When I saw the counselor on Thursday, she had a suggestion – homework – for me.  It has to do with setting boundaries and finding ways for my family – husband and daughter – to remember to not cross them. This is going to sound absolutely crazy – no pun intended – but she suggested I do something silly and create a Circle Of Death.

She knows I like to try and use some humor when I set boundaries, it makes it easier for the family to accept them. She is also aware that when I am feeling like I am now, I do not want to be touched, or even like people in my personal space. I feel as if I am being smothered when I am having personal space issues and people insist on entering it. Her rather unusual homework was for me to take some duct tape and create a circle around me. Include where I am sitting to do my writing – the couch.

After I create my circle, I am to let my family know that as long as I am in it they cannot talk to me, or touch me or do anything that compromises my personal space. I am also to tell them that the Circle of Death is for their own protection.  It is a way for me to be with them, while at the same time separating myself from them just enough so that I do not yell at them or hurt their feelings, given my extreme irritability and agitation right now.

Creating the Circle of Death will give them a fair verbal warning and also a physical reminder that there is a zone they should not enter. This will eliminate any confusion – on their part – about where my boundary begins, and what the consequences will be if they choose to cross it. If they choose to ignore the boundary then they are responsible for the consequences – taking their lives in their own hands, so to speak.

I will let you know how it goes!