“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.”

Sophia Loren

What makes a woman beautiful? Is it strictly her pleasing physical attributes? Or does true beauty involve a woman’s soul, character, and personality? Can you have one without the other?

I have never fit into the mold of being physically beautiful.  Cute, yes.  Pretty, yes.  There have been times when I have felt jealous of the beautiful people.  I felt so inadequate when I compared myself to them.  I have even felt angry at them simply because they were beautiful and I was not.  I hate to admit it, but I was a cheerleader hater, they were all so cute and perky…and beautiful.

In the last few months I have discovered something about myself and why I disliked and was jealous of the beautiful people.   I realized that in addition to being physically beautiful, they had beautiful personalities.   They were beautiful inside and out.  I believe that was what I was jealous of, the beauty they had on the inside.  I wanted that for myself.

In the part of the South Eastern United States that I live in, you will often hear parents telling their children to not “be ugly”.  When they say that, they are referring to their child’s behavior/attitude.  I have had an ugly attitude for most of my life.  I looked at every thing from a negative point of view, I was always the victim, and it showed.  It showed in the expressions on my face, in my posture, in the words I spoke out loud, and how I responded to the actions of other people.  My inside ugliness was marring my outside. Worry lines on my forehead, crows feet around my eyes, and a constant frown on my face. People could see the ugliness that was inside of me on my face, and they avoided me.  I do not blame them. Who wants to hang out with someone who is so negative and angry looking?

Since I began realizing my own self worth, and gaining self confidence I have noticed a change in myself.  I am more positive, happier, and no longer accept the victim role that had been a part of my life for so long.  I feel beautiful on the inside.  My worry lines have disappeared, I smile more, I laugh more and it shows.  It has changed the way people react to me.  Since my face no longer looks so angry, I am more approachable.  People actually want to spend time with me.

I think beauty can include both the physical aspects of a woman and what she is like on the inside.  However, I no longer envy women who possess both.  I feel beautiful in my own way.