This is the next section of how I ended up in a state run psychiatric hospital and my experiences there.
A nurse took me out of the common room and down a short hall way and into fairly small room. She stayed with me. This doctor came in. I had not seen him before, nor did I know his name, I just knew he was the medical doctor. He looked over my medical files and did not say much too me. He saw how much medication on was on and started rapid firing questions to me about why I took what I did and exactly what doses I really took. I did ask him about my Restless Leg Syndrome medication my husband brought. I wanted to know if he would write the order for me to be able to take my own medication so that I could be more comfortable. He said he would. He wanted to know how long I had had diabetes and I told him that I had been diagnosed over a year ago. He then stated that he did not believe that I had any diabetic complications because I had not had diabetes for long enough. So then I had to explain to him that due to uncontrolled asthma I had been on steroids for about two years (steroids mess up your blood sugar results) so no one noticed I had diabetes until then. Then he got to the part where it said I was on 30 units of Lantus. Lantus is a long acting insulin, you give yourself a shot of it every evening. He told me it was too much lantus and then accused me of lying about the amount I was supposed to take. He wanted the phone number of the pharmacy I used so he could call and verify that I was taking the proper amount. He then said he felt I was taking 30 units of Lantus to try and gradually kill myself. At this time I do not get my Lantus from a pharmacy. A free clinic I have been going to set it up with the manufacturers of Lantus for me to get a year’s worth for free. The manufacturers of Lantus send it directly to the free clinic and that is where I pick it up. I told him that he was more than welcome to call the free clinic if he wanted to, but 30 units of Lantus is less than I used to take. I used to have to give myself 40 units. I do not think he believed me, but he also never did call the clinic I had been using. I felt kind of humiliated after I saw him. He treated me like and spoke to me as if I was a piece of dirt. Never in my life have I had a doctor talk to me that way. When he finished saying what he had to say, he walked out. The nurse escorted me back to where the rest of the patients were, just in time for lunch.
I am not going to say much about the lunch. They finally had my trays marked for a diabetic patient and thank God for the salad and orange jello on my plate. The same lady that had stood over me and took the food off of my tray at breakfast time, did the same thing at lunch. Everyone else had cake, I got an extra helping of orange jello.
After lunch there was more boredom. We still had our psychologists to see. By the time mine called me into an office and talked to me I was so bored that I was actually glad to see him. He asked me how I was doing on the new medication, I was doing fine with it. He said that he was going to have the dosage increased on Sunday. He asked me if I took the medication he had prescribed to help me sleep. I explained to him that I had not because it would have made my Restless Leg Syndrome worse and since I had not been able to take that medication the night before, I did not want my legs feeling worse. He asked me if I was having anymore suicidal thoughts. Of course I said no. Seriously, even if I had, I would not have told him yes. An answer like that would have extended my stay. I explained to him again about how I ended up there. How I took ten extra beta blockers and had tried to call my counselor to get into see her, before things got worse, and the next thing I knew a crisis team was at my house telling me I needed to be hospitalized, and that someone had told the emergency room doctor that I had taken fifty beta blockers. After a very brief visit with him, I got to go back to being bored.
The lack of activities for a bunch of people who have been deemed mentally ill amazed me. There was so much arguing and physical fights between the patients, that in my opinion it was caused from everyone being so darn bored.
Finally, we got to walk back to our regular unit. One of the nurses announced that it was time for an outside break. Everyone, including me, got very excited about a change of scenery. However, I was not allowed to go outside. Since I had just been admitted there the day before, I had not even gotten a status of any kind yet. Without a status, I could not even take a walk outside, unless I was walking from one unit to the next. More boredom. At least with the majority of the women outside, it was much much quieter in the unit.
I got to speak to my husband while they were gone and he let me know he was coming to visit me the next day (Saturday) and my brother and sister-in-law would be coming with him. I was very excited.
More boredom, yucky supper, and then bed.
At about four in the morning I woke up and much to my surprise one of the nurses was helping someone make the empty bed in my room. I had a room mate. She was a little cranky with the nurse, because the doctor who had admitted her had taken her off of all her psychiatric medications. I do not know why he would do that, but that there are several possible explanations. The medications she had been taken may have quit working and with some of the psychiatric medications you have to get the old ones out of your system before you start on new ones, the doctor may be trying to figure out what other medication to give her that works better, and finally she may not have needed the medications at all but instead was addicted to them. I have learned that many of the psychiatric medications are highly addictive and are often abused. If you know the right things to say to a doctor, they are also fairly easy to obtain. The doctor had said she could have an anti-anxiety medication, the same one that I was being given, and it is one that is not addictive.
She went to bed, I remained up and attempted to enjoy my quiet time……unfortunately, another patient saw to it that I could not.
To be continued…