Last night, I had a room full of visitors who had shown up to keep me company for a little while. It was nice, I had my own personal cheering up crew consisting of some of my favorite people, my younger brother, my husband, my daughter, my four year old niece, and my mom. My visitors were not a rowdy bunch but they certainly have an issue with using “inside voices” at times, so my room was filled with a low but constant rumble with the occasional high pitched giggle from my brother.
Of course being who they are they had to make fun of the “tasty” hospital meal I had eaten a while before some of my visitors had arrived. Then they proceed to tell me about the wonderful things they had eaten that day. My husband and daughter told me about the great bacon, egg and cheese biscuits they had to eat that morning, knowing full well I enjoy breakfast food. My brother told me about going to “Moes”, I think he may have gotten some burrito called the Home Wrecker. Even my four year old niece joined in the teasing, she told me about her “little wagon” taco she got at “Moes” and how good it was. My mother’s torture was a little more subtle, she took the girls for a “walk” down the hall and my niece came back with a bag of M&M’s in her hand. I am sure her Grandmother procured them for her.
Now added to the low rumble in my room was the sound of an M&M bag rattling as my niece ate her treasured chocolate. Shortly after the smell of the M&M’s wafted towards my nose, the sounds of my not so quiet tummy grumbling with hunger added a little volume to the low rumble in my room. Steroids make me very hungry, and because of having to make sure my blood sugar does not get too high I am being very limited on what I can eat. As a result I never feel like I have eaten enough. The crunch sound of my niece chewing her M&M’s and the smell of chocolate filling my room, became tortuous.
(Side note: because I am an insulin dependent diabetic they have been given me a snack bag to have during the night. I fell asleep before I ate mine last night and it is a while until breakfast. I am going to go get it now. Food! Food! Food!)
(Oh My! Who would have ever thought that four saltine crackers, a slice of cheese and a little thing of applesauce could taste so good?)
After much contemplation, I have decided that there are two questions that every nurse is duty bound to ask when they are making their rounds. The first one is about how much you have urinated and the second, the one that seems the most important is “Have you had a bowel movement?”
My nurse happened to do her rounds last night when my visitors were still here. The low rumblings, grumblings, and giggles (from my brother) were still going on, fortunately by this time the M&M’s had been consumed. The nurse was very professional and ignored my visitors and did her assessment of me. Then…..then it happened.
In a low voice, that no normal person beyond my bed should have been able to hear she asked “THE QUESTION”.
Nurse: “Mrs. Mashburn, have you had a bowel movement”
The second the question came out of her mouth, my whole room became silent, absolutely silent. Not a rattle of paper, not one giggle, not one whisper could be heard. I looked over at my family, trying to think of a way to not answer the question and save some dignity and I saw five pairs of eyes staring at me, excitedly waiting for my answer.
I tried to whisper a very faint “yes” to the nurse, but I believe my family had their “listening ears” on. As soon as the word “yes” left my lips, there was a round of applause in my room. Yes, my family was cheering over my bowel movement.
I suppose I should be thankful that they did not give me a standing ovation…..
Have a good morning, Neighbors!
