The Last Day Of High School

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Welcome to the March 4th version of Thursday Thunks!
(which we always seem to post on Wednesday)
Where we make you think a little bit before you blog!

We pick a subject, and your job is to interpret it anyway you want. Write about it on your blog… simple as that. Maybe you can interpret it as a picture – we don’t care!
Please only leave a link if you have written a Thursday Thunks post. Please mention us in your post, and link back to the blog here.
Don’t forget to go visit the other participants’ blogs. Read and comment about all their Thursday Thunks! Thats what all this is about afterall, isn’t it? We’ll have so much fun and become lifelong friends….
This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by Bud, the color of Australian Money, and the number 333.

Did you see that? We have a guest blogger this week!!!!

1. Someone knocks on your door. You have not seen this person in years. You were once great friends. Who would you like it to be and why?

My best friend from high school. She was very special to me. We moved so much when I was growing up that making friends was difficult. When we finally stayed in one place long enough for me to make friends, she became my very first ever best friend.

2. What do you think would be a great song title that isn’t one? Who do you want to record it?

Do your boobs hang low? (Sung to Do your ears hang low) I would like to record it.

3. You are having a party. If I’m invited, what should I bring?

you should bring the cheese dip

4. If your spouse or s/o cheated with a one night stand while away, would you really want to know?

No, I would not want to know.

5. How long does it take for a house guest to drive you bonkers?

about five minutes

6. If you could pick a new color for the sky, what would you pick?

purple

7. What did you think of the Olympics?

nothing really, I have no watched them at all

8. Could TT have thought of a lamer blogger that me to guest host?

I am sure they could have.

9. What’s the stupidest lie that someone really thought you’d believe?

No mom. Just because the graffiti on the wall has my name on it and it is in my handwriting, I did not write on the wall.

10. What was the best day you had in high school? Tell us about it.

The last day. I hated high school. I mean really hated it. I wanted to drop out, but did not. The last day was nice. I got to say good bye to friends, take pictures and know that I never had to set foot in that place again.

This is actually a picture from my last day of high school. I was in my psychology class room. I am the red head.
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11. Name something that you have in your home that you are sure most people don’t.

a didgeridoo
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12. Why haven’t you at least tried to play The Dating Profile Meme?

No idea. I will try it next time.

13. Do you think homophobia is a choice?

I think that just like the phobia implies it is a fear. Some people have more control over their fears than others do.

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Fear and Misunderstanding

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To look at me, most people would not even know that I had a mental illness. Most of the time (in fact rarely now that I am on medication) I do not act out inappropriately. I have no strange ticks, or behaviors. I do not have any OCD tendencies. In fact, even when my anxiety disorder is acting up, people who did not know me very well would not even realize that I was close to a panic attack. People would deem me “normal”.

For the most part, I can make my way through the world with few obstacles or encountering judgmental people, because of how “normal” I appear and act. The few judgmental people that I have had to deal with were easily cut from my life. I am sure that in some ways, this makes my life easier than if I had symptoms of my disease that were more noticeable by others.

For those people with mental illnesses that are more “noticeable” than mine, life can be much more challenging.  The other day I came across a blog whose author is the mother of a 17 year old young man who was recently diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder. In her post, Angel Shrout, wrote an open letter to her family (and others) describing how their judgmental attitudes and behaviors have a very real and negative impact on her son.

Looking at him, he has nothing odd about him physically that would give anyone a clue that there was anything different about him.  However, there are things about his behavior that makes it obvious that there is..  From the author’s description, it appears he has been dealing with a mental illness for most of his life. As a result for most of his life he has been ostracized by family and others. 

At an age where our children are already having self esteem issues, this young man has the added burden of not acting “normal” due to his mental illness.   He is fully aware that he is “different”, and understands that is why he is treated the way he is, yet it appears he has not let the judgments of others make him a bitter and angry young man.  He still has a great sense of humor, loves animals, and has several gifts that his mother believes shows God’s Glory shining in him.

What is the difference between that young man, who is ostracized by family and strangers, and me, who for the most part is treated just like everyone else?

I personally believe that it is easy for people to “forget” or ignore the fact that I have a mental illness.  However, because of how that young man is affected by his mental illness and how it makes him behave, the fact that he has a mental illness is much  more in the face of the people around him.  What does how obvious our mental illnesses are have to do with anything?

Fear. I believe fear is the single most contributing factor as to why judgments are made about the mentally ill. Mental illness is scary. It is scary for the person who has it, and it is scary for outsiders as well.  For the outsider though, it is a fear mingled with the unknown, misunderstanding and preconceived ideas.

For most people their only exposure to someone with a mental illness is through what they have seen on the news, a television show,  or in the movies.  Let’s face it, most of what we see portrayed there is pretty scary stuff.  Added to that fear is our natural fear of the unknown and it is easy to see why a person would jump to a judgment about someone who is obviously mentally ill. 

I do not think it makes their jumping to judgments right, but I can understand it.  Fear is a very powerful emotion that propels us to do many things.  In the case of someone who is reacting out of fear because of their misunderstanding about people with mental illnesses, they probably truly believe that they are protecting themselves or their family by treating them differently. I would imagine though that if you or a family member were on the receiving end of such fear based judgments, it would be painful and frustrating. 

I do not believe there is an easy answer to stopping fear based judgments about people with mental illnesses.  I do think the more we positively expose the “mentally healthy” to people with mental illnesses and the more we educate them, then we will find people making fewer and fewer judgments about those with mental illnesses. 

What do you think? Do you think most of the time people make judgments about the mentally ill out of fear (misunderstanding, misinformation), or do you think people really dislike the mentally ill enough that they really believe their own negative judgments. ?

Have you ever spent some time around a person who was obviously mentally ill?  How did you react to them?  Were you afraid of them? 

Enjoy the food for thought Neighbors!

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I See More Freaking Snow!

Here are your dozen for this first week of March. You know the drill; read, ruminate, write, for tomorrow we post and link. Did that sound just a tad Irish?

1. Do you prefer even or odd numbers? Any particular reason?

Even. They just look neater/cleaner to me.

2. On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being “not at all” and 10 being Carly Simon-worthy, how vain are you?

3

3. Among these Irish stereotypes, with which do you identify most closely? Talkative, Proud, Inquisitive, Love to party, Hot-tempered

Hot Tempered

4. How lucky do you consider yourself?

Not at all, I honestly do not believe in luck.

5. What is the subject of your favorite post that you’ve written?

My Grandmother

6. Describe March weather where you live in three words.

snow here again

7. How apt are you at detecting blarney when you hear it? (Smooth talk, flattery)

very easy for me to do

8. How “green” are you, environmentally speaking?

Not really very green

9. What is your favorite song this week?

I have not listened to the radio this week.

10. You are walking along and see a coin on the ground. What denomination does it have to be before you will stop to pick it up?

quarter

11. Complete the sentence: “Every time I look outside my window ….”

I see more freaking snow!

12. What was the #1 song on the day you were born? See this site to find out.

Thank You Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin – Sly & The Family Stone

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The Simple Woman's Day Book – March 2nd, 2010

FOR TODAY March 2, 2010

Outside my window…So much snow!!

I am thinking…I am glad I am inside and warm.

I am thankful for…being alive

From the kitchen…I can smell the chicken cooking for home made chicken and dumplings.

I am wearing…pajamas

I am creating…a new blog site..

I am going…no where! It is too snowy!

I am reading…blogs.

I am hoping…it snows all day.

I am hearing…the dog chewing on a bone.

Around the house…I see so many things that have lots of memories attached to them.

One of my favorite things…is hanging out in my pajamas on cold days.

A few plans for the rest of the week: just keep on getting better.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing…

On the wall you can see a hunting horn made from an actual bull horn.  It used to belong to my great-grandfather.
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Things I Have Learned While Hanging With Grandma

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Staying at Grandma’s house means a little extra hang time with her. It has been rather amusing and educational all at the same time. I thought I would share a few things that I have learned while hanging with grandma.

1. I learned that Grandma enjoys game shows, especially, “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader” She says she learns something from them every time she watches them.

During the “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader” episode yesterday afternoon, “Mama” from “Mama’s Family” was on. Unfortunately, “Mama” had to say something that has forever ruined “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader” for me. She looked in the camera and said, “I may be older than your Grandma’s underwear, but I am not smarter than a fifth grader.”

2.  The blue and white bowl in this picture belonged to my great-grandmother, who gave it to my grandmother, and my grandmother used it for many years to make biscuits in.  Grandma said she believes that it used to belong to her own grandmother at one time.

3.  The blue pitcher in the picture is another item that my grandmother said used to belong to her own grandparents. 

My grandmother got the pitcher when my great-grandmother brought her some flowers in it after my mother was born.

4.  I learned that when my mother was four years old my grandparents owned a TV.  My mother used to like to lay on the floor and watch Lawrence Welk.  Until he had Elvis on his show.  When my mother saw Elvis gyrating on stage she said something to the effect “If this is how he is going to be, I am not watching him!”

5..  I learned that this is actually carnival glass, not depression glass, and is supposed to be more valuable.

6.  This is a depression glass candy dish.  Grandma said I could have it when she died.  I remember her always keeping some kind of peppermint candy in it.

7.  I learned that Grandma can spend ten minutes trying to decide what kind of toilet paper she would like to buy.

At the grocery store yesterday, we had a great debate over what type of toilet paper was the best.  We also discussed why a “strong” toilet paper cannot be “soft” at the same time.  I told her what kind a septic tank guy recommended to me.  She picked something else out.  When I casually said “My butt won’t be the same now”, Grandma came back with a very quick “tough shit”, and we all laughed like crazy in the toilet paper aisle.

8.  I learned that I am the cutest grandchild ever.  Look at me!

 9.  I learned that Grandma wants my mom to put this LLadro piece (the dog) on ebay and sell it for $1000.

10.  I learned that it does not matter what context it is used in, hearing Grandma say the word penis is so very very wrong on so many levels.

 Have a great day, Neighbors!!

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Today you are You…

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Do you know what this is? This post is my 300th post since starting my blog on September 9, 2009.

When I started my blog it was more of an experiment to see if it would be helpful to me in my depression recovery. I never actually thought I would manage to write 300 posts, or even keep my blog going for this amount of time.

One of the things I promised myself when I began the blog, no matter how short or long of a run it had, is that I would always be who I am, and be honest in my posts. I think I have been able to do that, although at times it was really difficult. Just learning who I am has been a challenging task. It was also tempting at times to think about altering some things to show me in a better light.

In being honest in my posts and being who I am, I have noticed something about myself. “Who I am” is something fluid. It is a constantly shifting, and changing thing.

I can go back and read the things I wrote when I started the blog and I see how angry and bitter and out of control my emotions were. I can see how my perceptions were altered by my mental illness, and I see someone who was full of darkness and self loathing.

As I continue to read, getting closer and closer to the present, I can see a softening in who I am. Someone whose emotions are not so out of control, and even a person who has a little bit of hope.

In the present, I can see someone who has hope everyday, and someone with an inner peace. I see someone whose opinions and thoughts are valued by other people, but that person does not need other people to value them. I see someone who places value on herself.

Reading my old posts is like seeing a time line in my depression recovery. I can see what I was struggling with, my thoughts about it and progressing past it in an effective way. Constantly changing “Who I am”

When my depression was so out of control for those three years, nothing about who I was changed. I was stagnant. I think of stagnant things as dark, yucky and full of ick. There is no flow to them.

I think “Who we are” needs to be fluid. Always ready and willing to accept a new direction, a new way of thinking and looking at ourselves, if it is something that makes us a better person. I think of fluid things as light, airy, and full of life.

I believe who we are tomorrow will not be exactly like the person we were today, if we are being true to ourselves.

Today I am me, that is truer than true. There is no one alive, meer than me.

Are we fluid or stagnant beings? Can we grow and be true to ourselves if we are not open to change? Is who we really are something that can change daily/often?

Enjoy, Neighbors!

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