Today is a bad breathing day for me. Last night I started to develop that recognizable wheeze I get when my asthma is acting up and my airways are starting to constrict.  I also have that special asthma cough.  It is caused by my airways starting to constrict and irritating my lungs.  At some point today, I will probably use my nebulizer to open my airways up a bit, allowing myself to breath better.  

I have adult onset asthma.  It is basically just like asthma that some children develop, I just did not develop it until I was thirty-seven. This morning I recognized the fact that a bad breathing day could also cause a bad mental health day.  It is depressing and frustrating to feel like you are breathing through water.  It is also very tiring.  I feel like I am running really hard in a race and cannot catch my breath.   Sometimes I even sweat like someone who is working out because of struggling to get a decent amount of air in.

In an effort to not let myself spiral down into any type of depression, I tried thinking of a few positive , well if not positive at least not negative, things about my asthma.  Believe it or not I actually found a few.  Admittedly, one or two are stretching it a bit, but whatever works is fine with me. 

I honestly think most of us take the act of breathing for granted.  It is an automatic action, that takes place without any conscious thought.  I know I took it for granted before I was diagnosed with Adult Onset Asthma.  Once I developed asthma and felt like I was breathing through water most of the time, I quit taking breathing for granted.

I have been able to create a new dance.  It is called “Cough, Cough, Wheeze, Wheeze, Cross Your Leggs And Try Not To Pee!”  Right now I am the only one knows the dance moves, but there is always the possibility that it could catch on.  The creation of this dance was inspired by the fact that after giving birth to two large babies, I have a tendency to pee on myself when I cough.  This dance is very effective in keeping that from happening.  It is also very easy to learn, if you look at the title you can see all there is to it.  Of course when I perform it out in public I get a lot of strange looks.  I have tried teaching it to my husband and daughter as sort of a line dance but they keep telling me “No!”

I have learned that my special asthma cough can clear a room.  I can be in a crowed doctor’s office lobby, or some other crowded small area and someone could be wearing a strong smelling perfume, or hairspray or even cologne.  My lungs do not appreciate any of those very much and react by constricting my airways.  That will cause me to have a  horrible coughing fit as well as doing a modified for a chair version of the “Cough, Cough, Wheeze, Wheeze, Cross Your Legs And Try Not To Pee” dance.  In these day and times with the swine flu, the bird flu, the regular flu and tuberculous people get worried very quickly when they are confined someplace with someone who is coughing their head off.   Very quickly, the people who are stuck with me will leave the room, thinking I have some contagious disease.  Most of the room clears out and I get to stay in a much less crowded place.  Because of my anxiety disorder, an almost empty room suits me just fine.

There is even a benefit to the whistle I have when my wheezing is bad.  Sometimes the whistle is so loud that it can be heard from across the house,which makes it easier for people to find me.  I admit this one was definitely stretching things. 

The biggest benefit I have gained from my asthma is that it has given me a better understanding for what people with worse breathing problems than I have are going through.  On a recent visit to my pulmonologist, I stopped by the restroom before I checked in at the doctor’s office.  While I was in there I discovered an elderly lady who was stuck in the restroom stall because her breathing was so bad she could not get up and walk out of the stall.  I was able to help her get into a less embarrassing position and waited with her until some assistance came.  Because of my own breathing problems I was able to empathize with her situation without making her more uncomfortable and embarrassed than she already was.