Do you have something in your life that you consider therapeutic? Something you do that brings you peace? I think that it is important for me to have something that brings me peace.  A type of therapy that is separate from what I do when I go to my counselor’s office.  My personal therapy, the thing that brings me peace, is writing in my journal/blog.

When I can fill a page up with my thoughts and emotions, I feel as if I am releasing whatever negativity I might have  harboring inside of me.  Putting those things down, for the world to see, also allows me to see them from a different perspective.  Many times, I have been able to work through a a difficult issue just by writing it about it.  Other times, the comments I receive about something I have written have given me suggestions and ideas on how to better manage a difficult situation, or problem.

My depression recovery has not been without its ups and downs and detours.  One of the constants during all these months of changing and learning has been my source of peace, my blog.  My blog is sort of like a friend who does not talk much, but really knows how to listen. I do not think that I would have made it this far in my recovery if I did not have this place of peace.

Where do you find your peace?  What do you do that is therapeutic?

Another great blog post about using a blog for therapy can be found at Anxious Kaley

Since I had written a list of things that would not be good to say to a person with depression, I thought I would take the time to write a list of things that might help someone with depression. Some of these came from other people, some from the internet and some from me. If you disagree with any of the things on this list let me know, or if you have something to add, contact me and I will add what you said to the list.

1. I am here for you.  You are not alone in this.
2. You are important to me
3. Do you want a hug?
4. When all this is over, I’ll still be here and so will you.
5. I cannot really understand what you are going through, but I can offer you my compassion.
6. I am not going to leave or abandon you.
7. I love you (say this only if you mean it)
8. We do not have to talk if you do not want to, but I am here if you decide you do.
9. I am not sure what to say, but I want you to know that I care about you.
10. How can I be most helpful to you?

I was reading something that Kimmie Smith had written about why trying to change another person does not work and something clicked in my head.  What occurred to me was that in my efforts to create a perfect environment for me to get the most out of my depression recovery process, I had been demanding that the people around me change.

I knew I had to change so that I could get a handle on my depression. However, I had no right to demand that the people around me change as well.  I could ask them to consider changing in certain ways that would make our relationship healthier. It had to be their choice, not something that they felt like I was forcing them to do.

I also realized that some of the boundaries that I had set up were not really boundaries at all, they were actually demands to force people to do things my way.  No wonder my boundary setting has been met with such resistance.  By making my boundaries demands, I was stomping all over someone else’s boundaries.

Sometimes I feel kind of alone in this dilemma, as if I am the only person who really messes up when it comes to setting boundaries or demanding my family change to suit my needs.  All of this is so new to me, that there are times when I feel like I am doing it all wrong.

Once again, I am headed back tot he drawing board.  I need to rearrange some thinking and figure out a better way to set my boundaries.  I am curious to find out if anyone else has had similar issues when they were/are going through their own mental health recovery.  Demanding change, instead of asking?