Dear Awesome Person,
I want you to know how much I appreciate your generosity. It is an answer to a prayer. Your unselfish action lifted a burden from me. The amount that you donated toward my blog’s hosting fees is enough to pay for them for several months. Thank you! God Bless you!
Melissa
It has been several months since I mentioned anything about donating to my site – to aid me in paying for my hosting fees. I wanted to bring it up again, mostly because of how much my living circumstances have changed. At this time, I do not have a reliable source of income. While my father has been so generous with his money, I feel kind of odd going to him and saying “Dad, I need money.” I just thought I would post a reminder to everyone, that my site does accept donations. There is a small button at the bottom of my blog that you can click on and it will take you through the donation process. I will also be including one in this post.
None of the money that is donated goes to me. The money goes straight to my hosting company and they apply it to my hosting fees. Donations of any amount will be greatly appreciated.
There is always something to be thankful for! I believe this. Even on the days when I feel rotten, there is always something to be thankful for. The things that I tend to be most thankful for, are the little everyday things that we usually take for granted.
Today’s prompt is to write about someone I did not want to let go, but we sort of just drifted apart. This topic is posing a problem for me. I am sure that this scenario has happened during my life, and most likely when it did I did not want that person to go away. However, now that I look back and think about those old friendships/relationships I can see that most were not healthy, and it was to my benefit that we drifted apart. I have taken the time to get back in touch with a few of the people who drifted out of my life. Of those, I only stay in contact with two.
Yeah, I know. This was a completely boring post, but it is the truth!
Today’s prompt is to write about someone who made your life hell, or treated you badly. Before I do that, I feel like I need to explain what types of behavior someone would have to exhibit towards me that would put them in the category of making my life hell/treated me badly.
I would consider any person doing any of the following behaviors as someone who is treating me badly, possibly even making my life hell:
1. talking to me disrespectfully
2. calling me not nice names
3. mentally abusing me
4. physically abusing me
5. denying me access to medical care
6. Uncontrolled rage directed at me
I know someone who has done all of those things to me. That person treated me extremely badly, and – I have to admit- made my life hell. What makes it worse, is that the person who treated me so badly was ME.
I constantly said horrible things to myself. My internal dialog was negative, and full of hate filled words. I often told myself how unworthy of love, and how invaluable I was. I called myself stupid, ugly, and other not nice names. I was mentally abusing myself with all of that anger, frustration, and hate that I was directing at myself. I raged at myself. I told myself I was better off dead, and that no one should be around me. I physically abused my body by not taking care of my diabetes, and asthma properly. The things I did when I was trying to kill myself were the ultimate form of abusing myself, and has left some permanent damage. I even denied myself medical care when I would not seek help when I finally realized that I was in a deep, dark, and long lasting depression.
Fortunately, my suicide attempt did not result in my death, and I was forced to obtain psychiatric help. I no longer hate myself, and have lost any and all desire to rage at myself. I take care of myself physically, and mentally much better than I used to.
There are other bloggers participating in 30 Days of Truth. One is Angel of A Tall Drink Of Sweet Tea and Emily Suess of Suess’ s Pieces
I am going to do it. Yes. I. Am. I am going to have my very own blog giveaway. My first one actually. It was my mother’s idea to do this. In fact, she bought one of the prizes for this month’s giveaway. My hope is to attempt to have one a month this year. I am a little nervous though. After all, it is the first blog giveaway I have ever attempted.
I really like the items for this month’s giveaway, and I am sure you will too. Now on to the details…
These battery powered candles are covered in wax – giving them an authentic look and feel. You can place them in their very own rock garden – which is included. They flicker like real candles would. You can turn them off and on by simply blowing on them!
This is a hand made magnolia scented soap. Even the wrapper on this soap is as cute as can be. The front says “Morning On The Veranda”, and the back has a Scarlett O’Hara quote from Gone With The Wind.
You can enter more than once! To enter the contest, make a separate comment below for each qualified entry. (For example, if you subscribe to my newsletter, comment and let me know. If you like my Facebook page, comment and let me know for a second entry. And so on. Also, you get credit if you are already doing any of the following entry-worthy things. Just leave your comment(s) saying so. Please leave your email address in each of your comments. It will make it easier for me to contact you if are awarded the items.
Contest ends January 31st, 11 pm EST. Winner will be drawn via random number generator. Anyone related to me is not eligible to participate in this giveaway.
The power of positive words is life giving. They build me up, and provide me with encouragement. They have been known to empower me, giving me the confidence I need to face something difficult. Beginning with the letter A and ending it with Z….I am going to make a list of one word for each letter (A-Z) and include why this word makes me feel positively happy.
I would love to see what you come up with for the letter I!
My dear friend, Margaret of The World As I See It, began her own list of Positive Words. I encourage you to check it out! If you decide to do this exercise on your own blog, let me know. I would be more than happy to put up a link, directing people to it.
This picture is an accurate representation of how I have felt the last couple of days. I am exhausted. When I wake up, I feel like I have not gotten any sleep, and no amount of coffee is enough to get me moving. All I want to do is crawl under the blankets on my bed and not move. Of course, with the way things are sometimes, even my bed is not a total guarantee of rest. Night sweats have been plaguing me as well.
At first, I thought what I am feeling was totally due to being physically tired, and sore after all that furniture moving I did the other day. However, after thinking about it, I have come to believe that the way I am feeling is a combination of physical, and mental exhaustion. I do not think it would be inaccurate to say that part of what I am feeling is also the physical manifestation of a few depression symptoms. I think with all the emotional ups, and downs – as well as dealing with someone else’s irrational behavior – what I am feeling is probably normal.
Just because it is normal, does not mean it feels good. I really dislike this complete, and total exhausted feeling. I do realize that it is a sign that I need to do a few things to get myself back to feeling like I want to. Now that Christmas and New Year’s are over, I think life will slow down a bit. I will use that time to re-energize. I will work very hard to surround myself with positive thoughts, and people. I am also going to continue taking steps to eliminate the extreme drama that is going on as a result of “other people’s behavior”.
Blah!
The power of positive words is life giving. They build me up, and provide me with encouragement. They have been known to empower me, giving me the confidence I need to face something difficult. Beginning with the letter A and ending it with Z….I am going to make a list of one word for each letter (A-Z) and include why this word makes me feel positively happy.
I would love to see what you come up with for the letter H!
My dear friend, Margaret of The World As I See It, began her own list of Positive Words. I encourage you to check it out! If you decide to do this exercise on your own blog, let me know. I would be more than happy to put up a link, directing people to it.
New Year’s Eve was a very busy day for me. I organized my room, moved a great deal of furniture around, and helped my son carry a couple of things I wanted in my room. I decided that while I was doing all of that, I would decorate my room and “make it my own”, turn it into a comfortable place for me to hang out in. Fortunately, my mother has loads of stuff around her house that can be used to decorate – if you think creatively. I did run into a couple of challenges, so the moving project took a bit longer than I intended.
The most horrible thing I moved was the bed. Seriously! Whoever put it together, forgot to put the wheels/sliders on the feet of the bed frame. I went to move it – pushing as hard as I could – and realized that the top mattress was moving, but the bed frame was not. I had a jarring stop, and now my back and my left knee are hurting me. Advil is helping take the edge off of the pain.
While I was organizing my room, I realized something about myself. I can create an immense amount of clutter in a short period of time! At least it is picked up…for now. Another thing I realized is that I am not quite as young as I used to be, and my body is letting me know that. The third thing I realized is that creating my own space did me a world of good. In some ways, I have felt like I have had little control over my life lately. I have been feeling emotionally battered, and bruised. I have felt frustrated, anxious, and sad. Although I did have a room to go to in order to spend some time alone – recharging myself, – it was not working efficiently. Organizing things, doing away with the clutter, and creatively decorating it has allowed me to create a space that will help me recharge emotionally, and mentally when I need to.
Here are a few pictures of my newly decorated room:
My Bed
The Scuba Diver is me, around 16 years old
Put some sheer fabric and silver stars around the room
I got the wooden shoes, next to the book shelf, when I was 9, and visiting Amsterdam
55 Gallon Fish Tank, needs more gravel, AND fish
Water Fountain, and flowers
