this journey will follow some difficult pathways with regards to my mother.  I will have hard feelings about her, and it will not show either one of us in a good light.  What you need to keep in mind when we are on those pathways is that whatever feelings and thoughts I had then, I no longer have.  My mother is not the same person that I knew when I was a child and a young adult.  She is a beautiful, kind, generous loving person.  She gives all the credit of her transformation to God.

What I want you to remember most of all is that I did not include you on this journey for the sole purpose of recounting all the bad things in my life.  I included you so that you could see that there is hope in everything and in every life.  It does not matter how long someone might live in darkness, there is always hope.  A hope that can lead us to the light.

Happy Birthday!!

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Sugar Filled Emotions turns 1 year old today!

It is hard to believe that it has been a whole year since I started this blog.  So many things have happened and changed during this last year.  I am simply amazed at how much a part of my life Sugar Filled Emotions has become.  I have come to depend on it as a way to release what is in my head.

I appreciate all of you who read Sugar Filled Emotions.  Thank you for being a part of my journey.

In honor of a whole year’s worth of blogging, I thought I would share with you the first post I ever wrote. I have come such a long way from the person who wrote that post.

Depression and Anxiety As Seen Through Glasses

The Blame Game

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Only one person is responsible for the quality of the life you live… YOU!

What is the Blame Game?  What are the benefits of engaging in it?

The Blame Game is something that we all engage in at one time or another.  We usually play it when something undesirable happens and we feel guilty or uncomfortable about the part we played in the event.  We benefit from playing this game because we find a way to blame someone else for the outcome and that action removes our responsibility.

At some point, many of us realize that the Blame Game is really not helping anyone, not even ourselves.  However, for others, seeing the immediate benefit far outweighs any long term difficulties that might arise.  As a result, they end up “playing” this game for most if not all of their lives.  In the end, blaming others becomes so ingrained into who they are, that they come to believe that they are not responsible for any of the negative things in their life. They develop a sense of entitlement.  They believe they are supposed to have an amazing life, things, and etc. and when that does not happen, it is the fault of others.

If someone has a sense of entitlement, they believe that everyone and even everything is responsible for their success.  If they are not having success, then it means that someone else or something else is responsible for their lack of happiness.  That lack of happiness can be at work, home, family, play, and etc.  They feel that loss of respect, job, dignity, relationship, loss of happiness is not their responsibility or within their control.  They fail to see the real reason why their life is not working.  Themselves.

Being responsible for yourself in any and all situations is not easy.  However, the only way to truly have a successful life is to be responsible for everything that that goes on in it.  You are the only one responsible for the successes and failures in your life, not your parents, not your spouse, not your boss, not your dog, not the weather, only you are.

There is power in taking responsibility for your own life.  By believing that you are responsible for the results, you can believe that you can be responsible for changing your life.  To be responsible for your life you must stop playing The Blame Game.  You must quit making yourself out to be the victim in every situation, and stop whining.  You need to no longer make excuses for why your life is not turning out the way you want it.  You need to give up your need to be right all the time, and also your sense of entitlement.  It is vital you give up being a victim of your past, what someone said or did to you that caused you grief.

Taking control of your life, and stopping The Blame Game means that you believe that you are the only one who can dictate the direction that your life will take.  Change your response to events and circumstances that are caused by other people (a car accident for example). By learning how to respond differently to things that are out of our control, we can change the ultimate outcome.  You can learn to not live in fear when you remember a past trauma or event.  You can learn to no longer allow someone else’s opinion or action to dictate how you view yourself or your life.

Being responsible for yourself is a freeing experience.  It means you and only you are in charge of your life.

Twitter Chats

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Did you know that there are topic specific chats on Twitter?  There are!  I have participated in a few of then  and they were terrific!

On Tuesdays at 9 pm Eastern there is a chat called Mental Health and Social Media, hash tag #mhsm.

On Thursdays, at 10 pm Eastern there is a chat for people who have a family member with a mental illness/mental health issue.  Its hash tag is #ojtl, which stands for the blog Our Journey Through Life, whose author hosts this chat.

On Thursdays, at 9 pm Eastern there is a chat for people who live with migraines.  Its hash tag is #migrainechat

The easiest way to participate in these chat is to use the TweetChat web application. It will ask you to sign in using your Twitter username and password.  After you have done that, type in the hash tag for the chat you want to participate in at the top of the page.  TweetChat will search out that hash tag on Twitter. Once it finds people using that hash tag, it will take you to a “chatroom”, and you can begin participating in the chat.

I hope to see you at one of them sometime.

Thankful Five

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Time for my Thankful Five!  My favorite part of the week.  You know, Mondays are supposed to be yucky, but doing these Thankful Fives really makes my Mondays full of awesomeness.

  • I am thankful that I got to see my son last week, even if it was only a short visit.
  • I am thankful for my dad.  For too many years I took him for granted.
  • I am thankful for having a loving family.
  • I am thankful that people really do like what I write.
  • I am thankful that Fall is just around the corner.

Tell me what YOU are thankful for!

Changes, Changes, Changes

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I know that everything must change.  I also know for the most part that change is a good thing.  However, knowing those things does not negate the fear I have when it is time for things to change.  My treatment at the treatment center I go to, is in a state of change right now.  It is creating some stress for me. Actually, I have decided that the stress is good for me.  It is not an overwhelming stress, it is more like the stress is there because I am being pushed a little bit out of my comfort zone.  Just enough that it should effect more growth in that area of my life.

The psychiatrist that I had been seeing since I began going to that treatment center recently left.  The new doctor arrives, September 16th and I have an appointment with him on that day.  I have shared that I am a little nervous about getting to know a new psychiatrist. I think I will be okay with that change once it happens.  It is not like I am going to a totally new place, it is just a new doctor coming in.

I sense a change coming with regards to my counseling.  I know that one of the big goals in therapy is to get to a point where the patient no longer relies on the therapist as much or not at all.  I know this but yet, it does not make me feel any more confident at the thought of not having my counseling sessions as often or at all.  I think it is getting close to that point.  After my awesome counseling session the other day, the counselor asked me if I thought I needed to see her individually anymore this month or only at the group sessions.  I set an appointment to take place in two weeks.  I am glad that my counselor lets me set the pace for my therapy.  I do know that it is time for me to start pushing my comfort zones again. It always happens that way, just when I get comfortable, it is time to take on some new challenges.