What I Have Learned From Blogging….

Today I found a cute blog post called What Has Blogging Taught You written by Lolli. I thought I would follow her lead and list ten things that blogging has taught me.

1. I have learned that I really enjoy writing.

2. I learned that my internet friends are great at keeping me company when I am in the hospital.

3. I have learned that my daughter enjoys reading what I write and learning about me from my blog.

4. I have learned that my family has come to expect me to write about them and not only are they OK with it, they enjoy hearing what I write about them.

5. I have learned that blogging is a great emotional outlet for me.

6. I have learned that my neighborhood is as big as the world.

7. I have learned that there are many generous and giving people in the world.

8. I have learned that there are some great bloggers who love to share their knowledge with others.

9. I have learned that I really do have something to say.

10. I have learned that there are more people that actually listen to what I say then I ever thought there would be.

What have you learned from blogging?

I Am A Failure

There is no doubt in my mind, I am a failure. It would take more fingers and toes than I have to count how many times I have failed. I have failed so many times, that I cannot even remember all of my failures. Some of my failures have been huge, and embarrassing, others have been rather small and I was the only one aware of the failure. Sometimes it has felt as if I have failed more than the average person has.

I have spent a lot of time and energy over the years recounting my failures. I spent so much time recounting my failures that telling myself what a failure I was became a part of my negative internal dialogue. Many times I would relive the failures all over again. I would feel the same feelings of embarrassment, disappointment, anger, and etc., that I had felt when I had the original failure. Then I would start kicking myself for being so stupid and for being such a failure.

My biggest failure was when I gave up. Just literally gave up on everything, including life. So I tried to commit suicide. I had given up, what was the point of being here anymore?

A few weeks ago my counselor pointed something out to me. She brought to my attention that even though I have failed many times, even to the point of attempting to commit suicide, I have also picked myself up and dusted myself off each and every time. Sometimes it was easy to pick myself up, and other times it took more time and energy, but I have always picked myself up at some point. One example she used was with regards to my depression and how once the medications started working I threw myself into learning how to manage it.

Even after the counselor pointed out the positive things about my failures, I still had a real problem with seeing failure as a positive thing. The main reason is that failing hurts. Then I read a blog post titled Secret Tips To Overcome Your Fear Of Failure written by Aaron Wong, that helped me see failure in a different perspective.

In this post Mr. Wong states

“Changing the way we view failure from a bad thing into an opportunity, is like making lemonade out of lemons in life.”

I realized I had some choices. I could choose to continue to see my failures as bad, or I could choose to embrace my failures. I could continue to beat myself up about my failures or celebrate the successes that came out of those failures. The choice seems obvious to me. It is time for me to use my positive thinking techniques on my failures.

When I took the time to look at my failures from a more positive perspective, I realized that each and every time I failed I learned something about myself. As the counselor pointed out, at some point I would attempt whatever it was again, but in a different way, sometimes it would work, other times I would still fail. The point is, I would would keep trying until I succeeded or exhausted all possibilities and found a different way to accomplish my goal.

Having a lot of failures is not a bad thing. Failures indicate a measure of courage, because you are willing to take some risk to accomplish your goals. Failures can really be viewed as victories, if you are willing to pick yourself up and keep trying.

We are all failures — at least, all the best of us are. ~ Sir James M. Barrie

Now the word failure has a different meaning for me. To me failure means victory. I am going to proudly wear the failure label with a grin on my face.

Sunday Stealing – memememememe

Today we ripped this meme off a blogger named Calvin at the blog Calvin’s Canadian Cave of Coolness. In fact this is not the first time that Cal has been the victim. This time though, he did not state where he got the meme. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft’s thieves might take some time. Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: The Me Me Meme

1. Never in my life have I been:

bald

2. The one person who can drive me nuts is:

Anyone is a loud talker, or makes loud noises for any reason.

3. High school was:

A learning experience

4. When I’m nervous I:

keep rubbing my hands together, sigh a lot, maybe even have a panic attack

5. The last song I listened to was:

I hate music questions, because I usually do not listen to the radio much.


6. If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor:

some homeless lady,I do not know enough people in real life to pick one for maid of honor

7. My hair is:

fine(thin) and fly away, slight red, medium/short still wet from shower

8. When I was 5:

I lived in Toledo, Ohio. That is where my brother had stitches for the first time. I went to kindergarten there. There was this kid, Tommy, who was in my same kindergarten class, he did not pass kindergarten. I am sure it had to do with the fact that he would stand up at his desk and scream as loud a he could.

9. Last Christmas:

I was sick. I got out of the hospital on Christmas Eve.

10. I should be..:

writing but instead I am goofing off with this meme


11. When I look down I see:

I see a dog sleeping on my chest (boobies)


12. The happiest recent event was:

The new wii. So much fun playing.


13. If I were a character on ‘Friend’ I would be:

Monica before she lost the weight


14. By this time next year:

No freaking idea. That is to far in the future for me to even think about.


15. My current gripe is:

People who do not say what they mean


16. I have a hard time understanding:

my husband. He speaks red neck. A pair of wire pliers is called war pliers in red neck.

17. There’s this girl I know that:

lives with me and thinks she knows everything.

18. If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be:

My mom or my husband, whoever I could get a hold of first.

19. Take my advice:

about how to type on the computer when you have a dog lying on your chest (boobies)

20. The thing I want to buy:

is a wii fit

21. If you visited the place I was born:

You would know more about it than I do

22. I plan want to visit:

Thailand


23. If you spent the night at my house:

It would not happen

24. I’d stop my wedding if:

the homeless lady I wanted as my bride’s maid got too drunk

25. The world could do without:

peas, green peas are really bad

26. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than:

Seriously?!  I would not ever, under any circumstances, lick the belly of a cockroach

27. Most recent thing I’ve bought myself:

clothes

28. Most recent thing someone else bought me:

cloths

29. My favorite blonde is:

My 5 year old niece

30. My favorite brunette gray hair is

My brother

31. My favorite red head is:

My daughter
32. My middle name is:>

Lynn

33. In the morning I:

am very very very very very, very grumpy


34. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are:

Pigs, most definitely pigs

35. Once, at a bar:

I danced on a piano

36. Last night I was:

not at a bar dancing on a piano

37. There’s this guy I know who:

loves me very much

38. If I was an animal I’d be:

a beautiful Princess, sorry I just cannot picture myself as an animal

39. A better name for me would be:

Princess Bananahammock

40. Tomorrow I am:

probably going to let my daughter beat me in a wii game

41. Tonight I am:

going to try and get some decent sleep


42. My birthday is:

February 19, 1970

Thursday Thunks (late) – April 9, 2010

Welcome to the April 7th (Berleen’s Daddy’s 76th Birthday) version of Thursday Thunks!
(which we always seem to post on Wednesday)
Where we make you think a little bit before you blog!


We pick a subject, and your job is to interpret it anyway you want. Write about it on your blog… simple as that. Maybe you can interpret it as a picture – we don’t care!
Please only leave a link if you have written a Thursday Thunks post. Please mention us in your post, and link back to the blog here.
Don’t forget to go visit the other participants’ blogs. Read and comment about all their Thursday Thunks! Thats what all this is about afterall, isn’t it? We’ll have so much fun and become lifelong friends….

Bud must have really wanted to do the meme this week… he emailed me before I even had a chance to remember it was Wednesday! Way to go, Bud! Love ya…

These questions were inspired by the late George Carlin. His quotes are in bold. They were gathered from his routines. The TT questions are brought to you by Bud, the color KC’s eyes and the number 3.

1. Why do they ask you to get on the plane? Shouldn’t you get in it? When was your last flight?

About ten or eleven years ago. I used to fly a lot when I was a kid, mostly over seas. Once when we were flying back to Spain, my brother woke up from a nap and went to the restroom. The next thing we knew we heard some kid screaming and the flight attendants were running toward the back of the plan. My dad decided to see what was going on. It seems some kid had locked himself in the bathroom. Dad slid the little occupied sign over to available and out pops my brother. My dad was very surprised. My brother had still been half asleep, and had forgotten how to open the bathroom door.

2. Why do they call two planes getting too close a near miss? Shouldn’t it be a near hit? Have you ever been on a plane that was in trouble?

Not that I have been aware of.

3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? What have you done when your child sweared?

My daughter makes a point of not swearing. My son is 20 and in the Marines, I am sure he swears often.

4. How about a restaurant for anorexics? What would you call it? The Empty Plate? When was the last time you went out to a fancy restaurant?

Years. It just not in our budget to do that.

5. Where do forest rangers go to ‘get away from it all’? What to you do to get away from it all?

The bathroom

6. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? What do you do to get a know-it-all to shut up?

I walk away from them.

7. If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong? Men: does your woman (or most recent) think that you are always wrong? Women: Do you believe that men are always wrong?

No. Only sometimes.

8. If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless? Tell us about a time when you were caught naked.

ummm it happened just yesterday…….that is all of the story you are getting.

9. Would a fly that loses it wings be called a walk? How badly do flies annoy you?

Flies make me nutty. They are gross and annoying all at the same time.

10. Why do they report power outages on TV? When was the last time that you went without power?

Just a few weeks ago. The worst time we ever lost power was about four years ago. We had an ice storm and we lost power for three days. When we have not power, we have no water since we are on a well. When we lost power that time we had just gotten an order of one day old chicks in. They have to stay very warm and need light to eat. We put their brooder on a table and put them in front of the fireplace. We kept the fire very hot so that the chicks would stay warm, and put a battery powered lantern in the brooder so they would eat. We must have done a good job, because we did not lose any chicks during the power outage.

11. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Have you ever been or considered to be a vegetarian?

No way, not even for a second.

12. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Tell us about a time when either you were arrested or came close.

I have never been arrested, but when I was committed to the psychiatric hospital, I had to go by sheriff’s car. I had to ride in the back. The deputy could have handcuffed me, but since I was calm at the time, he chose not too.

13. Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food? Have you ever owned a cat?

We currently have two outside cats.

Thursday Thirteen – ME

This week I decided to do thirteen pictures of me.

1.

2.
I am the girl holding the baby. The youngest boy is my brother. The oldest boy is my cousin, and the baby is my cousin.

3.
My husband and I when we were dating

4.
My Niece and I when she was a baby

5.
My son and I when he was a baby

6.
Eating cookie cake, when I was a teen.

7.
Out to eat with my family, I was a teen, my grandfather is sitting next to me.

8.
My son and I at a restaurant in Hong Kong

9.

10.
Me, at my senior prom

11.
My feet in their new shoes

12.
My brother and I, the 80’s

13.

The Simple Woman's Daybook (late)-April 8, 2010

FOR TODAYApril 8, 2010

Outside my window… Stars and clouds

I am thinking… I wish that I was not so behind on stuff

I am thankful for… My husband, he was incredibly supportive tonight

From the kitchen… I have been experimenting with some new recipes. Tonight I made a meat lover’s pizza bake. It was very good.

I am wearing… Pajamas I think I do this meme in my pajamas most of the time.

I am creating…
Some new blog posts

I am going… to my grandmother’s house this week

I am reading… Some information about how to write better and other things to get some ideas about how to write better.

I am hoping… I can earn some money with my writing

I am hearing… my husband snoring very loudly

Around the house… It is very dark, and everyone else is in bed.

One of my favorite things…
is cooking

A few plans for the rest of the week:
Just the usual, which is not much.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing…

The Queen's (Late) Tuesday Meme – April, 8, 2010

The Queen’s Meme #32 ~ The Peep Peep Meme

Sometimes silly.
Sometimes serious.
Always fun!
Step out of the box.
Be creative.
Use your imagination.
No one’s answers are quite like you

Easter has come and gone. But I’ll bet you have stories to tell! We present: The Peep Peep Meme. I feel a sugar rush coming on….

1. What does Easter mean to you (if that is not too personal)?

To me Easter represents the day that Jesus was resurrected after being crucified.

2. When did you last go on an Easter egg hunt? Did you find anything?

I cannot remember the last time I went on an Easter Egg hut. I am sure I found the usual….eggs, candy, toys.

3. Your favorite celebrity is dressed up in a bunny outfit and about to jump out of a cake. Who is it?

It is a toss up between Johnny Depp and Edward Norton. Johnny Depp has the cuter butt, but there is something I find super sexy about Edward Norton.

4. What is the most unusual thing you’ve ever done with Easter eggs?

Grew grass in the broken half of an egg shell, it looked like a home made chia pet.

5. What’s your favorite color of peeps?

Purple, sometimes there are purple peeps hanging around. My daughter and I stuck some peeps on a stick and set them on fire.

6. Do you believe in the Easter Bunny?

Of course. The Easter Bunny is a personal friend mine.

7. Imagine: You are invited to the White House for the annual Easter egg hunt. What surprise should President Obama put in each egg for the kids?

A vote against the new health care plan, and a copy of his birth certificate so once and for all the debate over his birth place will be over.

8. What’s your favorite kind of candy to eat at Easter?

ferrio roche

9. Have you ever dyed eggs for Easter?

dyed them, glittered them, colored them with crayons, colored them with markers

10. You have just found a genuine Faberge egg (like the one pictured here) worth millions of dollars. Would you keep it or sell it for cash at auction? What would you do with the money?

Without hesitation I would sell it, and use the money to pay my bills, and then buy gifts for myself

11. Do you have an Easter bonnet with all the frills upon it?
Show us a picture of your hat.

no Easter hat for me, however I do have a picture of me wearing a hat when I was a teen, back in the 80’s. That is my brother with me.



12. Please share any special Easter memories or traditions you have with us.

One year we went to the Biltmore Estate and we got to go Easter Egg hunting there. It was very different for us,because it was a super fancy place.

Drama Came To Me…

There was a time, not too long ago, when I created drama every where I went. It was as if it was the only way I could feel emotion. It was very unpleasant for people to be around me.

Fortunately, my depression treatment has helped me not be such a drama freak. I no longer thrive on the drama I create, or the drama other people create. In fact in the face of drama I can usually keep myself out of it.

Imagine my surprise when I got I drama filled message from my daughter-in-law, who I have never met.  It was about my son.

I have briefly written about my son, and how he seems to be having some real issues right now. One of the things he does, for a reason I have not figured out, is flat out lie about things that have to do with his family here. For example, he told his bride that we had no desire to ever meet her or her family, which prompted her to agree to a quick wedding.

A few weeks ago, I had written here how I have chosen not to contact him anymore, and leave it up to him to make the moves.  He has been so disrespectful to me in text messages and in phone conversations, that I had just reached my end point on dealing with it.  I figured if he contacted me in his own time, that he would not be so disrespectful.

So back to the drama filled message. I was told that I had given up on my son, that I was selfish, and there was an out right lie about why his bio-dad and I divorced.  For all of his life, I never told my son the real story about why his bio-dad and I divorced because it would put his bio-dad in a bad light.  I never wanted my son to know about the bad behavior of my ex-husband.  I was very upset when I read the message, and I talked about it with my counselor today.  I told her about my idea of doing a post about my son and all of that history and she thought it was a good idea.  I will be working on it over the next few days.

My daughter-in-law has figured out that my son has been lying to her a great deal and it is causing some huge problems in their marriage.  They have only been married since the end of December.

I think I handled the drama better than usual.  I did not let it consume me and I did not go off the deep end.  It is just very tiring.

Quote Of The Day Meme – April 7, 2010

My quote for today is:

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.~Nelson Mandela

This quotes represents all the times I have failed and how I finally decided to pick myself up and learn from my failures. It is a good feeling when I fail and I try again. Failures do not feel as bad now, because I know that I can get past the failure