One of the side effects of being an Approval Addict is I have a difficult time saying no. I tend to keep accepting projects, and responsibilities – to make other people happy, and not hurt anyone’s feelings – until I become absolutely overwhelmed. Once that happens, everything I do suffers.
Spreading myself too thin makes me sloppy. I feel like I am always rushing around – with not enough time to put things away properly. I do not pay attention to detail, and will not put as much effort into a project as I should. I will declare things “done”, when they really need a little more time and effort. It interferes with my creativity. I experience more bouts of writer’s block when I am feeling overwhelmed than at any other time. I even treat my relationships in a sloppy manner by not paying much attention to them. I feel as if I do not have the time to “deal” with the people in my life, because I am so busy trying to make them happy. At some point feelings of guilt set in.
Because I know I am not doing a “good enough” job managing all the responsibilities I accepted, I get hit by waves, waves of guilt. This makes things worse. Guilt has a way of messing with my head. It very often leads to me having depression symptoms, anxiety attacks, and interferes with my concentration. It can paralyze me. Once I reach that point, I bail out of life, and all my responsibilities. Rather than let anyone know I am in over my head, I do not do anything – disappointing everyone – leading to even more feelings of guilt, and more severe depression symptoms.
I have learned that I have the right – duty – to eliminate things that make feel as if I am spread to thin. It benefits everyone involved. People are not left with incomplete projects, and feelings of disappointment. I am not left feeling guilty, and depressed. As I have gained self confidence, and self worth, my need for the approval of others has drastically decreased – making it easier for me to use “no”. All of this is a huge indication of how much my mental health has improved.
Do you ever have a problem using the word “no”? If so, does this lead to feeling has if you have spread yourself too thin?
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I always have this problem. I can never say no to people and it always ends up with me getting sick because I keep pushing and going until my body finally gives out on me.
Spreading Myself Too Thin – http://www.sugarfilledemotions.com/2011/… #mentalhealth #depression