I was inspired by several mental health activists who use art as a way to express their thoughts about what it is like living with a mental health issue. However, my artistic abilities never graduated beyond stick figures. What I decided to do was combine the art that I could do with my ability to make short videos.
The following is a result of that combination:
Taking the time to keep track of the things I am thankful for has been such a good reminder of how much I am blessed. I challenge you to keep track of the things that you are thankful for.
WEGO Health’s Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge prompt for April 10th was:
Post Secret. You know the beloved post secret community? Write down a secret that really isn’t a secret. Hint: A misconception about your condition, something people would think you’d be shy to disclose (but will!), or just something you want to shout from the rooftops!
I realize I am several days late in writing this, but it has been rather hard to figure out which secret I wanted to reveal.
It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes; it takes more grit and gumption to forgive them for having witnessed your own. ~ Jessamyn West
Verbal jousting – otherwise known as ” I am right, you are wrong, and I am going to keep this ‘discussion’ going until you concede that I am right, or you give up” syndrome – is something that I used to engage in frequently. I enjoyed it immensely, and I was very extremely awesomely good at it.
I used to look for targets victims, and felt a surge of adrenaline when I could bait them into a verbal jousting match. It did not really matter if I was really right, as long as I could convince them I was. I enjoyed the challenge, and strategy involved. Before the conversation even started I would be ready with several sentences, words, and phrases, that – when carefully used – would guarantee victory – often at the cost of someone else’s self esteem. To put it plainly, I was a bully.
I also had a case of last-worditis. Basically that means that not only did I have to be right, I also had to have the last word – a Zinger. When it came to verbal jousting I was pretty quick on my feet, and I could have a whole list of Zingers to choose from within seconds.
Oh it gets worse…
I taught these skills to my children – who took to it like ducks to water, especially my son.
Obviously, when I became severely depressed I did not even have the desire or energy to participate in these bad behaviors. Fortunately, once I became mentally healthier I could identify why I chose to act this way – it made me feel better about myself – and make different choices.. However, the consequences of my past need to always be right, and have the last word are very heavy.
I think the worst consequences are as a result of teaching my children how to Verbally Joust. When I see them engage in these behaviors I feel very sad that I was the one who taught them how to do it. It is not a healthy way for them to gain self esteem. To be quite frank, in recent months they have delighted in behaving this way towards me. It hurts, and I know what they are doing. I can only imagine the pain they cause others who cannot identify why they’re being bullied.
The true nature of what I taught my children recently dawned on me. In a text conversation with my son, in which I was trying to explain to him how hurtful it was that he never took the time to call his grandmother regarding his grandfather’s – her husband – death, he was more intent on trying to be right, and having the last word, then actually hearing what I was trying to say. In fact, it was so important to him that at one point he took the time to let me know I had misspelled a word. With my daughter, these behaviors are less subtle. To obtain the last word – in a recent conversation – she began to use very inappropriate language. After letting her know that I would not talk to her while she was speaking to me that way – and hanging up – she chose to send me a text message full of obscenities. While I do wholeheartedly admit my role in teaching them Verbal Jousting, both of my children are old enough to make the choice to not behave in this manner.
I hope my children learn how to interact with others without Verbal Jousting and last-worditis. They are never really going to be truly happy with themselves until they do. Building your self esteem on how you can tear others down is a very shaky thing, and you almost always come tumbling down.
I still very much enjoy conversations where I can be right, however, nowadays they more closely resemble a healthy debate. In fact, whenever possible, I try to remember to ask the person on the receiving end if we can engage in a healthy debate. As far as my last-worditis goes, if I really MUST have the last word, I attempt to make sure it is a positive one.
Before I began depression treatment the words I used out loud in my mind were peppered with negativity. At that time I did not realize the power that words could have on a person’s mood, attitude, and outlook on life. Depression treatment has taught me to be mindful of the words I use. Creating this list of positive words for each letter of the alphabet has been a terrific way for me to build up a positive word bank. My life is very different now. I see a future laid out before me that will be filled with much joy. I know there will be sorrows, however, I think the joy will outweigh those.
Feel free to use anything you see on this list on your blog – or even create your own list of positive words.
Workable – This word makes me feel positively happy, because I have learned even the most difficult of circumstances are workable. Meaning, if I can remember my tools, and ask for help when I need it, then I can find a way to work through almost everything. In the past, instead of seeing things as workable I would quickly become overwhelmed, full of anxiety, and paralyzed. It is a much better feeling to find my way through a difficult circumstance then to become so overwhelmed that I can’t function.
I am now on my third set of positive words – going in alphabetical order. I get just as much out of them now as I did when I began this series.
Before I began depression treatment the words I used out loud, and in my mind were peppered with negativity. At that time, I did not realize the power that words can have on a person’s mood, attitude, and outlook on life. Depression treatment has taught me to be mindful of the words I use. Creating this list of positive words for each letter of the alphabet has been a terrific way for me to build up a positive word bank. My life is very different now. I see a future laid out before me that will be filled with much joy. I know there will be sorrows, however, I think the joy will outweigh those.
Feel free to use anything you see on this list on your blog – or even create your own list of positive words.
Valid – This word makes me feel positively happy, because I now realize my emotions are valid – normal you could say. One of the most difficult things for me to learn/figure out in depression treatment has been if my emotional response to something is valid, or if it is skewed to the extreme by depression symptoms. It feels good to be able to identify a particular set of emotions as valid for the circumstance or situation.
Is there anyone you owe an apology to? Have you been neglectful in saying thank you to someone? Have you let some one know how much you appreciate them? I think it would be safe to say that almost all of us have failed to give an apology, forgotten to say thank you, and not told somebody how much we appreciated them. It happens with our families, coworkers, friends, and people we don’t know but interact with on a daily basis.
It often hurts and/or disappoints us when others fail to express their appreciation for a sacrifice we have made or service we have given. Guess what? We often hurt and/or disappoint others for the same reasons.
Most of us are very good at expressing our disapproval verbally and physically, but for some reason we often fail to share words of encouragement and appreciation. We have plenty of excuses for why we didn’t – there was not enough time, we forgot, we just did know what to say.
I have learned a couple if things about giving an apology, saying thank you, and expressing appreciation:
1. It only takes 30 seconds.
2. As long as you mean what you say, it does not matter how pretty it sounds.
Some examples:
Thank you. I know this was a sacrifice of your time, your emotion, and your finances.
I appreciate you. You have really gone out of your way to support me.
I apologize. Sometimes I get too busy and caught up in my own stuff that I am inconsiderate of others. I’m sorry.
Life is short. We have a very limited amount of time to say the important things. The words we let go unsaid, are often the ones that hurt is the most.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. ~ Samuel Johnson
Life is not fair, and people do and say things that hurt our feelings. Right or wrong, fair or unfair, kind or mean this is just the way the world is. I believe how we react to these things has a huge impact on our outlook on life.
I have to admit, it has been a struggle for most of my life to move past hurt feelings, and a sense of having received the short end of the stick in life. I spent days, weeks, months, and years dwelling about the many wrongs that happened to me. In my mind, my imagination created elaborate scenarios of revenge. I ranted and raved about the unfairness of life, and how other people had it better than I did. I wanted what they had, not because I had done anything to earn it, but just because I wanted it. I was so angry, and bitter all the time.
I think I was a very self absorbed person. I spent a lot of a time concentrating on my wants, my needs, and my feelings. I did have the rare moment when I thought of someone other than myself, but unfortunately it did not happen often. I was not mean -most of the time -I was just very inconsiderate of others. In some ways, this basic selfishness I felt became worse when I started experiencing severe depression symptoms. I say this because all I could think about was me. Depression treatment has been very effective at teaching me better social skills, including how to be considerate of others.
From my own experiences, I have come to believe many people are afflicted with attitudes of selfishness, and self absorption. From what I can tell, those people are usually bitter, angry, and often lack control over the things they say and do. At least I know I was. They are not bad people -myself included – but when you are concentrating that much on yourself, if it is very difficult to understand the impact you have on others -from family members, to total strangers.
It is unfortunate – there are days where wish I could do things differently – that the worst of my self absorbed and selfish behavior took place during the time I was raising children. They have memories of a mother who did not pay as much attention to their needs and wants as I should have. Not to mention, the way they are acting now is the very same behavior I modeled for them. However, that is not who I am now.
I have learned that everyday I make a mark on someone’s life. It is either a positive or negative mark -nothing is neutral. In my opinion, it does not matter whether I know someone in real life, or only on the Internet, I still have the ability to make a mark on his or her life.
When I am interacting with others, I try to keep a few things in mind:
Did I inspire or motivate?
Did I leave someone more confident than when I found him or her?
Did I extend generosity or kindness or mercy?
Did I make someone laugh?
Did I leave someone with hope?
I know that every time I interact with someone I am leaving something behind. My hope is to leave something positive behind. What do you leave?
I recorded some thoughts I had – while writing this post. I hope you take the time to listen.
I am now on my third set of positive words – going in alphabetical order. I get just as much out of them now as I did when I began this series.
Before I began depression treatment the words I used out loud, and in my mind were peppered with negativity. At that time, I did not realize the power that words can have on a person’s mood, attitude, and outlook on life. Depression treatment has taught me to be mindful of the words I use. Creating this list of positive words for each letter of the alphabet has been a terrific way for me to build up a positive word bank. My life is very different now. I see a future laid out before me that will be filled with much joy. I know there will be sorrows, however, I think the joy will outweigh those.
Feel free to use anything you see on this list on your blog – or even create your own list of positive words.
Upbeat – This word makes me feel positively happy because being upbeat is all about maintaining a positive attitude. I know that if I can remain upbeat -stay positive – then the curveballs that life throws me will not be so difficult for me to manage.
I am now on my third set of positive words – going in alphabetical order. I get just as much out of them now as I did when I began this series.
Before I began depression treatment the words I used out loud, and in my mind were peppered with negativity. At that time, I did not realize the power that words can have on a person’s mood, attitude, and outlook on life. Depression treatment has taught me to be mindful of the words I use. Creating this list of positive words for each letter of the alphabet has been a terrific way for me to build up a positive word bank. My life is very different now. I see a future laid out before me that will be filled with much joy. I know there will be sorrows, however, I think the joy will outweigh those.
Feel free to use anything you see on this list on your blog – or even create your own list of positive words.
Try -This word makes me feel positively happy, because to try means I am not giving up. I have given up before, and it is a sad and lonely place to be. I realize now I do not have to feel that way, and for me the simplest answer is to try.
It’s is day 9 of WEGO Health’s Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge. Today’s writing prompt is:
Health Activist Choice! Write about what ever you want today.
I thought that this would be a great time to express how much I have enjoyed participating in the Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge. It has been the inspiration that I have been lacking in writing for several months now. My personal life has been so dramatic for several months that it has been difficult to concentrate on writing blog posts. I do not think I was experiencing any kind of burnout, I just think I was feeling overwhelmed with everything going on -especially dad passing away.
The inspiration provided by this challenge has given me the shot in the arm that I needed. Not only has it been very inspiring working with the prompts, it has also stretched my writing skills and imagination more than they have been a long while. The prompts have also made it so I’ve been able to refocus my brain, and get back to enjoying my blog the way I used to.
My plan is to stay this inspired, and attempt to get a little more creative with my writing.