There is a certain stigma that usually surrounds people with mental illnesses. Dangerous, crazy, violent, stupid, disabled, weak, are the usual judgments that are made about the mentally ill because of this stigma. These negative labels often keep people from seeking help for a mental illness. They fear that friends, family and strangers will treat them with disdain and disrespect.
As much as I hate to admit it, I was one of those people who held a negative stereotypical image of the mentally ill. I was quick to make judgments and in my mind (and possibly outwardly) I had less respect for the mentally ill, than so called normal people. I did not believe that the mentally ill were really capable of being productive members of society and I had it in my head that most if not all were violent. I was very harsh in my judgments.
I could say that I had those harsh judgments because of how the mentally ill are portrayed in the movies, or on TV. I could blame it on the fact that when there are news reports about the mentally ill, it seems that the news media picks the worst cases to talk about. I could even defend myself with the fact that my ideas came from outdated opinions about the mentally ill that seem to still persist in our society.
The truth is that I had a choice, I could have taken the time to learn more about mental illness and the people affected by it. I never did. I never believed that anyone in my family could be affected by a mental illness, much less me. Then I came up close and personal with mental illness, and I was the one who had it.
Even when I was in very real trouble with my depression and knew it, my harsh judgments were still there. My own judgments got in the way of me seeking help before things came to head with my suicide attempt. I knew that if I thought that way about people with mental illnesses, my family would as well. I kept quiet, and I became more ill.
Once I started receiving help for my mental illness, I realized how wrong my judgments were. I also realized what my judgments (and how they kept me from seeking help) almost cost me…..my life. At the very least, since I refused to seek help for so long, my judgments allowed my mental illness to become worse.
Obviously through my treatments and my hospitalization I was exposed to many people with mental illnesses. I was surprised at how many of them seemed so “normal” to me. They were intelligent, well spoken people, and most were doing well with their recovery programs. They were certainly not weak people because they were working hard to manage their mental illnesses, even if the mental illness was still giving them difficulty. For the most part, the mentally ill people I was exposed to were much more generous and giving than many “normal” people I have met. Probably much more generous and giving than I might have been before my own diagnosis. As far as the mentally ill people I encountered being violent, there was only a very minute portion that were.
If things had been fair, I would have been treated to the same harsh judgments that I had about the mentally ill before my diagnosis. Things were not fair and I have been shown much kindness by the majority of the people who have had a hand in my recovery process.
I have learned a great many truths in this past year since I began my recovery process. I have learned that I have been a very judgmental person. Being such a judgmental person has caused myself and other people un-necessary pain. I have learned to let go of my judgments and take people as they are. I have come to realize that people with mental illnesses are as wide and varied as “normal” people are and that I should never, ever judge a person by their label.
Is there anything you have been judgmental about, only to find yourself in the same position later?
Can you think of a time when your judgments or someone else’s judgments may have cause harm (emotional, physical) to someone?
As a mom to a bipolar child nd a oman who has suffered from anxiety and depression I have runinto people who don't understand and make the same judgement calls. Let me say to you know , I know, Iknow how society has portrayed mental illness and I am glad that you are getting help. It is not an easy road but one well worth travelling. I think when we have seen so much bad we appreciate the good that much more..
.-= Angel´s last blog ..WIMTSW Vlog style…OHh I am back on my pulpit… it ain't purty =-.
Angel,
you are correct, we do appreciate the good much more when we have experienced the bad.
I always appreciate your thoughts and opinions, you do a great job at making me think in a different direction.
As a mom to a bipolar child nd a oman who has suffered from anxiety and depression I have runinto people who don’t understand and make the same judgement calls. Let me say to you know , I know, Iknow how society has portrayed mental illness and I am glad that you are getting help. It is not an easy road but one well worth travelling. I think when we have seen so much bad we appreciate the good that much more..
.-= Angel´s last blog ..WIMTSW Vlog style…OHh I am back on my pulpit… it ain’t purty =-.
Angel,
you are correct, we do appreciate the good much more when we have experienced the bad.
I always appreciate your thoughts and opinions, you do a great job at making me think in a different direction.
Surprisingly, I think the younger we are the more judgemental we are – by lack of experience. I remember watching my nephew lick up the side of a cake saying, "My son will never do that." Well, the 3rd one did! I've learned that good parents have kids who struggle – not because of poor parenting but because teens have choices. I've learned that teens make poor choices, but that is necessarily who they are. What a wonderful testimony your post is! You have such strength and courage!
.-= bluecottonmemory´s last blog ..A Time to Ask over, ovER and OVER =-.
Surprisingly, I think the younger we are the more judgemental we are – by lack of experience. I remember watching my nephew lick up the side of a cake saying, “My son will never do that.” Well, the 3rd one did! I’ve learned that good parents have kids who struggle – not because of poor parenting but because teens have choices. I’ve learned that teens make poor choices, but that is necessarily who they are. What a wonderful testimony your post is! You have such strength and courage!
.-= bluecottonmemory´s last blog ..A Time to Ask over, ovER and OVER =-.
Bluecottonmemory,
I agree with you about the younger we are the more judgmental we are. It is as if our minds, because of our lack of life experiences, can only see things as black or white. I like what you said about good parents have kids who struggle and it is not necessarily caused by poor parenting. That is a very encouraging statement. Thank you for your kind words about my post. I really appreciate it.
.-= Melissa Mashburn´s last blog ..Not So Hidden Danger =-.
Bluecottonmemory,
I agree with you about the younger we are the more judgmental we are. It is as if our minds, because of our lack of life experiences, can only see things as black or white. I like what you said about good parents have kids who struggle and it is not necessarily caused by poor parenting. That is a very encouraging statement. Thank you for your kind words about my post. I really appreciate it.
.-= Melissa Mashburn´s last blog ..Not So Hidden Danger =-.
It's so easy to judge someone when you're on the other side. It's such a change in perspective when you're seeing what they are going through. It's like, "OH. Right. Now I see." I've had that happen to me many times. As a result, though, I've tried to be a better, more accepting person and I know that no matter what you think you know about someone you never really know what it's like to BE them.
.-= Paige´s last blog ..just like a movie =-.
Paige,
Yes it is easy to judge someone until you have the opportunity to see things from their side. You are exactly right, we never really know what it is like to be another person. Even if we are going through a similar experience, how it makes them feel and think could be different than how we react to it.
It’s so easy to judge someone when you’re on the other side. It’s such a change in perspective when you’re seeing what they are going through. It’s like, “OH. Right. Now I see.” I’ve had that happen to me many times. As a result, though, I’ve tried to be a better, more accepting person and I know that no matter what you think you know about someone you never really know what it’s like to BE them.
.-= Paige´s last blog ..just like a movie =-.
Paige,
Yes it is easy to judge someone until you have the opportunity to see things from their side. You are exactly right, we never really know what it is like to be another person. Even if we are going through a similar experience, how it makes them feel and think could be different than how we react to it.
Aww, I know what you mean. I think we all judge people indiscriminately regardless of how old we are or how experienced we are in life. I think a lot of it has to do with society and it's influence on how we perceive things that shape the way we think from the day we were born. We are constantly looking at other people with shame or disgust because the they are either different from us or because their situation is considered "below us." I'm guilty of that many times. The thing that sets both you and me different from those who just continue to judge unfairly is that we try and learn and understand. By educating ourselves, we open our minds to new things we become better people. At least that's why I think 🙂
.-= Jen C.´s last blog ..My incredible daddy =-.
Jen C.
I agree, I think educating ourselves shows that we are at least attempting to not continue to judge people unfairly. However, I know that there are probably times when I still do it. I just have to remember that I am trying to do better, and keep on trying.
Aww, I know what you mean. I think we all judge people indiscriminately regardless of how old we are or how experienced we are in life. I think a lot of it has to do with society and it’s influence on how we perceive things that shape the way we think from the day we were born. We are constantly looking at other people with shame or disgust because the they are either different from us or because their situation is considered “below us.” I’m guilty of that many times. The thing that sets both you and me different from those who just continue to judge unfairly is that we try and learn and understand. By educating ourselves, we open our minds to new things we become better people. At least that’s why I think 🙂
.-= Jen C.´s last blog ..My incredible daddy =-.
Jen C.
I agree, I think educating ourselves shows that we are at least attempting to not continue to judge people unfairly. However, I know that there are probably times when I still do it. I just have to remember that I am trying to do better, and keep on trying.
I think that the older we get and the more we experience all the aspects of human behavior, the more tolerant we become of mental illness in others. Doesn't do much for self acceptance, but it does make us more accepting of others.
I think that living in a rural area and a small town leads to increased acceptance because you know the person as a whole, not just a certain set of behaviors. Makes life more interesting.
.-= Dan´s last blog ..The Dad Things =-.
Dan,
I think so too. Life experience allows us to see things not so black and white.
I live in a rural area and a small town, and I have to say that I have not noticed an increased in acceptance at all. In fact, except for a select few, most people who know that I have a mental illness, avoid me at all costs. I believe they must think it is contagious
I think that the older we get and the more we experience all the aspects of human behavior, the more tolerant we become of mental illness in others. Doesn’t do much for self acceptance, but it does make us more accepting of others.
I think that living in a rural area and a small town leads to increased acceptance because you know the person as a whole, not just a certain set of behaviors. Makes life more interesting.
.-= Dan´s last blog ..The Dad Things =-.
Dan,
I think so too. Life experience allows us to see things not so black and white.
I live in a rural area and a small town, and I have to say that I have not noticed an increased in acceptance at all. In fact, except for a select few, most people who know that I have a mental illness, avoid me at all costs. I believe they must think it is contagious
In answer to your question, many times before. I guess that's why the saying, "don't judge lest ye be judged" is so true. I've been there where I've passed judgment, only to live through experience what I was judging. I've learned a lot during those times though.
I like the rawness of your post.
.-= Maria @ Conversations with Moms´s last blog ..Just when you think you know what your kids need…. =-.
In answer to your question, many times before. I guess that’s why the saying, “don’t judge lest ye be judged” is so true. I’ve been there where I’ve passed judgment, only to live through experience what I was judging. I’ve learned a lot during those times though.
I like the rawness of your post.
.-= Maria @ Conversations with Moms´s last blog ..Just when you think you know what your kids need…. =-.