Gotta love sneaky kids! A couple of days ago I fell asleep on the couch. Minnie decided to join me. Anna decided that she would be sneaky and take a picture of the two of us.
Time For A Laugh
13
Monthly Archives: March 2010
Deep Breath In And Blow It Out
I really appreciate everyone’s kind words. We could not find a vet to take Rosie last night, however, my husband found a vet that would take her early this morning. I could not bear to go with him to the vet, but he stayed with Rosie until everything was over.
Now that I am more calm I can relay what happened yesterday that made it so we had to put her to sleep.
She was an old dog, 14 years old. She had been a great family dog. As big as she was she had always been good with the kids. When Anna was an infant and crawling, Rosie would stand over her and herd her through the house. She would let Anna crawl all over her and when she got tired of it she would just wander off to another place in the house. She did not bark much and was friendly with most people. The only time she seemed to get upset about people coming to the house, was if a strange man came to the house when my husband was not home. When she was younger she loved to play soccer with the kids. She loved tennis balls and would play fetch with them for hours. However, she enjoyed fetch so much that she would bring sticks, rocks, or almost anything to you for you to play fetch with her.
As she got older she developed the normal things that older dogs do. She was mostly blind and deaf. She also had pretty bad arthritis. My husband, Farrol, and I had begun having discussions on how much pain she was probably in and how we did not want her to suffer anymore. However, we never really decided on doing anything for sure.
Yesterday, our neighbor came down in his truck to pick Farrol and Anna up and take them to pick up Farrol’s new truck. Rosie has known our neighbor since he was a kid and she was a puppy. They liked it each other. It seems when our neighbor was backing up to leave, Rosie was behind his truck. Something she never has done before. We think she did not hear when he started his truck up and she was in his blind spot. When he backed up, one of his tires rolled over her back, pelvis, and her back legs. It was a horrible, horrible accident. The fact that Anna was there when it happened and for something like to happen in my own front yard, just made it worse. I have to admit that I was angry and sad last night.
I feel so bad for our neighbor, he is a young man that really cares about animals and he is very upset. My daughter has known Rosie her whole life and she is terribly upset as well. My son was the one who named her, and I have been trying to get a hold of him and let him know but I have not been able to reach him. He was six when we got her. My husband, who was never a dog person until I married him, is very upset as well.
I have spent the day mostly just goofing off. Deep breathing and using my new relaxation techniques to deal manage my stress, anger and sadness. I am feeling much better now. Has horrible as things played out, she was in pain before the accident happened, so at least now she is feeling absolutely no pain anymore.
Thanks for listening, Neighbors.
Sad News
A young Rosie with a young Anna
Our fourteen year old german shepherd has taken a sudden bad turn. We are going to have to put her to sleep. I think our town has an emergency vet, if so my husband will take her tonight. If not then he will take her first thing in the morning.
I knew this day was coming, but I am still extremely sad.
The Art Of Procrastination
I read a great blog post today, written by April Whitzman, titled Procrastinating? Click Here. She approaches the topic of procrastination from the point of view that it is a good thing if it is done correctly. She even says that procrastination can improve the quality of our lives.
On the surface, I suppose it could be very easy to totally disagree with her views about procrastination, however,April Whitzman does an excellent and humorous job in presenting her case. She actually makes a list of things she does when she is procrastinating. Here are a few highlights from her list,
Twitter: There is nothing better than reading about pointless things that celebrities have done. If you’re really into procrastinating add me and watch me be a twit! @Alleycat17
Check Facebook for updates (Warning: This can become very addictive).
Clean. You’ll be surprised how many people sweep the floors or clean their dorm rooms to avoid doing the term paper. This is a great way to procrastinate as it’s definitely more productive and of course, there’s nothing like that great feeling of seeing that floor again
I can see value in some of the ways she procrastinates, the clean one for example. While she is avoiding tackling one icky project, she works on another that she has probably been procrastinating about doing. I think it is an amazing use of time that would otherwise be wasted.
There are things you can do while you are procrastinating that will help you relax, let go of some anxiety, and attempt to relieve some stress. If you get rid of any of those things it will instantly improve your life because it would just make you feel better.
Here are some things I do when I am procrastinating:
1. I pace the house, it gets my walking in for the day.
2. I check my twitter updates and have fun posting randomness, “The pepper jack cheese tastes good on my sandwich.” You can find me on twitter @melissamashburn
3. I hate to admit it but I play Yoville and Farmville on facebook when I am procrastinating.
4. I will do the dishes. I hate doing the dishes, the only time I truly seem to motivated to do them is when I am trying to avoid doing something else.
5. I work on my blog. Not just work on a post but I start messing around with the colors, graphics and plugins.
6. I will cook something
7.To put it delicately, I enjoy some alone time with my husband.
8. I will take a nap.
9. Play with my dog
10. Now that I have some new relaxation techniques, I will be throwing them into my procrastination arsenal
I have to say, looking at procrastination in this way eliminates any guilt I was harboring about my own procrastination habit. With less guilt, comes less stress, less stress makes me a happier person. If I am careful about when I choose to procrastinate, like not doing it when I am supposed to be getting ready to go see a doctor, then I can see no reason to stop procrastinating altogether.
What do you do to procrastinate?
Have a wonderful, procrastinating day, Neighbors!
Thursday 13 – Things People Might Not Know About Me
My list for today is 13 things that people might not know about me.
1. When I was a kid, I had freckles. It seemed to me that I had a million of them.
2. I read in the bathroom.
3. I have a strange obsession for pajamas and socks.
4. My current hair color came from a box.
5. When I was first living on my own, the only thing I knew how to cook was hamburger helper.
6. I am extremely clumsy. I can trip and fall down even when I am standing in one place.
7. I like to watch Wife Swap
8. I am afraid of spiders.
9. When I was a kid I wanted to be an anthropologist when I grew up. (what normal child wants to be anthropologist when they grow up?)
10. When I was a kid I used to like to read Reader’s Digest (would a normal child do that?)
11. I snore.
12. The strangest thing I have ever eaten is a bowl full of baby eels. They sort of looked like a bowl full of spaghetti noodles.
13. Once when I was scuba diving, I encountered a mother manatee and her baby and I got to touch them.
Funny How Things Work Out
We are in desperate need of a vehicle. My husband had made plans to buy a truck from a friend for $300. It is actually a pretty decent truck for that little bit of money. It would be my husband’s vehicle because it is a stick and I do not know how to drive a stick shift. Unfortunately, his paycheck was not enough to cover buying the truck, and pay our bills too. He was very disappointed but knew there was nothing that could be done about it.
On his way home he stopped at his usual gas station and bought his usual scratch off lottery tickets. He buys them once a week and he never buy more than three or four. He usually just buys the lottery tickets that cost one or two dollars. I guess he was feeling so rotten that he decided to splurge and get himself a $5 scratch off lottery ticket. He won $500 off of that $5 lottery ticket. He was so excited. He used part of that money to get the truck, and then we used the rest for groceries. I was excited about going to the grocery store and not having to pay attention to the budget as much as I usually have to.
It is funny how things work out in the most unexpected ways sometimes.
I Love My Neighbors!
Not Exactly What I Wanted To Hear
Last week’s counseling session went pretty well. I was able to discuss something that had been on my mind for a couple of weeks. At the end of the session, my counselor said something that I thought was really good. She told me that if I were to walk into her office now, she would diagnose me with mild depression. She did also say we could not change my diagnosis at this point since I first started seeing her when my depression was so severe and I still need the extra care that someone with clinical depression needs. However, I did take what she said about my depression at this stage as a positive thing. I can see and feel that I am better than I was, but it sure is nice to have my counselor validate what I am feeling.
Yesterday it was time for me to see my psychiatrist for my regular medication check. I had question for him about my medications. When I was in the hospital for my asthma, my medication doses were not changed but instead of taking 150 m of effexor in the morning, the hospital had me take it 75 m at a time, once in the morning and once at night. With my welbutrin, they had me take 150 m in the morning rather than 75 m, morning and night. I asked him if changing how I took them for that length of time would make any difference in how they worked. He asked me if I had any symptoms come up during that time and they had not. So he said in his opinion changing them the way the hospital did was not detrimental to me at all.
I also told him I was back to almost no sleep at night and it was wearing me out. I asked if it was time for me to start taking something to help me sleep.
The answer he gave me was not exactly what I wanted to hear. The psychiatrist said that he could detect a great deal of anxiety in my voice and he thought that I was experiencing some extra anxiety that was making it difficult for me to sleep. He went on to say that he thought part of my anxiety was coming from me stressing about my medication. That I had gotten myself worried about things that were actually nothing to worry about. I know last week my mother said something about me getting “wound up” over making sure I had plenty of mirapex for my restless leg syndrome. He actually wrote in my chart that he felt I was moderately anxious. He said he wanted me to have my counselor teach me some more coping skills for anxiety and he felt that would be more helpful than prescribing anymore medication.
I guess he wants to keep an eye on me while I work through this anxiety episode, because instead of having to wait three months to see him again, like I had been doing, he wants to see me in four weeks.
I saw my counselor today, so I did not have to wait long before I could get her to teach me some more anxiety coping skills. The counselor did remind me that she had told me a number of months ago that I would experience some break through symptoms at some point. The time for that to happen seems to be now.
The counselor told me she thought I was handling it very good compared to how I would have last year. She also told me to not be hard on myself since I did not realize what was going on until the psychiatrist told me, and that if it had been given a few more days I would start to realize what was going on because the symptoms would be much more pronounced.
I am using my support system and using the people in my life who are the most helpful and trusting them to let me know when they think I am not doing as well as I could be.
The counselor also reminded me that learning about my emotions is probably the hardest part of my recovery process to date.
I will definitely have to manage my anxiety a bit better. I think the relaxation techniques my counselor will be helpful. I just have to remember to use them when I feel that anxious feeling.
Have a great evening Neighbors!
The Queens Tuesday Meme – March 10, 2010
The Never Should Meme
Brought to you from the sunny beaches of Somewhere whilst on vacation.
I actually believe that if “shoulds” and “nevers” were banned from the English language we’d all be better off. Who needs to live in absolutes? Should evokes unnecessary and unhealthy guilt.
Never is never enough no matter what you should be doing. Not ever! See? But in this fill-in-the-blank exercise you can be as dogmatic and brutal as you dare.
After today’s meme, lose the words.
Seriously.
You should.
Oh, never mind.
1. If I never see _hospital turnip greens_again it will be too soon.
2. Should I meet my Maker tomorrow, I would ask for one more day on earth to write letters to those i I love.
3. Never in my life have I __watched the rain__like I did today.
4. I should always allow more time to __talk to my daughter_.
5. I should’ve never listened to _Mr. Rogers__ while under the influence of _cold medicine.
6. I never _breakdown _in my car but I should always carry __flashlight_with me just in case.
7. I should spend more money on _my computer__ because it makes me happy. I should spend less money on _bills_because it makes me sad.
8. _Secrets__ should never be shared with strangers.
9. I should tell _a certain person_that I never really meant to _hurt their feeligns.
10. Never in a million years would I want you to know __I am not saying.
Random Dozen – March 10, 2010
Definition of plink: “Plinking refers to informal target shooting done at non-traditional targets such as tin cans, glass bottles, and balloons filled with water.” Plinko is also a carnival game we play at Oneighty, but pot-luck shots fits this meme better, I think.
So here are your random plinko questions lined up in a row just like tin cans:
1. How old is the oldest pair of shoes in your closet?
I would say about 15 or 16 years
2. Did you buy Girl Scout cookies this year? If so, what variety?
No I did not buy any this year
3. Do you know how to ballroom dance? If not, would you like to?
No Ido not know a ballroom dance, but I would like to learn one at least, It looked like it was fun.
4. Were you a responsible child/teenager?
not really
5. How many of this year’s Oscar-nominated movies did you see?
I am not sure. I usually wait until movies come out on DVD and I never pay attention to what awards are won by either the movie or actors.
6. If you’re going to have a medical procedure done, such as having blood drawn, is it easier for you to watch someone else having the procedure done or have it done yourself?
watch. I am a very bad stick when it comes to blood being drawn and IV’s.
7. What is your favorite day of the week and why?
I think I like Wednesday the best. It sort of represents a half way point.
8. Do you miss anyone right now?
yes
9. Do hospitals make you queasy?
nope
10. At which store would you like to max-out your credit card. Not that you ever would, you responsible person, you.
any clothing store would do
11. Are you true to the brand names of products/items?
Most of the time no.
12. Which is more difficult: looking into someone’s eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone’s eyes when he/she is telling you how he/she feels?
looking into their eyes when they are telling me how they feel.
Managing Not Dealing
Something was pointed out to me today. When I heard this I did a mental double take. Then I realized the truth in the statement.
Managing our issues is so much better than just dealing with them.
Dealing with them implies that in some way an issue has defeated us or is in control. Managing implies that we are not letting an issue be in control. One word discounts our efforts in resolving an issue, the other acknowledges our efforts and allows for us to keep trying.
I think this is a very important statement for anyone. Mental illness or not, we all have issues. We all want some sort of resolution to our issues. Often when no resolution is obtained, we become frustrated. We develop a defeatist attitude and often just decide to “deal” with it. Dealing with it, in my opinion, means that we have come to accept the issue, and its control over us, without putting anymore effort into resolving it. When we have reached a sort of acceptance of an issue and its control of us, and decide to just “deal” with it, we often view ourselves and our efforts in resolution as failures.
I think managing an issue allows us to see it from a more positive perspective. Even in our lack of resolution, managing our issues keeps them from controlling us. We do not see a lack of resolution as failure. We see it as an opportunity to try again. We can look at our previous efforts and acknowledge that even efforts that did not bring about resolution are valuable. Every effort to bring about resolution will effect some sort of change.
I am sure that some people could argue that this is just a question of semantics. Manage and deal have similar definitions. However similar is not the same. When I looked at the definitions for both of the words, manage had more success oriented words than deal had. The definition for manage had words like direct, control, and to succeed. The definition for deal had words like to take action, and to behave in a certain way.
Do you think that changing just one word, deal to manage, really makes a difference in our efforts to resolve issues and maintain a positive attitude? Or do you think that both words are similar enough that it does not make a difference?
Are there instances you can think of where changing just one word in how you thought or spoke about something changed your whole perspective in how you viewed the issue or situation?
Food for thought, Neighbors!