I have been very serious lately. My funny bone must be on vacation. That is OK, serious is good too. I still have a positive attitude and I am not feeling depressed. Just serious. I think it is because I have been having serious thoughts. I have been thinking a lot about my son. Not in the depressed, I am falling apart sad way like it used to be. Just missing him. Wondering how he ended up with such a chip on his shoulder and the part I played in that happening. Not in a beating myself up kind of way. I have been thinking long and hard about something. I have been thinking of telling mine and his story. How much he meant to me before he was born, the things that we experienced together when we were just a little family of two, what it was like when we became a family of three then four, and how much he means to me now. This has been weighing on me for several weeks now. It would be a long story, so I would have to do it in installments. I wish I could say it would be a fairy tale story, but I made some big mistakes when he was growing up. So it will be a tough story to write and most likely a tough story for people to read. However, I think since it is something I have been thinking about for so many weeks, that it is a story I am meant to tell.

I was supposed to see my counselor this afternoon, but that did not happen. Her office called this morning and said she was sick and could not see me today. In the whole almost year I have been seeing her this is the first time she could not see me due to illness. I was disappointed but I understood. I already have my appointment rescheduled for next week.

I guess that is enough rambling for now, Neighbors.

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