One thing I have done most of my life has been to find ways to help other people.  I have volunteered at soup kitchens, given random homeless families food, volunteered in nursing homes, and have participated in many other giving activities.  Unfortunately, my reasons for doing all that did not include a real desire to give to  others.  Instead, I did those things because I  craved the high regard people would have for me.

I do not think there is anything wrong with taking pride in the things you do for other people.  What I do believe though, is that if you are only helping others for the accolades you are going to receive, then your motivation and actions are very selfish.  I  also believe that you are missing out on the gifts you might have received as a result of unselfish giving.

My craving for that type of attention was born out of my own lack of self worth.  In this last year, I have worked on my self worth, learning that I am a valuable person and that I do not need someone else’s approval to feel good about myself.  Once I began to value myself, I began to value  other people.  That is when my acts of giving changed from trying to make myself look good, to truly wanting to give what I can to other people.

The unselfish giving of myself to other people has done more to contribute to my happiness and satisfaction than I ever got when I was doing it selfishly.  The ironic thing is when I was engaging in selfish giving, those are the feelings I expected to get as a result of  the accolades of  others, and never did.

I have seen very real examples of how you can receive when you unselfishly give in my own family.  The repairing of mine and my mother’s relationship would not have taken place if we had not been willing to give of ourselves without any expectation of receiving anything in return.  The gifts we received as a result of that type of giving are numerous.  Friendship, support, and peace are just a few.

I would like to encourage each and every one of you to examine your own motivations for giving to others.  This will provide you with reassurance that you are giving from your heart or that maybe you need to change the reasons why you are giving.

Just like Selurus did in his blog post, I shared a little example of how I benefited from giving to someone else.  I would love it if you would share your own example of how you unselfishly gave of yourself to someone and what gift you received as a result.  I would also be interested in hearing if someone engaged in the selfish type of giving that I have in the past, as well as what motivated you to stop doing it.