Diabetes is a numbers disease.  By that I mean everything to do with control and treatment revolves around a number.  The patient has their numbers, the doctor has his own numbers, and some how these numbers are supposed to give us answers.  Sometimes the number in the answer indicates that everything is running smoothly other times it tells us that we need to modify our treatment.  There are even numbers for what we eat. 

I have never found numbers or math to be all that interesting.  In fact, to be quite honest about it, numbers bore me.  I hated learning math in school, and I especially hated it when a teacher would tell me that “someday” I would have a use for those math formulas.  It never dawned on me that one day my life would revolve around numbers, like it does now.  It seems as if every math teacher I have ever had is getting their revenge for me having slept through their class.

 I spent years of my life avoiding the use of numbers in any form.  The most difficult thing I used numbers for was to keep a running total of how much I had spent at the grocery store.  That was exhausting enough.  Now I have to deal with numbers even before I have my first cup of coffee.  I have tried concentrating on them while I am half asleep, but since obtaining those morning numbers involves a finger stick, blood and a glucose meter it is not the most effective way to obtain the number I need. Not to mention, I seem to mess up more when I try and get a blood sample from my finger when I only have one eye open.    I keep trying though, my hope is to one day master the technique of half asleep number gathering.

Every time I get my morning number, I have to analyze it.  It is a simple procedure, but without the benefit of a cup of coffee and being half asleep, it becomes  rather complicated.  I have to attempt to open both eyes, realize I still cannot see it because I have forgotten to put my glasses on, spend several minutes looking for my glasses, and then finally I can see the number in the glucose meter.  Once I can read the number, I can analyze it and determine if I need any insulin and how much.   If I do need insulin, I am then forced to do a math formula to determine how much I need.  Still being half asleep, the formula is much more than my poor brain can take first thing in the day.  I often have to do the computing four or five times before I come up with the correct answer.

Once I have the correct number of insulin units, I load a syringe with it, give myself a shot and move on to my next morning numbers, otherwise known as breakfast.  These numbers can be rather complicated.  I have to look at the total carbohydrates and sugars of what I want to eat.  Then I have to decide how much I want of each thing, then add up the total carbohydrates and sugars and makes sure it does not go over the amount I am allowed to have for breakfast.  This became too difficult to do first thing in the day so I came up with a way to get the correct number with no math involved.  I fix the same thing every morning, a serving size amount of an egg substitute, two turkey sausage links, and a serving size bowl of cherries.   

 The rest of my day is filled with numbers as well. Everyday, all day long, numbers for food, numbers for insulin, and numbers for glucose.  It seems to me that living with diabetes is all about the numbers.  Yes, it is definitely revenge from all those math teachers I wronged by sleeping through their classes.