Category Archives: Mental Health

My Relationship With My Purse

Posted on by
16

I love purses. I love how they look, feel and even how they smell. My favorites are the ones that are brightly colored and have lots of zippers and pockets. As much as I love purses though, I hate to carry them. It would not matter if it was one of those way over priced purses that so many women seem to love. I still would not find it enjoyable to carry. Instead, I would feel slightly stressed and uncomfortable.

Purses make me feel more awkward and clumsier than I normally am. There is just something about having one hanging from my shoulder that makes me feel like a bull in a china shop. More than once I have pictured myself accidentally taking out shelves and shelves of glassware with a purse. I also have a fear that one day I will turn around in a store aisle and see a line of people, that I had knocked over, laying in the floor.

Every purse I have ever owned seems to eat some of the things I put in it. Items go in, and some are never seen again. Especially chapstick. Dryers eat socks, my purses eat chapstick. I can take everything out, pile it on a table, go through it carefully and never find the three tubes of chapstick that should have been in my purse.

When my purses are not eating my chapstick, they are sucking things to bottom. Most of the time, the only way to find the missing item is to unload my purse, and check all the nooks, crannies and folds that are in the bottom. This procedure seems to take at least fifteen minutes to accomplish, longer if I am looking for my check book and people are waiting behind me.

Given how I feel about carrying purses, it is understandable that once I was emancipated from the diaper bag, I pared down the items I needed to carry around with me. What I ended up with was just enough items that would fit in a slender woman’s wallet that I could stick in my pocket. It was great, no more worrying about injuring people in a horrible purse accident, my chapstick was safe, and I no longer had to dig through something just to find a checkbook. For many years I lived blissfully with my little wallet.

The day that I was diagnosed with asthma, my little wallet and I had to part ways. I had to start carrying a rescue inhaler so I needed to have a purse to put it in. Fortunately, it took up only a little room, so I was able to use a fairly small purse. Since it was so small, I did not feel as clumsy as I normally would with a purse and when I had to find something in it, there was very little I had to look through. It still ate my chapstick though.

Then came the day I was diagnosed with diabetes. Once again I was having to say goodbye, this time to my little purse. Along with my rescue inhaler, I was now going to have to carry a glucose meter, syringes, vials of two different insulins, alcohol swabs, a small bottle to dispose the syringes in, rescue supplies (in case my sugar dropped), a small can of pineapple juice, crackers, and all my other medications. There is no way I could use any other size purse but the giant kind. You know the kind, they are about as big as a diaper bag.

Once again, I am stuck carrying a purse that makes me feel awkward and clumsy. I have managed to take out a few pieces of glassware with it. My husband’s duty when we go places now is to stand between me and the breakables. More than once he has had to tug on me to keep me from endangering the health and well being of someone standing too close to my purse. It is impossible for me to ever find something without unloading at least a few things. And yes, this purse also has a taste for chapstick.

Thursday Thirteen – Myths

Posted on by
6

My Thursday Thirteen for this week is Thirteen Myths about Mental Illness

1. Myth-Psychiatric disorders are not true medical illnesses like heart disease and diabetes. People who have a mental illness are just “crazy.”

Fact-Brain disorders, like heart disease and diabetes, are legitimate medical illnesses. Research shows there are genetic and biological causes for psychiatric disorders, and they can be treated effectively.

2. Myth- People with a severe mental illness, such as schizophrenia, are usually dangerous and violent.

Fact-Statistics show that the incidence of violence in people who have a brain disorder is not much higher than it is in the general population. Those suffering from a psychosis such as schizophrenia are more often frightened, confused and despairing than violent.

3. Myth-Mental illness is the result of bad parenting.

Fact – Most experts agree that a genetic susceptibility, combined with other risk factors, leads to a psychiatric disorder. In other words, mental illnesses have a physical cause.

4. Myth- Depression results from a personality weakness or character flaw, and people who are depressed could just snap out of it if they tried hard enough.

Fact-Depression has nothing to do with being lazy or weak. It results from changes in brain chemistry or brain function, and medication and/or psychotherapy often help people to recover.

5. Myth-Schizophrenia means split personality, and there is no way to control it.

Fact- Schizophrenia is often confused with multiple personality disorder. Actually, schizophrenia is a brain disorder that robs people of their ability to think clearly and logically. The estimated 2.5 million Americans with schizophrenia have symptoms ranging from social withdrawal to hallucinations and delusions. Medication has helped many of these individuals to lead fulfilling, productive lives.

6. Myth-Depression is a normal part of the aging process.

Fact- It is not normal for older adults to be depressed. Signs of depression in older people include a loss of interest in activities, sleep disturbances and lethargy. Depression in the elderly is often undiagnosed, and it is important for seniors and their family members to recognize the problem and seek professional help.

7. Myth-Depression and other illnesses, such as anxiety disorders, do not affect children or adolescents. Any problems they have are just a part of growing up.

Fact- Children and adolescents can develop severe mental illnesses. In the United States, one in ten children and adolescents has a mental disorder severe enough to cause impairment. However, only about 20 percent of these children receive needed treatment. Left untreated, these problems can get worse. Anyone talking about suicide should be taken very seriously.

8. Myth – If you have a mental illness, you can will it away. Being treated for a psychiatric disorder means an individual has in some way “failed” or is weak.

Fact- A serious mental illness cannot be willed away. Ignoring the problem does not make it go away, either. It takes courage to seek professional help.

9. Myth-Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), formerly known as “shock treatment,” is painful and barbaric.

Fact- ECT has given a new lease on life to many people who suffer from severe and debilitating depression. It is used when other treatments such as psychotherapy or medication fail or cannot be used. Patients who receive ECT are asleep and under anesthesia, so they do not feel anything.

10. Myth-Most people with mental illness live on the streets or are in mental hospitals.

Fact-Over two-thirds of Americans who have a mental illness live in the community and lead productive lives. Most people who need hospitalization are only there for brief periods to get treatment and are then able to return home, just like people hospitalized for other conditions. Some people with mental illness do become homeless and could benefit from treatment and services.

11. Myth – I can’t do anything for a person with mental illness.

Fact-You can do a lot, starting with how you act and speak. You can create an environment that builds on people’s strengths and promotes understanding. For example:

Don’t label people with words like “crazy,” “wacko,” or “loony” or define them by their diagnosis. Instead of saying someone is “a schizophrenic,” say he or she “has schizophrenia.”

Don’t say “a schizophrenic person,” say “a person with schizophrenia.”

Learn the facts about mental health and share them with others, especially if you hear something that isn’t true.

Treat people with mental illnesses with respect and dignity, just as you would anybody else.

Respect the rights of people with mental illnesses and don’t discriminate against them when it comes to housing, employment, or education.

Like other people with disabilities, people with mental health problems are protected under federal and state laws

12. Myth-Mental illness is a single, rare disorder.

Fact-Mental illness is not a single disease but a broad classification for many disorders. Anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, personality disorders, eating disorders and organic brain disorders can cause misery, tears and missed opportunities.

13. Myth- If you think someone has a mental illness, you should wait to do something until she asks you for help.

Fact-Addressing the problem as soon as you notice symptoms usually results in earlier treatment and a better outcome. If you notice a friend is behaving differently than usual, you should encourage her to seek help and discuss her problems.Reassure your friend that you’re available for support. If she refuses to seek help, make an appointment with a professional to discuss the situation and the available options.

Thursday Thunks – I Probably Went To The Bathroom

Posted on by
4

We pick a subject, and your job is to interpret it anyway you want. Write about it on your blog… simple as that. Maybe you can interpret it as a picture – we don’t care!
Please only leave a link if you have written a Thursday Thunks post. Please mention us in your post, and link back to the blog here.

Don’t forget to go visit the other participants’ blogs. Read and comment about all their Thursday Thunks! Thats what all this is about afterall, isn’t it? We’ll have so much fun and become lifelong friends….

The TT questions are brought to you by Berleen, the color of daisies and the number 0.

Got your taxes done?

What do batteries run on?

Legs



What do chickens think we taste like?

Cow



What do they call a French kiss in France?

a kiss

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real
lemons?

I have no idea, but I like these dancing lemons

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

I do not say what, I say “I did not understand you” and I will say it once. The picture does not go with the question, but I wanted to use it somewhere. This seems as good of a place as any.



I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I probably went to the bathroom or something



So Mel Gibson left his girlfriend – think he’s finally heard of me?

I am sure he has. Just wait by the phone, he could all at any minute.

Why do they call it “getting your dog fixed” if afterwards it doesn’t work anymore?

No idea.

>

Are you bothered that I didn’t number these?

Not at all.

There’s a Froggie Treasure Hunt going on… winner wins a $20 Amazon gift certificate ~ Why haven’t you joined ICForums and started playing yet?

never even heard of it.

The Simple Woman's Daybook – April 13, 2010

Posted on by
Reply

FOR TODAY April 13, 2010

Outside my window…Sunny, Sunny, pollen filled day. The pine tree pollen has turned everything yellow.

I am thinking…about what topic I should blog about.

I am thankful for…life, and the ability to live it.

From the kitchen…nothing. The dishes are done and I had cereal for breakfast.

I am wearing…what I always wear when I do this meme. I am wearing pajamas

I am creating…writing topics to enter into contests.

I am going…to do whatever I can to keep from napping today.

I am reading…lots of different blogs so I can see the different writing styles.

I am hoping…that I can get through to my son

I am hearing…birds chirping and the dog’s squeak toy

Around the house…there are a few things to be done but I am not going to stress about them

One of my favorite things…is this meme. It is very relaxing and positive.

A few plans for the rest of the week:same as usual, but that is a good thing

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

What I Have Learned From Blogging….

Posted on by
8

Today I found a cute blog post called What Has Blogging Taught You written by Lolli. I thought I would follow her lead and list ten things that blogging has taught me.

1. I have learned that I really enjoy writing.

2. I learned that my internet friends are great at keeping me company when I am in the hospital.

3. I have learned that my daughter enjoys reading what I write and learning about me from my blog.

4. I have learned that my family has come to expect me to write about them and not only are they OK with it, they enjoy hearing what I write about them.

5. I have learned that blogging is a great emotional outlet for me.

6. I have learned that my neighborhood is as big as the world.

7. I have learned that there are many generous and giving people in the world.

8. I have learned that there are some great bloggers who love to share their knowledge with others.

9. I have learned that I really do have something to say.

10. I have learned that there are more people that actually listen to what I say then I ever thought there would be.

What have you learned from blogging?

I Am A Failure

Posted on by
16

There is no doubt in my mind, I am a failure. It would take more fingers and toes than I have to count how many times I have failed. I have failed so many times, that I cannot even remember all of my failures. Some of my failures have been huge, and embarrassing, others have been rather small and I was the only one aware of the failure. Sometimes it has felt as if I have failed more than the average person has.

I have spent a lot of time and energy over the years recounting my failures. I spent so much time recounting my failures that telling myself what a failure I was became a part of my negative internal dialogue. Many times I would relive the failures all over again. I would feel the same feelings of embarrassment, disappointment, anger, and etc., that I had felt when I had the original failure. Then I would start kicking myself for being so stupid and for being such a failure.

My biggest failure was when I gave up. Just literally gave up on everything, including life. So I tried to commit suicide. I had given up, what was the point of being here anymore?

A few weeks ago my counselor pointed something out to me. She brought to my attention that even though I have failed many times, even to the point of attempting to commit suicide, I have also picked myself up and dusted myself off each and every time. Sometimes it was easy to pick myself up, and other times it took more time and energy, but I have always picked myself up at some point. One example she used was with regards to my depression and how once the medications started working I threw myself into learning how to manage it.

Even after the counselor pointed out the positive things about my failures, I still had a real problem with seeing failure as a positive thing. The main reason is that failing hurts. Then I read a blog post titled Secret Tips To Overcome Your Fear Of Failure written by Aaron Wong, that helped me see failure in a different perspective.

In this post Mr. Wong states

“Changing the way we view failure from a bad thing into an opportunity, is like making lemonade out of lemons in life.”

I realized I had some choices. I could choose to continue to see my failures as bad, or I could choose to embrace my failures. I could continue to beat myself up about my failures or celebrate the successes that came out of those failures. The choice seems obvious to me. It is time for me to use my positive thinking techniques on my failures.

When I took the time to look at my failures from a more positive perspective, I realized that each and every time I failed I learned something about myself. As the counselor pointed out, at some point I would attempt whatever it was again, but in a different way, sometimes it would work, other times I would still fail. The point is, I would would keep trying until I succeeded or exhausted all possibilities and found a different way to accomplish my goal.

Having a lot of failures is not a bad thing. Failures indicate a measure of courage, because you are willing to take some risk to accomplish your goals. Failures can really be viewed as victories, if you are willing to pick yourself up and keep trying.

We are all failures — at least, all the best of us are. ~ Sir James M. Barrie

Now the word failure has a different meaning for me. To me failure means victory. I am going to proudly wear the failure label with a grin on my face.

Drama Came To Me…

Posted on by
6

There was a time, not too long ago, when I created drama every where I went. It was as if it was the only way I could feel emotion. It was very unpleasant for people to be around me.

Fortunately, my depression treatment has helped me not be such a drama freak. I no longer thrive on the drama I create, or the drama other people create. In fact in the face of drama I can usually keep myself out of it.

Imagine my surprise when I got I drama filled message from my daughter-in-law, who I have never met.  It was about my son.

I have briefly written about my son, and how he seems to be having some real issues right now. One of the things he does, for a reason I have not figured out, is flat out lie about things that have to do with his family here. For example, he told his bride that we had no desire to ever meet her or her family, which prompted her to agree to a quick wedding.

A few weeks ago, I had written here how I have chosen not to contact him anymore, and leave it up to him to make the moves.  He has been so disrespectful to me in text messages and in phone conversations, that I had just reached my end point on dealing with it.  I figured if he contacted me in his own time, that he would not be so disrespectful.

So back to the drama filled message. I was told that I had given up on my son, that I was selfish, and there was an out right lie about why his bio-dad and I divorced.  For all of his life, I never told my son the real story about why his bio-dad and I divorced because it would put his bio-dad in a bad light.  I never wanted my son to know about the bad behavior of my ex-husband.  I was very upset when I read the message, and I talked about it with my counselor today.  I told her about my idea of doing a post about my son and all of that history and she thought it was a good idea.  I will be working on it over the next few days.

My daughter-in-law has figured out that my son has been lying to her a great deal and it is causing some huge problems in their marriage.  They have only been married since the end of December.

I think I handled the drama better than usual.  I did not let it consume me and I did not go off the deep end.  It is just very tiring.

Say What You Mean…

Posted on by
16

There have been many times over the last few years when I would share with someone what I needed or wanted, only to find that it was as if they never even heard me.  I never could understand what it was about me that seemed to make it so difficult for people to hear and fulfill my wants.

Somewhere along the way in my therapy, I realized why people did not hear what I was saying.  I was not really saying what it was that I wanted and needed.  I would beat around the bush, alluding to what it was that I wanted, but never actually saying it.  I learned that if I want to be heard,  I need to say what I mean and mean what I say.

“Then you should say what you mean,’ the March Hare went on. `I do,’ Alice hastily replied; `at least – at least I mean what I say – that’s the same thing, you know. “~ Lewis Carroll

Every time I did not say what I meant, and mean what I said, I diminished my own self worth, and my power.  I  also ended up feeling frustrated, disappointed, and ignored.  I felt as if I had no voice.   Those feelings contributed to the extreme unhappiness I always seemed to have.

There are several reasons why I chose to not say what I meant.  In the past, it was an act of self preservation.  I have had relationships with people and family where expressing what I really thought could have led to a great deal of unpleasantness.  I would use hinting around about the subject I wanted to discuss as a way to gauge what the other person’s reaction might be.  Later on in life I became the ultimate people pleaser, and did not see myself as valuable as everyone else.  By never being direct about what I wanted, I could make sure everyone else’s wants and needs were taken care of.

Once I saw myself as valuable and decided to live a truthful life, a life where I was being the real me,  I began to start saying what I meant.  I was surprised at the results.  Most of the people in my life where very happy that I was telling them what I needed and wanted.  It allowed them to know what I was thinking, and gave them an opportunity to do things for me.  It made them feel as if they were a part of my life.

The more I said what I meant and meant what I said, the more confidence and feelings of self worth I gained.  Which led to me being more and more direct.  I no longer felt ignored and frustrated.  I became a happier person.  Since I was no longer worrying about whether people got what I was alluding to, I also became less anxious.

Say what you mean and mean what you say is something I attempt to live up to every day.  It is not always easy, old habits can be difficult to overcome.   However, as each day goes by and I have more and more opportunities to practice being direct, the easier it has become.  My belief,  is that one day, I will be able to say what I mean and mean what I say without even having to give it any thought.

Do you always say what you mean?  If not,  why?

If you do not always say what you mean, how does that make you feel?

If you are someone who does say what you mean, have you always done so?

What made you start saying what you mean and meaning what you say?

I am looking forward to everyone’s answers. 

I See Myself As Worthy

Posted on by
6

Every one of us is born with an intrinsic value. We all possess the potential to make the world a better place, to bring joy and happiness to others. We have the potential to live fulfilling lives. However, for many of us something happens, and we have no feelings of self-worth. We believe that we do not deserve happiness, success, respect, to take care of ourselves and etc.

The reality is, we never actually lose our value. Never. We just believe we have. Sometimes it is because we have childhood trauma, or have been horribly picked on by childhood peers. Even experiences we have had with other people as adults could have helped us develop feelings of no self-worth. Often when we feel that we have no self-worth we hide ourselves away, feeling empty and alone, in other words we are experiencing depression.

For many years, in fact for probably most of my life, I felt that I had no value, no self-worth. I was a very unhappy and sad person. It has taken a year of therapy for me to see my value. I have wondered why I, and women like me, would choose to live in such a state of unhappiness. I do believe it is a choice.  I have come up with a couple of reasons why I think we choose to live that way.

As crazy as it might sound, I think believing that you have no self-worth is a safe option. Since we see no value in ourselves we already know that other people will see no value in us. Which means we are better prepared for rejection than most people would be. So when rejection comes along, like it always does, our internal dialogue tells us that it won’t ruin our lives, we already knew it would happen, because we have no value.

Having no self-worth is also an easy option. If we have no value, then there is no need for us to do well or even try and succeed at anything. People will leave us alone if we act like our opinions and thoughts have no value. If we believe and say that we have no talents, or that we are useless then people will expect less of us.

Fortunately since possessing a feeling of self-worth is a choice, there are things we can do to regain our sense of value. What we have to do may seem difficult at first, but in my opinion it seems that way because it is something we are not used to doing.

I really believe making a real and accurate assessment of our strengths, and talents is very important. I was fortunate that I had my counselor to point out strengths that I was not even aware of. If you feel you need to, get someone you can trust to help you list your strengths and talents. Also, take the time to list the good things you do. Use what you have written down as a jumping off point in believing you have self-worth.

Commit to yourself that you are going to work on building your self-esteem and believing you have value. Look for the positive in every situation, even the ones that at first glance seem bad. My goal is always to try and find three positive things in every situation. Smile! Even if you do not feel like smiling, smile. Take the time to share kind thoughts and caring emotions. Be curious, optimistic, and courageous. Work hard and take the time to have fun. Reduce the time you spend feeling sorry for yourself.

Finally, you know yourself better than anyone, be your own judge. Or if you do not feel comfortable being your own judge, find someone you trust to help you. I use my counselor that way. Sometimes I have a difficult time with identifying real emotions, so I will run things past her and make sure my assessment is fairly accurate and realistic. In the end, it is up to you to decide your worth and to live up to your realistic expectations.

Friday Frustrations – Distractions

Posted on by
12

Recently, I have become more serious about my writing.  I entered my first writing contest, and am trying to enter a few more. I am also trying to get better at my writing so I can maybe get some freelance writing work.  That means I am putting more time into writing.

Very often I when I am writing, my family decides they need me.  It always derails my thought process.  I have tried scheduling writing time so that they feel like I am accessible and I do not feel frustrated, but that has not worked out very well.

I need to figure out a way I can write and pay attention to that while at the same time managing the time with my family so I do not feel frustrated.