Power Of Positive Words – O

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The power of positive words is life giving. They build me up, and provide me with encouragement. They have been known to empower me, giving me the confidence I need to face something difficult. Beginning with the letter A and ending it with Z….I am making a list of words for each letter (A-Z) and include why each word makes me feel positively happy.

Please feel free to list your own positive words for today’s letter. You are also more than welcome to “copy” this idea, and create your own list of positive words on your blog.

Okay – This word makes me feel positively happy, because I am okay. I really am. I have faced some really difficult things in the last few days, and I am still okay. I have decided that being Okay is a good thing.

Trapped

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I have been feeling trapped. Part of me feels like I am stuck in a situation I cannot escape from. I have let it make me feel depressed, and anxious. All I want is to be able to move forward with my life, but I feel like I cannot because of the horrible, destructive thing I am tethered to.

I had high hopes that the consultation I had with an attorney on Monday would help alleviate some of that trapped feeling. It did not. In fact, I left the attorney’s office feeling much worse than when I had gone in. Not only was the trapped feeling stronger, I felt as if I was the world’s worst parent.

I know that I have not been the parent to my daughter that I have needed to be, and not just because of the years of depression. I was not a healthy person, and I was not a healthy parent.  I have worked very hard during my depression treatment to change how I parent, and do a better job with/for my child. I wish that I had more time with my daughter – in order to show her that I can be the type of mom she deserves.

The attorney made it very clear to me what he thought of me as a parent. He also told me that the courts would not see me as someone having an illness. Instead, my years of depression would be viewed as just me being a bad parent. Hearing someone say that to me made me feel absolutely devastated. I feel absolutely horrible for having done such a great dis-service to my child. As he continued to talk a sinking feeling developed in my stomach when I realized that getting a divorce is not going to be the easy thing that I thought it would be.

When I left the attorney’s office all I wanted to do was escape. I was on the verge of having a full blown panic attack, and my thoughts started sliding in a direction they have not gone in for a long time. I knew that I needed to reach out for some extra support, so I went to my counselor’s office.

My counselor was able to slide some things around, and spend a great deal of time with me. She gave me two names of attorneys that are “mental illness friendly”. Meaning they do a great deal of work with people who have mental health issues, and might be a better fit for me. In our conversation, she reminded me that in the past – when I felt trapped – I attempted to take my own life. She went on to let me know that since that time I had not experienced that feeling so I have not had the opportunity to apply any new tools to resolve it. She told that it was not surprising that my thoughts went in that direction. She pointed out that this time when I had those thoughts, I reached out for help rather than let them take hold in my mind. I cannot say that I felt better when I left the counselor’s office, but I did feel supported and my anxiety levels were greatly decreased. I think I mostly felt emotionally drained, and worn out.

When I left the counselor’s office, I headed back to my Grandmother’s house. I spent most of the rest of the day, and night in bed – sleeping on and off. I realize that was a type of escape. It was a way for me to avoid some of what was going on, and how it was making me feel. However, I am okay with my decision to do that. I felt so physically drained because of being emotionally worn out that I needed to do that. When I woke up Tuesday morning I felt refreshed, and in better control of my thoughts.

I have come to the conclusion that there is no reason I have to rush, and make decisions. It is okay for me to take my time to find the right attorney. There is no rule stating that I have to start divorce proceedings now. Maybe taking my time – instead of rushing to decisions – is better for me. I think it might help keep me from feeling trapped, and overwhelmed.

Power Of Positive Words – N

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The power of positive words is life giving. They build me up, and provide me with encouragement. They have been known to empower me, giving me the confidence I need to face something difficult. Beginning with the letter A and ending it with Z….I am making a list of words for each letter (A-Z) and include why each word makes me feel positively happy.

Please feel free to list your own positive words for today’s letter. You are also more than welcome to “copy” this idea, and create your own list of positive words on your blog.

Normal – This word makes me feel positively happy because I have come to realize that there are no normal people in the world. Everyone, and I mean everyone has problems. I used to believe that there was no one who could really understand how my emotions, and physical health affected my mental health. I felt alone, and like I was the odd man out. One of the most amazing things I discovered in the last year and a half – through blogging, depression treatment, and social media – is I AM NOT ALONE. That realization has been a source of comfort. I also learned that everyone is just as odd as I am!

Power of Positive Words – M

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The power of positive words is life giving. They build me up, and provide me with encouragement. They have been known to empower me, giving me the confidence I need to face something difficult. Beginning with the letter A and ending it with Z….I am making a list of words for each letter (A-Z) and include why each word makes me feel positively happy.

Please feel free to list your own positive words for today’s letter. You are also more than welcome to “copy” this idea, and create your own list of positive words on your blog.

Miracle – This word makes me feel positively happy because I believe the fact that I am still alive, and doing as well as I am – physically and mentally – is a miracle. Almost two years ago I was determined to take my own life, and tried very hard to end it. Even after my own actions did not result in my death, my thoughts stayed centered on killing myself. It took many long months for me to see my own worth, and to come to a point where I no longer wanted to die. That is a miracle, and I give thanks for it everyday.

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Melissa Shell

Power Of Positive Words – L

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The power of positive words is life giving. They build me up, and provide me with encouragement. They have been known to empower me, giving me the confidence I need to face something difficult. Beginning with the letter A and ending it with Z….I am making a list of words for each letter (A-Z) and include why each word makes me feel positively happy.

Please feel free to list your own positive words for today’s letter. You are also more than welcome to “copy” this idea, and create your own list of positive words on your blog.

Light-hearted – Even before my episode of Major/Severe Depression my life was pretty dark. I was a very negative person, and – truth be told – not very happy. I was not happy with myself, consequently I was not happy with anyone or anything in my life. When I began experiencing depression symptoms my already dark world became darker, more painful and closed in on me. It was a horrible existence. Coming out of that darkness has been a difficult process. Now that I am on the other side of things I feel light – light-hearted. I love the beauty I see in the world. My heart feels happy.

Power Of Positive Words – K

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The power of positive words is life giving. They build me up, and provide me with encouragement. They have been known to empower me, giving me the confidence I need to face something difficult. Beginning with the letter A and ending it with Z….I am making a list of words for each letter (A-Z) and include why each word makes me feel positively happy.

Please feel free to list your own positive words for today’s letter. You are also more than welcome to “copy” this idea, and create your own list of positive words on your blog.

Knowledge – This word makes me positively happy because I realize the more knowledge I have the more power I have. I have power over my Major Depression, I have power over my diabetes, I have power over my asthma. I learn as much as I can – and keep learning – about each one of these diseases, and how to treat/manage them. I gain knowledge from other people’s experiences, and life stories. I gain knowledge from books, and the internet. I gain knowledge from my doctors. I gain knowledge by paying attention to what treatments, medications, and support systems work for me.

Fun February Blog Giveaway

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Are you ready for another giveaway? I am!

I love the two little items in this month’s giveaway. They are crazy toys that are fun to watch. I even bought one for one of my mother’s dogs.

What You Can Win:


These are Battle Hamsters from the Kung Zhu Ninja Warrior Pet Collection.

How To Enter:

You can enter more than once! To  enter the contest, make a separate comment below for each qualified entry. (For example, if you subscribe to my newsletter, comment and let me know. If you like my Facebook page, comment and let me know for a second entry. And so on. Also, you get credit if you are already doing any of the following entry-worthy things. Just leave your comment(s) saying so. Please leave your email address in each of your comments. It will make it easier for me to contact you if are awarded the items.

*Please remember to leave a comment below for each of your entries. It makes it much easier for me to keep up with all the entries.

MANDATORY ENTRY (comment once – worth 1 entry):

  • Tell me what your favorite Valentine Chocolate is.

EXTRA ENTRIES (worth 1 entry each, but you must comment separately for each entry):

  • Follow me on Twitter
  • Subscribe  to the Sugar Filled Emotions Newsletter
  • Like Sugar Filled Emotions on Facebook
  • Follow me with Google Friend Connect – widget can be found on the right side of the blog.
  • Follow me with Networked Blogs – widget can be found on the right side of the blog
  • Tweet the following once daily: I just entered to win some great prizes on the Sugar Filled Emotions Fun February Blog Giveaway http://bit.ly/fj2uq7
  • Place the following in your Facebook Status once daily: I just entered to win some great prizes on the Sugar Filled Emotions Fun February Blog Giveaway http://bit.ly/fj2uq7

Contest ends February 28th, 11 pm EST. Winner will be drawn via random number generator. Anyone related to me is not eligible to participate in this giveaway.

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Melissa Shell

Power Of Positive Words – J

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The power of positive words is life giving. They build me up, and provide me with encouragement. They have been known to empower me, giving me the confidence I need to face something difficult. Beginning with the letter A and ending it with Z….I am making a list of words for each letter (A-Z) and include why each word makes me feel positively happy.

Please feel free to list your own positive words for today’s letter. You are also more than welcome to “copy” this idea, and create your own list of positive words on your blog.

Journey – This word makes me positively happy, because my life has been, and will continue to be a journey. On my journey, I have gone from an angry child, to a rebellious teen. From a sad, and lonely adult, to a wonderful, woman who enjoys life, laughter, and love.

The Power Of Positive Words – I

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The power of positive words is life giving. They build me up, and provide me with encouragement. They have been known to empower me, giving me the confidence I need to face something difficult. Beginning with the letter A and ending it with Z….I am making a list of words for each letter (A-Z) and include why each word makes me feel positively happy.

Please feel free to list your own positive words for today’s letter. You are also more than welcome to “copy” this idea, and create your own list of positive words on your blog.

Imagine – This word makes me feel positively happy because the things I imagine now – for myself and my life – are positive, and full of beauty. I no longer have the habit of imagining a life full of pain, and bad things. I imagine myself having a full life – containing joy, and laughter.

Power Of Positive Words – H

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The power of positive words is life giving. They build me up, and provide me with encouragement. They have been known to empower me, giving me the confidence I need to face something difficult. Beginning with the letter A and ending it with Z….I am making a list of words for each letter (A-Z) and include why each word makes me feel positively happy.

Please feel free to list your own positive words for today’s letter. You are also more than welcome to “copy” this idea, and create your own list of positive words on your blog.

Healthy – This word makes me feel positively happy because my physical, and mental health has drastically improved. Being healthy is something I used to take for granted. When my health began to decline – including my mental health – I gave up on life. With the help of awesome doctors, an awesome medical support system, and an awesome personal support system my overall health is improving by leaps, and bounds. I no longer take being healthy for granted – I have to be an active participant in my own health care.  Being healthier has opened a world of new possibilities for me. I think that is pretty AWESOME!