Guest Blogger

Have you ever wanted to try your hand at blogging but were intimidated by the process? Or do not think you could write enough to fill a blog? Or even wanted to just try it out before you set up a blog for yourself? Have you thought about being a regular contributor to a blog, but did not want to have one of your own? Maybe you already have a blog of your own but you want some more exposure for it?


Here is the answer to all those questions! I am looking for guest bloggers, someone who contributes occasionally, and/or regular blogging contributors.


Topics for blogs must be geared toward the blog’s main topics, depression, anxiety, diabetes and asthma. You can describe what your own anxiety attacks feel like, even talk about mild depression, or how you or a family member cope with diabetes. You can have an article that gives advice about any of those topics, or one that is strictly informational, or a personal blog post about any of those topics. If any of the main blog topics you decide to write about are comorbid with something else, you can write about how the conditions affect each other. As you can see there are so many ways you can take those topics.

Time Off

As I am sure my regular readers have noticed, I took some time off from blogging. No reason in particular, I think it was more of a case of lack of motivation than anything else. I had promised myself that I would update my blog daily and I think now that might have been a too lofty of a goal, as it did not take into account any bad mental health days I might have.

I have decided from this point on, that I would shoot for daily updates, and if I manage it, great! If not, I am not going to beat myself up about it.

Things have been going. Nothing too bad, nothing too good, just going. However, just going is not nearly as drab as it appears. I am further into my depression treatment, making little bits of progress here and there. I have been dealing with a couple of stressful things, but for the most part I was not overwhelmed by anxiety. Also, the mere fact that I am here to even just get through a day is a good thing. Just a few months ago, I felt as if I did not have it in me to keep going.

I have several blog topics racing around in my head, plus a really interesting idea suggested to me by a friend. I am going to spend the next few days working on those blog topics and straighten things up around the blog and when I flesh out the friend’s idea, I might even blog about it and ask you what your opinion is about it.

Best Of My Blog Entries

The following blog entries are what I consider the best of what I have done.  Enjoy!

I Miss The Mom

Scariest Time Of My Life – Part I

Scariest Time In My Life – Part II

Scariest Time In My Life – Part III

Scariest Time In My Life – Part IV 

Scariest Time In My Life – Part V 

Scariest Time In My Life – Part VI 

Scariest Time In My Life – Part VII

Scariest Time In My Life Part VIII

Scariest Time In My Life – Part IX

Scariest Time In My Life – Part X

Scariest Time In My Life – Part XI

Memes I Participate In

I really enjoy participating in memes.  They stretch my brain, my imagination and get my creative juices flowing.  The following is a list of the meme’s I participate in and what I have written for them.



Chicken Butt

Jump Out Of A Perfectly Good Airplane?!?! 

Pinkie Rings

Join Us for Monday Mayhem 

What is it and what do you do with it? 

It Was Probably His Dog’s Poo I Stepped In Anyway  

The Simple Woman’s Daybook Week 1

The Simple Woman’s Day Book Week 2 


Tuesday

The Blabbermouth Meme

Ungrateful Wretches 


Wednesday

Red Neck Sledding 

Thursday Thirteen

Thursday 13 

I Like Pajamas

ConversationsWithMoms:Every day Conversations with a Mom Blog

Unrealistic Expectations 

Sleeping Like A Baby 

Call Me 

When We Was Fab

Archives

Diabetes and Me – My Diagnosis Part I

Most of the time I blog about my depression. I think it is because it is the illness that is most affecting my life right now.  Since November is National Diabetes Month, I thought over the next few days I would blog about diabetes and the effect it has had on me, same facts about diabetes and some myths about diabetes.  

I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes in May of 2008.  I was 38 years old.  When I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes I felt completely blind sided and devastated and oddly enough a little bit relieved at times.

About 10 months before I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, I had been diagnosed with Asthma.  From the time of my Asthma diagnosis, I never felt good.  I had frequent Asthma attacks that required emergency treatment and I felt so very tired all of the time. I attributed the fatigue to the Asthma.  

If I had the usual symptoms you have when you have untreated Type 2 Diabetes, I never noticed them.  I already urinated more frequently than most people, and because of some medications I was on, I was always thirsty anyway.  I do recall in the last few weeks before I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes that I was even more thirsty, but I did not think anything of it.  The only thing I really noticed was the constant fatigue.  

One Friday in May, I began having some difficulty breathing.  I used my nebulizer several times, but it seemed to have no effect.  Since my breathing was getting worse, I decided that I needed to go to the Emergency Room and get some help.  When I got there, I was taken straight back and the triage nurse performed her assessment.  I was also started on a breathing treatment.  

The doctor came in and told me that my blood pressure was incredibly high. I sort of laughed and said I was not surprised considering how many breathing treatments I had given myself before I had gone to the Emergency Room.  The doctor did not appear to be as amused as I was.  In fact, he insisted that he do some blood work.  He was concerned that I had congestive heart failure because of my breathing difficulties and the high blood pressure. I agreed to let him run the blood work, I was not worried at all, as far as I was concerned there was nothing wrong with me except that I was having an asthma attack.  

I did notice that the nurses started treating me a bit differently, paying more attention to me, going out of their way to make sure I was comfortable, I was moved from a curtained bed area to a room that was much more private.  I still did not worry about anything “not good” showing up in my blood work.

The doctor finally came back to my room. He sat down.  It was at that point that I actually began to worry.  I knew by his demeanor something bad had been found in my blood work.  I was preparing myself for a diagnosis of congestive heart failure.  When doctor told me that I did not have congestive heart failure,  I was so happy that it did not really register that he went on to tell me that my blood sugar was 442 and I had Type 2 Diabetes.  It finally began to sink into my brain that even though I did not have congestive heart failure there was still something very serious wrong with me.  Initially, the doctor thought about admitting me into the hospital so that my blood sugar could be monitored. In the end, he agreed to let me go home because I happened to have a glucose meter that had belonged to my father.  He told me he was going to give me a prescription for glucophage and that I needed to see a doctor about the Type 2 Diabetes as soon as possible.  

While I was happy that it was not congestive heart failure, my brain could not completely wrap itself around the fact that I had Type 2 Diabetes. Even though I had several family members who had Type 2 Diabetes and knew I was at a higher risk to develop it, I never thought that I would.  

Shortly after the doctor left my room, a nurse came in with a syringe. She told me she needed to give me a shot of insulin either in my thigh or stomach.  I promptly burst into uncontrollable tears.  You see, shots/needles are a phobia of mine and the thought of having to get a shot in either my stomach or my thigh totally freaked me out.  The nurse calmly talked to me and told me she could give me the injection in the back of my arm.  The arm was a location that appealed to me because it was a place where I was used to receiving injections so I agreed.  After I was given the injection I was sent home, I was told to monitor my blood sugar, but I was not given any clear instructions about how or when to do that.

That weekend was a very tense weekend for me and my husband. We were constantly checking my blood sugar. At the time we had no idea when the best times were to check blood sugar so we were checking it every hour.  The glucophage upset my stomach.  I was halfway convinced that the diabetes diagnosis had to be a mistake.  We were also wondering if I would be able to get an appointment with an Endocrinologist on Monday.

I knew that once again that my life was going to take a drastic turn due to an illness, but I had no clear idea how this change was going to manifest itself.

To be continued…….Diabetes and Me – My Diagnosis Part II tomorrow

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 Diabetes Facts and Myths

information from American Diabetes Association

Facts – Type 2 Diabetes

Type 2 Diabetes is the most common form of Diabetes

In Type 2 Diabetes, either the body does not produce enough insulin or the cells ignore the insulin

Being overweight is one of the leading risk factors for Type 2 Diabetes.


A family history is one of the strongest risk factors for developing Type 2 Diabetes.


Fiction

Myth: Diabetes is not that serious of a disease.
Fact: Diabetes causes more deaths a year than breast cancer and AIDS combined.  Two out of three people with diabetes die from heart disease or st
roke.
Myth: If you have type 2 diabetes and your doctor says you need to start using insulin, it means you’re failing to take care of your diabetes properly.
Fact: For most people, type 2 diabetes is a progressive disease. When first diagnosed, many people with type 2 diabetes can keep their blood glucose at a healthy level with oral medications.  But over time, the body gradually produces less and less of its own insulin, and eventually oral medications may not be enough to keep blood glucose levels normal.  Using insulin to get blood glucose levels to a healthy level is a good thing, not a bad one. 

Daily Journal – November 15, 2009

I actually put make up on and got out of the house last night.  My father had called mid-afternoon yesterday and offered to take my family out to supper at Long Horn.  My husband was still working for the day so it was just me and my daughter at home.  Anna and I decided it might be fun to get out of the house for a bit.  My parents picked us up at about 5:45 PM.  Long Horn is only about fifteen minutes away, so it did not take us long to get there.  Our timing was great!  There was absolutely no wait time for a table.  We had a great waitress.  For an appetizer we had home made chips.  The chips had sea salt on them.  They were awesome!  My mother and I had the same thing, a fillet with blue cheese and mushrooms with a baked potato.  She had her medium-well and I had mine done the only way steaks should be cooked….rare!  Anna had a very yummy salad with chicken in it.  My father had a prime rib, but I am not sure how much he enjoyed it.  He kept getting up and going to the bar section to see some game on TV.   In fact he was gone when our main dish arrived and stayed gone for another ten minutes after it was there.  

This is how his seat looked through most of our meal…

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Thanksgiving is almost here and I have decided that my husband, Anna and I will just have our Thanksgiving meal here.  I think it will be more pleasant for everyone and I am actually looking forward to cooking the meal. 

Anna's Picture Of The Day – November 15, 2009

The Moon

The last few years of having a mom who was “checked out” due to severe depression has been hard on my daughter, Anna.  In an effort to try and rebuild that relationship and because she really enjoys taking pictures, she was given a page in my blog to show of her pictures.  I personally think she does an awesome job.

Anna enjoys see any feedback anyone has about her pictures, so if you like what you see here, why not leave her a comment and let her know

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I Miss The Mom…

quotes put here with permission from Anna Mashburn

“I miss the mom I used to have. I miss the mom who would do anything and everything.  I miss the mom who would spend time with me. I miss the mom that I could talk to.  I miss my fun and loving mom.” 


Sadness, hurt, abandonment, tears, and pain are some of the words I think of every time I read that quote.  I feel so sorry for the child who is expressing those feelings.  I feel such utter sadness because the child who wrote those words is my daughter.  



Maybe the best term to use for what depression has done to my family is collateral damage.  My husband and daughter are the innocent and injured by-standers in my war against depression and an anxiety disorder.  The wife and mother they had suffered an internal explosion, could barely function, and they were left to pick up the pieces and to hold the family together.

For too long my daughter felt like she had to “babysit” me when my husband was not home.  There were days when she had to remind me to take a shower or eat.  She felt this constant need to make me feel better, and she developed a habit of telling me she loved me at least twenty times a day as well as constantly asking me if I was happy. In essence she lost her mother.  I may have been in her life physically (sometimes), but I was certainly not there emotionally or mentally.   


Physically I was not with her as much as I would have been before the depression consumed me.  I could not leave the house most of the time, when she wanted to go do something.  That meant my husband and her would often have to go on outings without me.  Or because I could barely function, I would spend a lot of time in bed, so she was left to take care of herself.  


Having any type of meaningful conversation with me had to be very frustrating for her.  Most of the time I did not pay attention to what she may have been trying to talk to me about and if I did, most of the time I  would forget what she had said within about two minutes.


“I feel like you have pushed me away.  I feel like you don’t really mean I Love You.”


I just want to cry when I see those words.  I cannot blame her for thinking that though.  In my checked out, depressed state I did push people away, including her and my husband.  The thought processes going on in my head at the time rationalized me pushing them away. I told myself that by pushing them away, I was getting them used to taking care of themselves so that when I decided the time was right for me to end my life, it would make it easier for me to go through with it.

After seeing those words I went out and bought me and my daughter something special. I felt that it would reassure her that I do love her, even if I “checked out” again and could not express it properly.  I got us heart necklaces, the larger heart says “Mother”, the smaller heart says “Daughter”. 
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 I have also spent a great deal of time talking to her, reassuring her that I love her, and apologizing to her.  My hope is that once again she will feel as if I love her and not feel so sad and abandoned anymore.  I do not want her to  feel she has to be so grown up at her young age because she thinks she has to take care of me.

I have learned that my depression recovery is a family affair.  It is obvious what harm the major depression and anxiety disorder has caused me. What is less obvious is the harm and sadness that it has  caused to my family. Even now some days it is very difficult for me to focus on anything or anyone except for myself.  Just getting myself through the day is a huge task.  However, on the days when I can, I will make an effort to reassure my family that I still love and care about them.  Things will never be the way they were before the depression. I will never be the way I was before the depression.  It was not healthy.  I do, however, have a hope that when we all get on the other side of things, that we will be a stronger, healthier family because of what we all are struggling through now.