There is no doubt in my mind, I am a failure. It would take more fingers and toes than I have to count how many times I have failed. I have failed so many times, that I cannot even remember all of my failures. Some of my failures have been huge, and embarrassing, others have been rather small and I was the only one aware of the failure. Sometimes it has felt as if I have failed more than the average person has.
I have spent a lot of time and energy over the years recounting my failures. I spent so much time recounting my failures that telling myself what a failure I was became a part of my negative internal dialogue. Many times I would relive the failures all over again. I would feel the same feelings of embarrassment, disappointment, anger, and etc., that I had felt when I had the original failure. Then I would start kicking myself for being so stupid and for being such a failure.
My biggest failure was when I gave up. Just literally gave up on everything, including life. So I tried to commit suicide. I had given up, what was the point of being here anymore?
A few weeks ago my counselor pointed something out to me. She brought to my attention that even though I have failed many times, even to the point of attempting to commit suicide, I have also picked myself up and dusted myself off each and every time. Sometimes it was easy to pick myself up, and other times it took more time and energy, but I have always picked myself up at some point. One example she used was with regards to my depression and how once the medications started working I threw myself into learning how to manage it.
Even after the counselor pointed out the positive things about my failures, I still had a real problem with seeing failure as a positive thing. The main reason is that failing hurts. Then I read a blog post titled Secret Tips To Overcome Your Fear Of Failure written by Aaron Wong, that helped me see failure in a different perspective.
In this post Mr. Wong states
“Changing the way we view failure from a bad thing into an opportunity, is like making lemonade out of lemons in life.”
I realized I had some choices. I could choose to continue to see my failures as bad, or I could choose to embrace my failures. I could continue to beat myself up about my failures or celebrate the successes that came out of those failures. The choice seems obvious to me. It is time for me to use my positive thinking techniques on my failures.
When I took the time to look at my failures from a more positive perspective, I realized that each and every time I failed I learned something about myself. As the counselor pointed out, at some point I would attempt whatever it was again, but in a different way, sometimes it would work, other times I would still fail. The point is, I would would keep trying until I succeeded or exhausted all possibilities and found a different way to accomplish my goal.
Having a lot of failures is not a bad thing. Failures indicate a measure of courage, because you are willing to take some risk to accomplish your goals. Failures can really be viewed as victories, if you are willing to pick yourself up and keep trying.
We are all failures — at least, all the best of us are. ~ Sir James M. Barrie
Now the word failure has a different meaning for me. To me failure means victory. I am going to proudly wear the failure label with a grin on my face.
Good for you! Embrace it. I always did love lemonade.
.-= emcogNEATO!´s last blog ..A Sunday in the Life =-.
emcogNEATO!
People are going to think I am really weird when I proudly say I am a failure. I am looking forward to that. LOL
Good for you! Embrace it. I always did love lemonade.
.-= emcogNEATO!´s last blog ..A Sunday in the Life =-.
emcogNEATO!
People are going to think I am really weird when I proudly say I am a failure. I am looking forward to that. LOL
You are only a failure if you refuse to try again. that is failure.. anything else is considered in my book lessons learned, and discovering new ways to do things..
.-= Angel´s last blog ..MOnday minute with Ian and of course Vlog style.. =-.
Angel,
Exactly! Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
You are only a failure if you refuse to try again. that is failure.. anything else is considered in my book lessons learned, and discovering new ways to do things..
.-= Angel´s last blog ..MOnday minute with Ian and of course Vlog style.. =-.
Angel,
Exactly! Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
Hey Melissa, thanks for the buzz again!
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post. Your passion is vibrant, and I can sense the humanness in your writing. You take the reader on a journey he or she probably doesn’t want to go on, but in sharing your own unfettered thoughts, succeed in establishing an uncanny connection.
Keep up the great writing. I look forward to hearing more from you.
Aaron
.-= Aaron Wong´s last blog ..10 Tips on How to Become a Better Listener =-.
Mr. Wong,
I really appreciate your thoughts about what I have written. I have been working hard to improve my writing skills, so what you said is very encouraging to me.
Hey Melissa, thanks for the buzz again!
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post. Your passion is vibrant, and I can sense the humanness in your writing. You take the reader on a journey he or she probably doesn’t want to go on, but in sharing your own unfettered thoughts, succeed in establishing an uncanny connection.
Keep up the great writing. I look forward to hearing more from you.
Aaron
.-= Aaron Wong´s last blog ..10 Tips on How to Become a Better Listener =-.
Mr. Wong,
I really appreciate your thoughts about what I have written. I have been working hard to improve my writing skills, so what you said is very encouraging to me.
So absolutely true. It’s hard to face failure sometimes but in a way they make you stronger. They at least show you the direction you shouldn’t travel in the future.
.-= Maria @ Conversations with Moms´s last blog ..Just when you think you know what your kids need…. =-.
exactly!! I believe failing can be beneficial to us if we do not allow it to knock us down and not get up again.
So absolutely true. It’s hard to face failure sometimes but in a way they make you stronger. They at least show you the direction you shouldn’t travel in the future.
.-= Maria @ Conversations with Moms´s last blog ..Just when you think you know what your kids need…. =-.
exactly!! I believe failing can be beneficial to us if we do not allow it to knock us down and not get up again.