Category Archives: Family

A Family Thing

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I believe that depression is a family disease. It not only has devastating effects on the person who is ill, it also harms family members. Children lose a parent. Husbands lose their wives. Parents lose their children. Family members are often left feeling abandoned, sad, confused and helpless.

In my family, my daughter is probably the one who has been most affected by my depression. She was around nine or ten when my depression manifested itself to such a degree that I could barely function. I rarely left the bed, and when I did, I was either very cranky or very sad. To my daughter it seemed as if she no longer had a mother to take care of her, play with her, and comfort her. Instead she had a blob.

My husband worked a lot. That meant my daughter had to spend a great deal of time at home, taking care of herself. Too often she had to prepare her own meals, do her own laundry, and take on several household chores. There was too much responsibility placed on her very young shoulders.

All my daughter wanted was a mother to love her and hug her. I was not capable of doing that. She began to believe that I was rejecting her. My daughter felt as if I had abandoned her and no longer cared about her. She thought I no longer wanted her to be around me. To some degree my daughter was correct. I did not want anyone around me.

With her feelings of rejection and abandonment, my daughter became very angry with me. Because of my own lack of self worth and self respect, she lost respect for me. I was too tired from the depression to even bother with discipline, so she became a bit unruly. The blob that I was took no notice of any of this.

After I had managed to reach some sort of even keel in my depression recovery, I began to notice her anger, disrespect and lack of discipline. I tried to be a mom again. I failed miserably. Every time I asked her to do something, or correct her behavior it turned into a huge battle. You could see the anger she had for me oozing out at those times. The amount of disrespect she showed me was heart breaking. It felt as if I had lost my daughter forever.

In time I realized that my daughter’s anger and disrespect was her way of protecting herself from me. If she could distance herself from me, then the next time I went away and became a blob, it would not cause her as much pain. She knew she could trust those emotions to protect her. What she could not trust was me.

I knew that if I did not earn her trust back, she would very likely carry those hostile emotions with her for a very long time. They would affect her and her relationships far into the future. It became my priority to show her she could trust me. I spent a great deal of time talking with her and explaining my illness to her. It seemed important to me to help her understand that I had a disease, just like my asthma and diabetes were diseases. I made sure she saw me taking my medicine and went to every one of my therapy appointments. I wanted her to know that I was doing everything I could to manage my disease.

My depression led me to be a very cranky and not nice person, and when I spoke to people you could hear it in my voice. More importantly my daughter could hear it in my voice. So I changed how I spoke to her. I used a lower tone and always tried to sound interested and patient with her. I changed how I disciplined her. She was no longer nine or ten, she was a thirteen year old young woman. She had become older and more mature during the time I was a blob. She needed to be treated that way.

As I continued with my recovery process and my mind became more clear, I was able to pay more attention to my daughter’s emotional needs. Slowly, I started seeing her anger seep away, and I could see that she was becoming less stressed. She started speaking to me respectfully again. We could joke around with each other and we began to forge a bond.

My time with her recently has been beyond wonderful. We do girly things together, fixing each other’s hair, giving each other fashion advice (her sense of fashion is much better than mine) and sharing reading material. It seems as if she genuinely enjoys spending time with me. I know I enjoy spending time with her, even when she is doing her best to make me nutty.

My Husband's Dark Secret

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My husband is a big, burly man. He works for a logging company and is as testosterone filled as they come. The way he is built is often intimidating to some. Most of the time though he is a big teddy bear, which makes him quite the push over.

Last night we decided to get a quick bite to eat in town. We chose Taco Bell, some place we do not eat at very often. We almost did not eat there because when we pulled up it was a bit crowded on the inside, and my husband thought I might get anxious. However, my anxiety was not bothering me and I told him it would be find to eat there.

We had fun, cutting up, laughing, joking and just being goofing. After we had eaten, we headed back home. The pleasant moods we were all on continued. I took  Farrol (my husband) and Anna by complete surprise when I participated in their slug bug no punch backs game.

Shortly after I had gotten the last slug bug, some music came on the radio. I did not recognize it, however, my husband must have because he turned the sound up on the radio before the singing even began. It turns out it was a Justin Bieber song. Justin Bieber is my daughter’s current favorite singer. I believe she has a secret crush on him.

After my husband turned the sound up, he remarked that the song was a good one and started to sing along. I was completely surprised by what I heard. The big burly man can hit the high notes, he was right on key with Justin Bieber. What happened next was so astounding, that I did not believe I heard him correctly when he first said it.

Farrol asked Anna if he should do the moves. She said yes, and the next thing I know, while he is driving, my husband is doing all the typical boy band moves. His moves were perfect, his singing was great. He was very entertaining.

It turns out that his deep dark secret is that he has had a desire to be in a boy band for years now. Unfortunately with his big burly build and his furry chest, he just does not fit the boy band image. However, despite that little detail, it seems he practices in the truck when he and Anna are out and about.

Now in my head I have this picture of my husband driving around town, listening to Justin Bieber and boy bands, singing his burly heart out and dancing with his boy band moves.


My burly, boy band singing, man.

He Would Say We Were Sight Seeing

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After the last few days of feeling down because of what has been happening here, I decided that today I would try and think of some funny memories to share. It is interesting, but the only memories I could think of were about things to do with my dad.

Ever since I can remember,  my dad has sort of marched to the beat of his own drummer.  Even in stories he has told me about  his younger days he did his own thing.  In one story he told me, he talked about how he and his cousin (I think) bought a car for $50, drove across country (starting in Kentucky), got to Texas and joined the Air Force.  His favorite college football team to watch is Kentucky.  Every year he tell us how good he thinks they will do during football  season.  He had us watch so much three stooges on TV when we were growing up, that I can believe there is some educational value in Larry’s eye poke.

The whole time I was growing up my dad always worked a lot.  Several times, he would work in one state and we would live in another and often we only saw in on the weekends.  It was important to him that his family was taken care of so he worked very hard, and still does. With the type of work he did, he had to travel quite a bit, and many times we were able to go with him.  Thanks to him I have had the opportunity to see many countries in the world and many places in the United States.

All that traveling did require us to go to many places that we were not familiar with.  Dad always made sure that we had maps.  The thing was though, I cannot recall dad actually using those maps very often or even asking for directions.  So it was a common occurrence for us to end up in unexpected places.  Dad always refused to say we were lost.  He would say we were “sight seeing”.  I remember going sight seeing a whole  lot when I was a kid.

One of my most vivid memories of when we lived in Spain, was the summer my cousin came to visit.  My parents thought it would be good for all of us to visit several different countries.  I am not sure why, maybe it was cheaper than staying in hotels, or he thought it would be more fun for us kids, but my dad decided it would be a good idea for us to borrow someone’s tent and camp in the various countries we were visiting.  I do not recall any problems with our camping trip until we got to Germany.   One of my parents had made sure that everyone had air mattresses to sleep on.  Which turned out to be a good thing.  When we got to the camp ground in Germany, and after we had the tent all set up, it began to rain.  A very heavy rain.  A very, very heavy rain.  When we woke up the next morning, our air mattresses were floating in the rain water that had collected in our tent.  That is when I got to find out what a hostel was like.

We continued making our way through different parts of Europe, heading toward Switzerland, where my cousin would catch his plane back to the States.

After we dropped my cousin off at the airport in Switzerland, it was time for us to start heading back to where we lived in Spain.  It seems my dad was supposed to make hotel reservations for us in France, around the area of the French Riviera, but for whatever reason it did not happen.  We still got to spend the night on the French Riviera….in the car.

During the time that my Dad’s job allowed us to live in Spain, I got see real castles, meet bull fighters, and see famous artwork.  I will always remember what my dad said about  Rodin’s famous sculpture The Thinker.   It is describe as depicting “a man in somber meditation, battling with a powerful inner struggle”.  My dad’s description was much shorter.  He said it looked like a man “sitting on the toilet”.

After we moved back to the States, we lived in Marietta, Georgia.  We actually lived there for several years.  Dad would work a lot like he had always done, and often we just saw him on the weekends.   As my brother and I hit our teen years, it became important to dad for us to do things as a family now and then.  One of his favorite things to do was to get up on a Sunday morning and tell us we had about 15 minutes to get ready, and then we would be leaving to have breakfast at some little diner he had found. The problem with only giving us 15 minutes was that we lived in the 80’s.  The era of big hair and loads of make up.  There was no way I could get my fine, straight hair to be big, in that amount of time.  Since I was a teenager at the time, there was no way I was willing to walk out of the house without my big hair and make up on. My dad was a brave man to risk the temper of a teen aged girl so that he could make sure that at least once in a while the whole family was together.

Despite my insistence on achieving the appropriate sized hair, I think dad insisting that we all go have breakfast together as a family turned out to be a good thing.  I look back on those breakfasts and think that it is very nice that I have memories of all of us being together and enjoying each other’s  company.

My dad is a hero.  I mean a real life hero.  Once when we were all snorkeling I accidentally caused a major panic in the family by screaming into my snorkel.  I screamed because there were all these sting rays on the bottom of the ocean, underneath the boat we needed to get on.  I have a fear of scuba diving where I cannot see the bottom of where I am diving.  So my panic was more about the fact that the sting rays were covering the bottom of where I needed to swim than it was about the sting rays.  That did not change the fact though that my screaming into my snorkel caused my mother, brother and myself to all jump on my dad’s back at the same time.  Unfortunately for dad, this meant he was on the bottom of the pile, in the ocean. He was great though.  Somehow he managed to keep from drowning with all of us on his back and got us to calm down so we would remove ourselves from our place in the pile.

After I had my son, and I was going to college, there were times when my dad had to babysit.  He was awesome at it.  He always insisted that he would not change diapers, but I know he changed a stinky diaper on more than one occasion.  If my son was in his crib sleeping, my dad had an odd but effective way of checking on him. He would shake the crib a bit until my son moved and then my dad would know everything was OK.

As he has gotten older, dad has developed his own unique clothing style.  He is a trend setter in the grandparent set.  Many of his generation attempt to mimic his clothing style.  I like to call the style “Parental Revenge”.  His style consists of black shoes with white socks, baggy shorts that come down to his knees, a pair of suspenders,  a button up shirt, and sometimes a fanny pack . I have no proof but I suspect he makes a point of wearing this outfit around me and my brother because he knows it slightly embarrasses us.    It is his his way of making up for all the times we embarrassed him in public when we were kids.

Without his meaning to my dad has given me so many good memories.  Memories that make me smile.  I am thankful for that.  They will be something that I will always cherish.  I feel blessed that my dad is still around to add to my memory collection.

What are some of your favorite memories?

Things I Have Learned While Hanging With Grandma

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Staying at Grandma’s house means a little extra hang time with her. It has been rather amusing and educational all at the same time. I thought I would share a few things that I have learned while hanging with grandma.

1. I learned that Grandma enjoys game shows, especially, “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader” She says she learns something from them every time she watches them.

During the “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader” episode yesterday afternoon, “Mama” from “Mama’s Family” was on. Unfortunately, “Mama” had to say something that has forever ruined “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader” for me. She looked in the camera and said, “I may be older than your Grandma’s underwear, but I am not smarter than a fifth grader.”

2.  The blue and white bowl in this picture belonged to my great-grandmother, who gave it to my grandmother, and my grandmother used it for many years to make biscuits in.  Grandma said she believes that it used to belong to her own grandmother at one time.

3.  The blue pitcher in the picture is another item that my grandmother said used to belong to her own grandparents. 

My grandmother got the pitcher when my great-grandmother brought her some flowers in it after my mother was born.

4.  I learned that when my mother was four years old my grandparents owned a TV.  My mother used to like to lay on the floor and watch Lawrence Welk.  Until he had Elvis on his show.  When my mother saw Elvis gyrating on stage she said something to the effect “If this is how he is going to be, I am not watching him!”

5..  I learned that this is actually carnival glass, not depression glass, and is supposed to be more valuable.

6.  This is a depression glass candy dish.  Grandma said I could have it when she died.  I remember her always keeping some kind of peppermint candy in it.

7.  I learned that Grandma can spend ten minutes trying to decide what kind of toilet paper she would like to buy.

At the grocery store yesterday, we had a great debate over what type of toilet paper was the best.  We also discussed why a “strong” toilet paper cannot be “soft” at the same time.  I told her what kind a septic tank guy recommended to me.  She picked something else out.  When I casually said “My butt won’t be the same now”, Grandma came back with a very quick “tough shit”, and we all laughed like crazy in the toilet paper aisle.

8.  I learned that I am the cutest grandchild ever.  Look at me!

 9.  I learned that Grandma wants my mom to put this LLadro piece (the dog) on ebay and sell it for $1000.

10.  I learned that it does not matter what context it is used in, hearing Grandma say the word penis is so very very wrong on so many levels.

 Have a great day, Neighbors!!

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Things I Have Learned While Hanging With Grandma

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Staying at Grandma’s house means a little extra hang time with her. It has been rather amusing and educational all at the same time. I thought I would share a few things that I have learned while hanging with grandma.

1. I learned that Grandma enjoys game shows, especially, “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader” She says she learns something from them every time she watches them.

During the “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader” episode yesterday afternoon, “Mama” from “Mama’s Family” was on. Unfortunately, “Mama” had to say something that has forever ruined “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader” for me. She looked in the camera and said, “I may be older than your Grandma’s underwear, but I am not smarter than a fifth grader.”

2.  The blue and white bowl in this picture belonged to my great-grandmother, who gave it to my grandmother, and my grandmother used it for many years to make biscuits in.  Grandma said she believes that it used to belong to her own grandmother at one time.

3.  The blue pitcher in the picture is another item that my grandmother said used to belong to her own grandparents. 

My grandmother got the pitcher when my great-grandmother brought her some flowers in it after my mother was born.

4.  I learned that when my mother was four years old my grandparents owned a TV.  My mother used to like to lay on the floor and watch Lawrence Welk.  Until he had Elvis on his show.  When my mother saw Elvis gyrating on stage she said something to the effect “If this is how he is going to be, I am not watching him!”

5..  I learned that this is actually carnival glass, not depression glass, and is supposed to be more valuable.

6.  This is a depression glass candy dish.  Grandma said I could have it when she died.  I remember her always keeping some kind of peppermint candy in it.

7.  I learned that Grandma can spend ten minutes trying to decide what kind of toilet paper she would like to buy.

At the grocery store yesterday, we had a great debate over what type of toilet paper was the best.  We also discussed why a “strong” toilet paper cannot be “soft” at the same time.  I told her what kind a septic tank guy recommended to me.  She picked something else out.  When I casually said “My butt won’t be the same now”, Grandma came back with a very quick “tough shit”, and we all laughed like crazy in the toilet paper aisle.

8.  I learned that I am the cutest grandchild ever.  Look at me!

 9.  I learned that Grandma wants my mom to put this LLadro piece (the dog) on ebay and sell it for $1000.

10.  I learned that it does not matter what context it is used in, hearing Grandma say the word penis is so very very wrong on so many levels.

 Have a great day, Neighbors!!

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Unlikely Time Capsule

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I woke up this morning around three or so. I decided to take advantage of the quiet and claim the recliner and the TV. I even managed to fix a quiet breakfast. I am sure at several times I dozed off, full belly, toes all warm, and a comfortable resting place will do that.

The recliner has an interesting view of a significant portion of my grandmother’s house. If you are sitting in it you can look straight ahead and see from the living room into one of the bedrooms. The pathway is marked by a tidy, but extensive knick knack collection. In my half asleep daze this morning, I remember staring at it and thinking, “Good thing I do not have to keep all those things clean.”

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Every once in a while, I can remember focusing on an object or two and thinking “Hey! I remember that from when I was a kid.” or “Awww she framed a picture my son colored.” Even the room that is considered my mother’s room when she is in town, has a puzzle that my daughter did and then glued together.

Still, I am thinking, “too much stuff to keep clean”.

After a while I headed back to the room I am using and took my robe off and laid it on top of the most convenient thing. Immediately, I heard a little voice say “What can we build together?” It was Elmo from the little tool bench my parents had bought my niece. It is kept here so she has something of her own to play with.

Elmo’s voice prompted me to look around the room. Along one wall there are toys that are nicely stacked. Three generations of children have contributed to that pile. Turning around, I can see the wardrobe my grandparents used from the time I could remember. On the floor next to the bed I can see my father’s very modern books.

Tucked all over the house are little bits of stuff, an old butter churn, a black iron dutch oven, a hunting horn actually made from a bull’s horn. Things that used to belong to my grandmother’s mother and father, and even one or two things that belonged to her grandparents. 

Shelves and shelves loaded with “depression glass”, and lots of humming bird knick knacks.  Nestled among all of this are things that she has been given over the years by the grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  She still has the pot holder I made when I was eight and lived in Spain.  She keeps pictures and letters that the kids have sent her over the years.  A few years ago she gave me back a paint by numbers painting I did for her when I was about seven. 

So many things have just always been here, at least in my memory.  No matter what house my grandmother lived in she has had the same china cabinet, and the same dining table.  I remember sitting at that table with my grandfather eating Dairy Queen slaw dogs.  She has always had that “depression glass”.  There is the little marble top table that I believe my grandfather made many, many years ago.  Yet this morning, mostly what I could think of when I saw these things was, “I am glad that I do not have to clean them.”

I could assess each and every part of the house that way and find the old mixed with the new, things left from when my mother was a kid, to things left by one of the great-grandchildren. The past very much mixed in with the present. 

Once again,  Elmo had to put his two cents in, “What can we build together?”

Something became clear after that.  Without meaning to, my grandmother has been the orchestrator of an unlikely and great time capsule.  One that we helped her build without even realizing it.

With little to no effort she can pull an object out of its hiding place and tell you how she came by it and what was going on in the world at the time.  She shares her thoughts and emotions about those world events in her stories.  With another object she can bring back a fond childhood memory. 

She directed the building of this great collection gently.  Here and there over the years she would suggest one of the grandkids leave something at her house so we would have it the next time we were over.  Or if we happened to forget something on one of our many visits to her house, she would be sure to put it up, ensuring that it would be there the next time we came.  There are even things here that were intentionally bought to leave at my grandmother’s house. 

Yes, my grandmother’s house is an unlikely time capsule.  She has created a place that in its way, to me, represents the center of the family.  She is not really taking care of knick knacks and useless junk, she is taking care of our family history and memories.  There is something for me to learn from that. 

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Hospital Birthday

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The Birthday in the Hospital is not as bad as it could have been.  I got some pretty balloons, birthday cards and a few decorations for my room.  My mom was the thoughtful to make my room brighter.  My niece brought me a Hannah Montana card, told me Hannah Montana is her favorite rock star.  My niece is only four so I have forgiven her for her taste in music.  Oh…she also likes the Jonas Brothers.  When I asked her if she thought they were cute, she said yes!  Her Daddy better watch out!

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The hospital brought me angel food cake and fresh strawberries for my birthday cake.  I really enjoyed it….the only thing that would have made it better was if some chocolate had been involved.  Unfortunately, no chocolate for me.

This hospital is doing a much, much better job at keeping my blood sugar from getting horribly out of control.  The highest it has been 389, but most of the time it has been under 300, in the high 200’s.  The doctor dealing with the blood sugar said he might, starting giving me insulin by IV, that would mean I would have to change rooms though.  It would be too easy for things to go bad with such a direct line of insulin, so I would need more intensive supervision. 

As much as I like being alone, there is a difference in being alone because I am choosing to and being alone because I am forced to.  I am experiencing some loneliness right about now. I am watching American Loggers because it is a show my husband likes, and talking to ya’ll on the blog, so I am hoping that it will help with my loneliness.  I know that I am feeling better, just because of the fact that I am even wanting to blog.  I was feeling so bad because of the lack of being able to breath and the things going on with my nursing care, as well as just being in the hospital, that I did not feel like blogging earlier. 

Ok going to run for now, I am sure I will send out some more rambling later.

Be well, my neighbors!

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Love Many

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The Optimal Optimist is a blogger whose posts I have been reading lately.  So far I have enjoyed her blog and like that it is a blog focused around positivity.  A few days ago she wrote a post titled, Paddle Your Own Canoe.  The whole post was written around a cute little phrase “Love many, trust few,  and learn to paddle your own canoe.”  She writes about how the three sections of this phrase represent three factors of finding true happiness.

When I first sat down to write a response to her post, it was going to be full of reasons why I disagreed with her.  After trying this approach three different times, I finally had to admit that the more I read what she wrote, the more I agreed with it.   I think my problem was my own state of mind at the time.  I was prepared to disagree with her before I even read her post.  It had to do with the first part of the phrase.  “Love Many”

In fact, I was so prepared to disagree with her that I missed her whole take on what “Love Many” meant.  I do not love easily.  Love takes trust, and still being on this side of being a cynical person, I rarely find people I can love.  I am still struggling with that whole concept of loving myself.

When I first read her post, I assumed that what I was going to read would be another of what I call fluffy bunny, lets all hug everyone, and love everyone posts.  Instead she was advocating that not only should we show love to our family,  we should also show love to the other people in our lives that deserve it.  Not a willy nilly love fest, but showing and spreading love to people we already have in our lives and trust.  People that are special to us.

She also said that the more love we put out there, the more we would get in return.  She is absolutely right as far as I am concerned.  In my own experiences, I can say that the more I show love, the more my family and friends are comfortable showing love to me.  Like hugging.  I hate hugging.  It invades my personal space.  However, people in my family value hugging.  For them it is an outward sign of affection.  The last time my parents were in town, I actually hugged them without them having to hint around they wanted a hug. Not only do I think it made them feel good, but it made me feel good when they hugged back. 

I think it is interesting that I mentioned trust when I was writing about the first part of the phrase, because the second part of the phrase is “Trust Few”.  Now how could I think that the “Love Many” part would have anything to do with a fluffy bunny love fest?  See how stuck I was in my preconceived opinions?

The Optimal Optimist talks about a “Circle Of Trust”.  We can rely on those people in our “Circle Of Trust”, but we need to be careful about who we extend an invitation to join that “Circle Of Trust” to.  Not everyone will have our best intentions in mind.

So far what she had to say about the first and second parts of the phrase go right to the heart of what I think about the same topics.  It only took me reading those parts about four times to get over myself and see that.

The last part, “Learn To Paddle Your Own Canoe”.  This is the one part that I did not mess up on.  I agree with her that it is the most important part.  Learning to be ourselves.  I want to take it a step further and say that I also think it means learning how to love ourselves, trusting ourselves and having confidence in ourselves.  In my opinion, it is difficult, almost impossible to be ourselves if we do not have the other qualities to go along with it.

She asked that the readers of her post take that day to think about that phrase.  Love Many, Trust Few, Learn To Paddle Your Own Canoe.”  I took two days.  I am so glad I did.

By taking a couple of days to think about what she wrote, I believe I got more out of her post than she had in mind for people to take away from it.  I learned that I really need to let go of some preconceived opinions about things.  I am not doing myself or other people justice by forming an opinion before I carefully look something over. 

I also decided that I really need to show the people in my life, who really deserve it, more love.  I realize that I do not have to do anything elaborate or spectacular but just something to let them know that I love them. 

Do you think you need to show more love to the deserving people in your life?  How about loving yourself, do you need to do more of that?

Are you like me and are quick to form opinions without having all the information?  If so, is it something that you feel needs to be changed about yourself, or are you OK with it.

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What Is Love?

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With Valentine’s Day almost here, I have seen so many blog posts that are dedicated to Love.  How to love your spouse better, how to love your family better, the top ten way to show your love, and etc.  All the ones I have seen have been “How to love”, but I have not seen any that tells me what love is. 

 Love.  Such a little word with so such big implications.  The love of family, the love of self, the love of many, and so many more.  What is love?  I honestly am not sure.  Being so new to having “real” emotions, sometimes I have a hard time really understanding them.  


I know that love is a strong feeling, but then hate is a strong feeling.  So it has to be more than just a “strong feeling”.  Love often leads to people to put their lives in danger for a loved one.  So is being willing to die for someone the meaning of love.  No, I do not think so.  People are willing to die for complete strangers that they have no emotional attachment to.

To me the question of “What is love?” is extremely difficult to answer.  Many people have said what they thought the definition of love is.  So I turned to what they said to help me start narrowing down the definition of love. 

“Love is friendship set on fire.” – unknown

“Love is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day.” – Nicholas Sparks

“Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes
The Bible even has something to say about love.

1 Corinthians 13
New International Version
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I think I can start narrowing down a definition now.  I know love is not merely happiness.  If it were just based on happiness then I believe it would not be very enduring.  In my opinion happiness is a very fleeting thing. 

Of the quotes I listed, two seem close to what I think love is.  The quote from Nicholas Sparks and the one from the Bible.

My definition of love is this. Love is feeling compelled to do the little things for someone day in and day out, without complaining or being resentful.  Loving someone means that you feel compelled to lift someone up, and encourage them daily.  Love means you are patient with that person.  Even when you are angry or frustrated.  You do not belittle them, instead you use patience in dealing with them.  Love lasts.  It lasts through the good times and it lasts through the bad times.  It lasts when you feel like your loved one is not showing you the same amount of love you are showing them. Love is trusting someone with your heart, your emotions, and your mind. 

I think when you love someone you are really making yourself vulnerable.  Because you are placing a part of  yourself in the hands of someone you love,  I think it is very important to love carefully. 

I believe that definition could apply to spouses, children, friends, extended family and etc.  What do you think?  What is your definition of love?