I know I have written about this before, but I have been thinking about it again.  There are some people in my life who think I have become boring because I am not letting my emotions control me as much.  The latest thing that bothers me is that I was told I was self absorbed, because I am choosing to control how much interaction I have with people until I get a firmer grip on my emotions.

I am choosing to control my interactions with people more, because when I have bad days, I often say and do things that are not nice.  I create drama, insult people and pick fights with people on my bad days.  Then when I am thinking clearly again, I totally regret everything I said and did during that time.  Which then makes me get depressed about that.  It is just a nasty vicious cycle.

I think I need to let go of any friendship where the person feels that way.  It has become clear to me that if someone thinks I am boring and self absorbed because of the things I need to do to get better then it is not a healthy friendship.  I wish things could be different, but I feel that I do need to be selfish and picky about the things I do and the people I choose to interact with.  I cannot be around people who are going to bring me down.