Monthly Archives: February 2010

A Beautiful Day For A Neighbor

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It’s a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
A beautiful day for a neighbor,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine? 
What makes someone a “good neighbor”?  Is it doing things with no expectation of anything in return for the people who are in your immediate vicinity?  Is it doing good works in your community?  How about your online community, is it possible to be a “good neighbor” there?

I read one person’s blog this morning that had their definition of what a “good neighbor” is.  Cherylann Marois’s, whose blog is Ramble Time – Reinvented , definition of a “good neighbor” is “Someone who helps others out of the goodness of their heart not because they want something in return but because that person is in need.”

She further goes on to state about the only time she sees people being “good neighbors” is when there is a big disaster, like the recent earthquake in Haiti or around Christmas time.  She believes that the reason for this is that most people are too focused on themselves to help others.  She also talks about the things she does in her greater community to be a “good neighbor”.  

While I agree whole heartedly with her definition of what a “good neighbor” is, and how many people are too focused on themselves to offer any type of assistance to their neighbors, I wanted to add my thoughts about being a “good neighbor” to her conversation.  The only thing I am not totally on board with her about is the amount of people who lack “good neighbor” skills.  .

I think there are more people being “good neighbors” than is immediately obvious.  With times being so hard right now, and most everyone having a decline in finances, I believe more people are stepping up to the plate to be a “good neighbor” than did so in the recent past.  They are just doing it closer to home and very quietly so it is difficult to get an accurate idea of how many people are really being “good neighbors”.

I also think that family, not living with you, can be “good neighbors”.  Family does not have to help you.  There is no law that says family members should do anything for each other.  I know that there are many families who choose not to help each other out.  So when family members choose to go out of their way to help another family member, I consider that being a “good neighbor”.

I believe that being a “good neighbor” encompasses more than just physical acts.  Encouraging words are just as valuable as doing good deeds for someone.  Helping someone through a difficult emotional time in their lives is being a “good neighbor”. I am not talking about giving them advice, everyone is good at telling other people what they think, I am talking about being there as emotional support.  

I believe that it is possible for us to be “good neighbors” in our online community.  There are many things we can do for the people we know online that will lift them up and encourage them.  Bloggers have the awards they give out, there are online cards we can send, we can email a thoughtful note, or in the case of bloggers we can leave each other encouraging comments on each other’s blogs. 

I personally have some excellent neighbors in my life.  There is the neighbor across the road that has been down to my house chopping firewood for us, more than once, and he does not even have a fireplace.  There is my sister-in-law, who helped spring me from the loony bin.  My parents have also been excellent neighbors.  Recently, my mother told me how “proud” she was of me and the work I have been doing to get mentally healthy.

What does being a “good neighbor” mean to you?  Do you believe that family can be considered “good neighbors”?  Do you think that people can be “good neighbors” in an online community?  Is giving someone encouragement rather than doing a physical act for them being a “good neighbor”  Finally, do you think people in general are not “good neighbors” now, or that there are many “good neighbors” in our real life communities?

Sick Sick Sick

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I have been sick since Sunday.  I have caught another cold.  I am coughing constantly and it seems to have affected my breathing like the last one did.  I have a pretty strong wheeze going.  I am going to do what I can so I do not have the same result I did last time, a hospital stay.

I really did spend most of yesterday sleeping.  I would wake up for about twenty minutes or so, sometimes I could do something with the blog, and then after twenty minutes,  I would go back to sleep.  My husband said he was concerned, because when I am sleeping my wheeze can really be heard.  Probably because of breathing deeper when sleeping.

With the way I feel today, slightly better (only because I am not coughing as much), I do still have a wheeze, I will probably sleep a lot today as well.

I really hope that this stuff goes away by Friday.  Friday is my 40th birthyday.

The Simple Woman's Day Book

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FOR TODAY February 15, 2010

Outside my window…another light dusting of snow

I am thinking…that I wish I was not sick

I am thankful for…my husband, he took good care of me yesterday

From the kitchen…nothing, I feel to bad to even make coffee

I am wearing…pajamas

I am creating… new blog entries

I am going…no where, just staying under the covers

I am reading…blogs

I am hoping…I feel better soon
 
I am hearing…my own coughing

Around the house…it is dark and quiet

One of my favorite things…quiet

A few plans for the rest of the week:  I just do not know, I think it will depend on how I feel

He Needs To Break The Habit Of Farting In Public

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The UnValentine Grumpy Meme

1. I, Mimi Pencil Skirt Peace Woman, have officially declared war on Valentine’s Day. If I see one more chocolate rose covered in stupid red tin foil paper I’m gonna have a fit. What did you get for Valentine’s Day?

My husband cooked for the day

2. What will you miss most about Valentine’s Day?

my husband cooking

3. What could you have done differently yesterday to make the day sweeter?

nothing


4. How many roses make a dozen?

12

5. You and your love are getting matching tattoos for Valentine’s Day. What will they be?

They would be fake wash off tatoos that are shaped like hearts

6. My kingdom for a man who can spell. I am so tired of getting text messages from college educated 45 yr old men like …..I miss u ….wat up?…. B there by 8… or the ever popular U home? Does your significant other have an annoying cute little habit you’d like to break?

This is not cute, but I want him to break the habit of Farting in public.

7. What did you get someone for Valentine’s Day, if I may ask?
 
nothing

8. No one is looking. I promise.
Write one word on this candy heart you’ve been dying to say to a romantic connection from your past. I will not tell.

rotinhell  


9. Be a poet. Write a 4-line poem starting with Roses are red…. 

Roses are read, 
violets are purple,
I am going to bed,
wearing my pajamas of lurple





10. What song best describes your Valentine’s Day experience this year?

I cannot think of one

11. I, Mimi Grumpy Skirt, am so glad this meme is almost over. This is my final question. I made it eleven questions in honor of the 11 roses I didn’t receive. Aren’t they lovely? This is my final final question, Regis:
Two cupids are in a knock down drag out fight on the floor of the Senate. One is a constituent from Venus, the other from Mars.
What is the name of the legislation are they fighting over? 

OMG I am too sick to think of answer for this one

I Was Afraid Of The Crack Monster

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Today we ripped this meme off blogger named Boppo from the blog Boppo the Clown’s Journal. He states that he grabbed it at Drgncrystlwkr. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft’s thieves might take some time. It is a long meme, so we will do it in parts. Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Cheers to all of us thieves!

Sunday Stealing: The Clown’s Meme 1

1. How old will you be in five years?


44 years old



2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today?


My husband


3. How tall are you?


five feet and five inches tall


4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?


A year of being in depression recovery


5. What’s the last movie you saw?

Whiteout


6. Who was the last person you called?


My son


7. Who was the last person to call you?


My daughter in law


8. What was the last text message you received?


My daughter in law, giving me an update on how my son is doing.


9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail?


A bill collector


10. Do you prefer to call or text?

Call, I am a very slow texter


11. What were you doing at 12am last night?

coughing my head off


12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced?

married


13. When is the last time you saw your mom?

a couple of weeks ago


14. What color are your eyes?

hazel


15. What time did you wake up today?


never really, I have been sleeping most of the day because I feel bad


16. What are you wearing right now?

old sweat pants and an old shirt and my house shoes


17. What is your favorite christmas song?


The First Noel


18. Where is your favorite place to be?

My house


19. Where is your least favorite place to be?

the hospital


20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere?


I feel to sick to go anywhere


21. Where do you think you’ll be in 10 years?

I have not idea


22. Do you tan or burn?

burn


23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?

The crackt monster he would come out of the closet if the door were left open even a crack


24. What was the last thing that really made you laugh?


My daughter


25. How many TVs do you have in your house?

three


26. How big is your bed?


Huge!


27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?

both


29. What color are your sheets?

burgendy


30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

However many I can steal from my husband


31. What is your favorite season?

fall


32. What do you like about Autumn?

The smells, the leaves, the coolness


33. What do you like about winter?

the coldness

Sticking A Piece Of Candy Up Your Nose Is Not Really Odd

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Join Us for Monday Mayhem

Valentines Day Edition Have You Would You…………..
Sunday, February 14, 2010 Leave a Comment

Welcome to Monday Mayhem,
the home of Meyhem on a Monday.
Every week is something different.
Have fun!

Today’s meme- Have You Would You?

For each of the prompts, you may answer with an image, a sentence or however you want to.
Simply copy and paste this into a post on your site and answer the prompts.
Be sure to list your a direct link to your post and visit the other participants.

HAVE YOU or WOULD YOU…

Kissed a Cow? Have you ever touched one?

I have touched a cow, and fed a cow, and stepped in cow poo.

HAVE YOU or WOULD YOU…

Give your pet a Valentine?

I have not, but I might now that you gave me the idea.

Have you or would you
Do something odd with candy?

Sticking a piece of candy up your nose is not really odd

Have you or would you
gone out with someone based solely on looks?

Yes, many times.

Have you would you
go out with someone just for the meal?

Yes, it saved me money

Have you or would you
fall in love with 2 different people at the same time?

No and no

Have you or would you place anything
before love?

no

HAVE YOU or WOULD YOU…
believe in true love?

I do beleive in true love

How would you define true love?

True love is a love that endures all things and grows stronger through time.

HAVE YOU or WOULD YOU…

send another blogger a Valentine?

I have not but I will in the future

Have you or would you do something
really stupid in the name of love?

I have done things really stupid for love, but I cannot say them here

HAVE YOU or WOULD YOU…
Write a really cool Monday Mayhem ?

Yes I have and would love to do so again.

Scariest Time Of My Life – Part II

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This is a reposting of a series of posts I wrote several months ago.  It is about my stay at a state run psychiatric hospital.  Several people had asked me what it had been like there, so I decided that it would be easier to repost what I had already written.  Please keep in mind that this was written several months ago, when I was in a different frame of mind. 

This is the next section of how I ended up in a state run psychiatric hospital and my experiences there.

After the crisis team and I arrived at the hospital, and the psychologist left me at the front desk, he went back and spoke to someone about me.  Very quickly, I was taken back to triage and then taken to a room in the emergency department.  At that time, no one seemed to be making a big deal about anything so, I started thinking again that a mistake had been made and it would be straightened out.  A doctor came in, asked me a few questions and then everyone’s attitude towards me changed. 

A nurse came in and told me I had been 10-13nd.  Where I live that means a doctor or a judge has declared you a danger to yourself or others and has committed you against your will to a psychiatric hospital.  Shock began to set in again.  My guess, is that the decision to commit me to a psychiatric hospital had been made before I even saw the doctor.  It had probably been made when the psychologist from the crisis team went back and talked to someone in the emergency department and had left me out front.

I was so mentally unprepared for the things that happened next.  That same nurse who told me I had been 10-13nd, handed me a hospital gown and told me I had to take EVERYTHING off and put their gown on.  I asked if this included underwear and she said it did.  I let her know immediately that I was leaving my underwear on and that was that.  She said that she would have to check with the charge nurse.  She also told me they expected me to be leaving for the psychiatric hospital within a few hours, once they found one that had room for me.  I was told that I would have to go in the hospital gown and not my regular clothes.

The nurse left my room, leaving the door open and within seconds a security guard showed up with a chair, which he stuck in the open doorway.   By this time some of the shock was wearing off and I was getting pissed off.  I really felt like I had been handed a bad deal.  In my mind, I was thinking that all I had done was realized I was in trouble, and called my counselor and some how that attempt at getting help before I took any more pills ended up with me being stuck and guarded, waiting to go to a psychiatric hospital.  In fact, that thought is all I focused on for several days.

The charge nurse came into my room.  The guard left the room and shut the door.  The thought I had was that she had come in to take my underwear away.  That is what I was prepared for.  What ended up happening was much much worse, at least as far as I was concerned.  She told me she was going to have to strip search me.  A thorough strip search.  I remember staring at her for a few seconds because my mind could not fully comprehend what she had said for a few seconds.  I then let her know I am not a drug user, nor do I carry weapons, and that I was in here because I had called for help and I felt that things had gone awry.  I also let her know that she was NOT going to strip search me.  Her response was to let me know that all the security guards in the hospital were also sheriff deputies and she would have the guard outside my door arrest me and take me to jail if I did not let her search me the way she needed to.  I promptly burst into tears.  I sobbed.  I relented and let her do what she needed to do.  It was the most humiliating thing I have ever experienced.  My only consolation was she let me keep my underwear. 

After the charge nurse left my room and the guard was back in his place, the doctor let me know they were going to have to hook me up to some heart monitors since I had taken extra of my beta blocker.  Everything looked fine with my heart, but they did leave everything hooked up so they could keep monitoring me.  At that point, I found out that my husband had been out in the waiting room for quite some time and they had not let him come back to see me.  I asked the guard if he would let my husband come back and he said that he would.  My husband came into my room, I explained to him what had happened, and how I felt that if I had not called for help I would not be in there. I did some more crying.  He was great and stayed calm and calmed me down, and then the guard told him he had to go.  

During all of this time the emergency department had been working on getting me into one of the two psychiatric hospitals in our area.  The hospital that agreed to take me, said they wanted the medical hospital to monitor me for 24 hours, because of the beta blocker, before I could go there.  I was taken to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU), where they decided to start an IV and flush out my system to help get the extra beta blocker out of my system. 

I was getting angrier and angrier because I still felt that all of this was happening because I had called for help, and that things had gone awry.  I really was not pleasant to be around.  I knew I was only going to spend one night in ICU and part of the next day, and after that I was not really sure what was going to happen and when I would be going to the psychiatric hospital.  That also had me very worried. 

I have something called restless leg syndrome (RLS).  Basically, it means that my legs are very uncomfortable, especially at night, and with out my medication sleep is very difficult.  When it came time for me to take my night dose of my RLS medication, I was not given the correct dose.  I was given a much smaller dose.  I mentioned to the nurse that they should have a bag of all of my medication bottles somewhere and they could read it and see what my normal dosages are.  The doctor on call was contacted and he told them to give me the proper dose and I assumed that things had all been taken care of.

After the night medications were sorted out, I settled down for what I knew would be a sleepless night. 

To be continued…

Scariest Time In My Life – Part III

Scariest Time Of My Life – Part I

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This is a reposting of a series of posts I wrote several months ago.  It is about my stay at a state run psychiatric hospital.  Several people had asked me what it had been like there, so I decided that it would be easier to repost what I had already written.  Please keep in mind that this was written several months ago, when I was in a different frame of mind. 

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Not all of this story can be or should be told in one sitting.  There is too much that happens and is also very difficult for me to talk about to even attempt to put it all in here at one time. 

I have been on medication for my major depression and anxiety since I attempted to commit suicide at the end of May.  I also have been seeing a counselor once a week.  My counselor warned me up front that it could take several months to find the proper medication for me.  She was correct.  I took three different combinations of medications before we found a combination that we thought was working.  I was feeling very encouraged and thought that things were finally headed in the proper direction.
For whatever reason, there came a week when I was not seeing my counselor.  It was sometime in August.  I think all of her appointments were filled for that week or something and things had been going well, so neither one of us were worried.  She did say that if I ever needed her I could call her and she would work me in some how.

Without me realizing it my depression symptoms started sneaking up on me again.  I became very angry, too angry.  I was too sad, crying, and just was not able to maintain myself.  I had not experienced a set back like that so I did not realize that what was happening was that my medication was not working.  Things went on like this for four days.  Then one day things just seem to suddenly seemed to take a major turn for the worse.  I felt the same way I did when I tried to commit suicide.  It happened to be time for me to take my other medications, and I found myself thinking that I could just start taking extra medication, over a few hours like I did when I tried to kill myself.  Doing that way is fairly effective because the medication has tmie to get in your system and they cannot pump your stomach to remove it, also it prevents you from vomiting it back up.  I opened up my first bottle of medication, it happened to be my Beta Blocker.  I took what I was supposed to and then took ten extra.  I was getting ready to take my other medication and do the same thing, take a few extra.  Then in about an hour repeat the process. 

Suddenly it dawned on me what it was I was doing.  I mean really and truly in the forefront of my mind, I realized on every level that I was trying to kill myself again, that something was horribly wrong, and even though I wanted to die, I knew that I really did not want to.  I did not take anymore medication.  I made the decision to call my counselor and talk to her because I knew that she would be able to help me get side tracked onto something else so that I would not continue through with my suicide attempt and plans.  I was thinking as I dialed the phone and it was ringing that I was doing what she told me to do and calling her when I was having trouble and that everything would be OK. 

When the receptionist answered the phone, I let her know that I needed to speak to my counselor.  That is when I found out she was not in that day.  I explained the the receptionist that I did not have an appointment with my counselor that week but I have run into some problems and would she please set up an appointment for me to see my counselor the next day.  I told her the truth about everything, I have told my family that I would always be honest during my treatment/recovery process, and the receptionist said that my counselor did not have anything available for the next day.  However, she could transfer me to their crises line and they would be able to get me an emergency appointment.  I was still feeling like everything would be OK, because I had called for help and that I would be able to see my counselor the next day. 

After a few minutes on hold someone from the crisis line picks up the phone on their end.  She asked me what was going on.  I explained to her that I had not been feeling “right” for several days, and that a few minutes ago I had taken extra of my beta blocker and had planned to take extra of all my medications and repeat the process in an hour and keep on until I had committed suicide.  I also explained that I had tried to call my counselor and get in to see her, but she did not have anything available, and that I was told that the crisis line could set me up an emergency appointment with her.  I believe the fact that I told the crisis line lady the whole truth, about my suicide plans caused her a great deal of worry. 

She let me know that she was very concerned about me, since I had already started implementing my suicide plan.  She let me know that she felt that I needed to have their crisis team come to my house and assess me.  Of course I told her no, that I was fine, I just needed that appointment with my counselor.  She then gave me another option, I can allow the crisis team to come to my house and assess me OR she could send an ambulance and a sheriff deputy to my house to take me to the local emergency room against my will.  I chose the crisis team. 

The crisis team shows up to my house.  There is a psychologist and a security officer.  My daughter is very confused and concerned about what is going on.  We live so far out in the country that we do not get visitors often and under normal circumstances I would not invite two men I did not know into my house.  I ask my daughter to go to her room, while I talk to these men.  I repeated the whole story.  I had been experiencing a bad four days, I took extra of one of my medications, and had planned to do that with the others, and then I was going to repeat the process again in an hour.  However, when I realized what I was doing I tried to call my counselor so that she and I could talk and figure out what was going on.  And all that I really felt like I needed was to be able to get in to see her the next day.  I was convinced they would see things my way, because after all, I had called for help before I finished implementing my whole plan.

The next thing I know, the psychologist is letting me know that he feels I really need to be in a hospital setting.  That he feels my medication is not working properly and that he is afraid to let me stay at home since I have a “plan”.  I gulped.  I said “no”.  I said “I am fine”.  I said “you can leave now”.  Then they pulled out their trump card.  They are obligated by law to make sure I went to the hospital and I could go one of two ways.  I could get a family member to drive me there, with them following, or they could call an ambulance and a sheriff’s deputy.  All the time they are saying this, I am thinking that all I had been trying to do was get help from my counselor, how in the hell can this be happening?  I was in shock and I really did not understand what just happened, except that for some reason these people think I need to go to the hospital.

I called my husband and told him just a very little bit.  I called my grandmother and asked her if she could take me to the hospital, I talked to my daughter and told her t
hat “these nice men were worried about me and think I need to go be checked out at the hospital”.  I still remember being in shock.

My grandmother got there as I was packing a few things in a bag.  I was still in shock.  She wanted to know what was going on and all I could say was that these men felt like I needed to be checked out at the hospital.  I could not articulate anything else.  I asked her to just drop me off at the hospital, and that I would be taken care of.  I was still in shock.

The  crisis team followed us all the way to the hospital.  I got out of the car and the psychologist got out of their car.  I remember my grandmother going up to him and telling him that he better take care of me.  I think she was crying or was very close to it. 

He walked me into the hospital and left me at the front desk with the lady there.  I guess I had to have someone supervise me.  He went back and talked to a nurse or doctor, or both.  Within five minutes I was called back to triage and then taken to a room in the emergency department.

To be continued….

Scariest Time Of My Life – Part II

Scary Stuff

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Some people have been asking about my time in a state run psychiatric hospital.  I had blogged about it months ago, in a series of 11 posts.  Rather than tell each person individually about my stay there, I decided to just repost my original entries.

Please bear in mind, that my own state of mind at the time I wrote those entries was much different than it is now.  However,  I think it will be a good reminder to me how far I have come, sometimes I get frustrated with how far I have to go.

The title for the series is Scariest Time In My Life.