Post-It-Note Blessings
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Monthly Archives: July 2011
Saturdays are Hard
Saturdays are hard days around here. I think they are because a Saturday was the last day that dad was alive. They are also tough because mom and I miss him so much, and Saturdays were the one day a week that he was usually home all day. I do not think we have gotten used to dad not being here on Saturdays yet.
Dad had a schedule he followed every Saturday. He would get up early, go to Sam’s Club, and then to Publix. After his errands, he would come home, sit in his living room recliner and let the dogs hop up into his lap. He would then flip the channels of the TV back and forth – turning it from football to a western and then back again. At half time he would usually help us with a few things around the house.
Even though dad enjoyed watching football, he was not so involved in it that you could not talk to him. Having conversations with him became one of my favorite things to do. We could have conversations about anything from politics to what he did for a living, and sometimes our conversations were just down-right silly.
The last activity dad and I did together was cut grass in the backyard. So every time I cut the grass I am reminded of dad. Last Saturday was no exception. In the end, mom and I ended up having a good cry.
On Thursday a couple – who are good friends with mom, and were good friends with dad – came over to help us with a couple of projects that mom and I were too short to reach. The husband has a similar body style to dad. He is a tall and big man. It felt good having someone – who reminded me of dad – doing little odd projects around the house. After he finished the few things we needed him to do, mom and I met him and his wife at Crackle Barrel. It was a very pleasant supper.
I do not know what made me say it, but I told the man and his wife that mom and I needed him to come over on a Saturday. We do not need him to do any projects, I just thought it would be nice to have someone – who reminded me of dad – hang out with us. Everyone chuckled at my request, but he did not seem opposed to it. I do not think I would ever actually ask him to do that, but it is nice to know that if I really wanted him to he would.
Post-It-Note Blessings
Post-It-Note Blessings
Post-It-Note Blessings
Post-It-Note Blessings
Absolutely Remarkable
The last couple of days could have been emotionally draining. They definitely could have been upsetting and even depressing. There is no doubt in my mind that they would have been even just a couple of months ago. However, something absolutely remarkable has happened. I have discovered I can laugh about the horrible things Joe Bob says to me.
The electricity at the house I used to live in with Joe Bob was in my name. I had not told the electric company to disconnect it, because I was under the impression that Joe Bob would have some difficulty having it transferred to his name. However, the situation never felt quite “right” to me.
Last week, the electric bill became two months past due. Joe Bob could only afford to pay for one month of the past due balance. Unfortunately, the electric company has a policy that once an account is two months past due, the whole balance must be paid, or they will still disconnect the service. Which is exactly what happened on Monday.
After thinking about the situation, I decided to not allow it to be reconnected in my name. I do not live in that house anymore and since it had been disconnected I thought it would be a good time to get it transferred into someone else’s name. Joe Bob was less than pleased with my decision.
He voiced his displeasure in the his usual way – insulting me. He even went so far as to tell me that I “could not function” without my medication. Rather than upsetting me, his insults actually made me chuckle.
I guess I have finally reached a point where I finally understand that his insults are nothing more than words. The words only have the power that I give them. If I do not give them power then they cannot hurt me. It is rather freeing to not feel so emotionally tied in to what someone says to me and about me. I like this feeling. I wish it had not taken me so long to get to this point with him, but everything is a process and at least I am now.
Post-It-Note- Blessings
Post-It-Note Blessings
I decided to do something a little different for Counting My Blessings. I thought it might be fun and interesting, if I put a blessing a day on a post-it-note. I was thinking it might work out better than the list of blessings I usually do. It would be a good way for me to be reminded daily of just how many blessings there are in my life.
Spiders – Blog Gang
This week’s Blog Gang topic is Spiders. I really do not like spiders. I wonder what Susie Kline of Motherhoot was thinking when she came up this topic.
There is no good reason for why spiders creep me out, but they do. There is just something about them that gives me the shivers, and makes my skin crawl. When I was younger I had two different methods for making spiders go away. One involved hairspray, the other involved a shoe. I tried very hard to not let my children see how much spiders bothered me. I did not want to teach them to be afraid of them too. Somehow, my son was able to figure out that I had a problem with spiders and played a very mean trick on me. To this day I find spiders very creepy but instead of freaking out when I see one, I react very differently.
As a young adult, I had a couple of different methods for dealing with spiders. One was the tried and true method of smashing them with a shoe. The other required a bit more effort, but gave me supreme pleasure. This method required two pieces of equipment. One piece of equipment was a bottle of hairspray, and the other was a vacuum cleaner. The first step in the vacuum cleaner hairspray method was to spray a spider with the hairspray until it could no longer move. Once incapacitated, I would suck it up into the vacuum cleaner. I probably dispatched thousands of creepy spiders this way. Every once in a while the thought of all those spiders in a vacuum cleaner bag would give me a nightmare that always ended the same way. The vacuum cleaner bag would burst open, and thousands of hairsprayed spiders would spill out in search of revenge. As bad as that nightmare was, it was nothing compared to the horrible thing my son did to me with a spider.
For some reason, I allowed my son to get a pet tarantula. He really liked his spider and could handle it with no problem. During the time he had this large spider in his room, I found out that I needed some minor foot surgery. Before the surgery took place, the doctor gave me the list of post-operation instructions. One of the items on the list stated that for at least the first 24 hours after the surgery I would need to keep my foot elevated. I did not see any problem with this, I figured I could just lay on the couch, prop my foot up, and watch TV. My son had different plans for me.
A couple of days before my surgery was scheduled, my son came to me and told me that his spider had escaped. I did not believe him. I had to see for myself. Sure enough, when I checked the container his spider was supposed to be in, it was gone! He assured me he had checked his room very carefully, and could not find it. I could not help him look for it because I was afraid I would be the one to find it. I wandered back in the living room with only one thing on my mind.
All I could think about was THE SPIDER. The big, hairy, tarantula that I let him buy was loose in the house! I had a vision. It was of me laying on the couch with my foot propped up, and I was waking up from a nap. When I opened my eyes the only thing I could see was the GIANT SPIDER sitting on my chest. I knew that if that spider was not found, my vision would become a reality. I was near the point of panic.
It was not long before my son came to me and let me know that he had found the spider. I was very relieved for a brief moment. That feeling of relief rapidly went away when my son confessed he had let the spider out on purpose, and that he had done it to scare me. He was very pleased with himself, and my reaction to his prank. After that, every day I wondered and worried if my son was going to set his spider free again.
I learned something very valuable that night, sons and spiders can sense your fear. Since then, I have never let either see the look of fear in my eyes.