Dark. Alone. Sadness. Tears. Isolated. Not too long ago those words could sum up how I felt. I felt so alone in my depression. It felt to me as if I was the only one who had those feelings. Because I felt isolated by my major depression, believing no one could understand me, I felt too ashamed to tell anyone about it. I was an isolated woman.

Dark. Alone. Sadness. Tears. Isolated. The more my major depression developed, the more I became consumed by my feeling of being isolated.  I would look at other people, and they seemed so happy.  I would wonder how they could be so happy and I was so sad.. I was an isolated woman.

Dark. Alone. Sadness. Tears. Isolated.  I felt so isolated from everyone, even myself.  I could not stand to look at myself in the mirror.  My reflection was more human contact than I could handle.  When I caught the occasional glimpse of myself in the mirror, I could not recognize the person looking back at me. That person looked beaten down, and very lonely.  I was an isolated woman.

Dark. Alone. Sadness. Tears. Isolated.  I felt boxed in by my depression.  Way back in the early days of my major depression, I would struggle against the isolation I felt.  However, after a short time I lost my will to fight what the depression was doing to me.  It surrounded me on all sides, boxing me in.  I was an isolated woman.

Dark. Alone. Sadness. Tears. Isolated.  I lived in a box.  Not in a bubble.  Or even in a room by myself.  It was a box.  Boxes are dark on the inside.  I was surrounded by the darkness that I felt was inside of me.  The box limited my movements.  It kept me from interacting with others. I was an isolated woman.

Dark. Alone. Sadness. Tears. Isolated.  I became an isolated woman, who was incapable of functioning except for the simplest of tasks and even those were difficult to accomplish.  Even when I was surrounded by people, even family members, I still felt isolated.  I was an isolated woman. 

Dark. Alone. Sadness. Tears. Isolated.  The day I tried to kill myself, I felt as if my box of darkness was closing in on me.  My sadness had reached a peak where something had to be done.  I chose the pills, and the insulin to try and achieve the ultimate darkness of death.  I failed.  I became even more isolated.  How do you tell the people that love you that you really did try and end your life?  I was an isolated woman.

Dark. Alone. Sadness. Tears.  I was an isolated woman….