My Daughter Speaks Out…

I love my daughter.  She is funny, intelligent, warm and caring.  She sparkles when she smiles.  Every morning when she wakes up, she kisses me.  My daughter impresses me with her strength and self confidence. She is a blessing to me.

I have not always been the mother she has needed and wanted.  She had to spend a great deal of time raising herself and worrying about me during the time that my depression was so bad.  She deserved better than what I gave her. I have been more afraid of what she thought about me and that time in our lives than any other person in my family.

When I brought up the idea of her answering some questions for my blog, I figured she would be resistant.  To my surprise, she not only agreed to answer my questions, she really seemed to want to.  Her answers were honest, forthright, and for me, brutal.

What did you think when you found out that I had tried to commit suicide?

I was scared. I honestly didn’t know what to think. Anger went through me when I found out you were in the hospital again! Then when dad and I showed up at the hospital I got really sad, ’cause I didn’t know what was going to happen. You kept getting worse and a nurse said “Why dont you take your kid somewhere else? She doesn’t need to see her mother like this.”  Right then and there I knew everything wouldnt be fine. I knew something awful was going to happen. I was sad and mad

What was it like to be around me before I started getting help for my depression?

It was awful. I didn’t know when you would have a good day. The littlest things would set you off and you would yell. or you would just stay in bed all day under the covers and not come out. The rare times you would come out would be to get something to eat or drink, other than that I hardly saw you.. or you would be angry.

Are you ever embarrassed to have a mom who has a mental illness?

I’m not embarrassed to have a mother with a metal illness. I’m glad you are still here. I could have it really bad, and not have you here today.  Soo I’m thankful I have a mother, even if you have a mental illness. We all have our problems, and we just have to learn to move on and live with them…

Knowing that mental health issues are in our family, what are you going to do to keep your mind healthy as you grow up and when you are an adult?

I know there is a very high chance of me getting everything you have right now. However, considering I have seen it first hand with you, I will have a good idea on how to catch it and make sure it doesn’t get as far as yours did.

How will I keep my mind healthy? I will think right and do the right things. I will see a person who knows if I could get it every so often just to make sure I won’t get mental health issues or if needed, to catch it in time before its get to the really bad stage…

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16 thoughts on “My Daughter Speaks Out…

    • @MelissaMashburn Great post! Sharing your daughter's experience is a great way to help people understand mental illness. #endstigma

    • @MelissaMashburn Great post! Sharing your daughter’s experience is a great way to help people understand mental illness. #endstigma

  1. Thanks so much for sharing your daughter’s thoughts Melissa. I found your post on seededbuzz.com and it reminded me that I wanted to do the same with my husband. I think it’s so important that we allow others to see what it’s like for those that live with someone who’s depressed. I truly believe they will find comfort or insight in it…. If you haven’t seen it yet, I wrote about your above post on my site… The link to that post is here:

    http://hopedespitedepression.blogspot.com/2010/10/what-its-like-for-loved-one-living-with.html

    And my follow-up post with my husband’s own insights…

    http://hopedespitedepression.blogspot.com/2010/10/living-with-depression-my-husbands.html

    Take care – I look forward to more posts from you!!

    Christine

  2. Pingback: National Survivors of Suicide Day

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