Do you know what this is? This post is my 300th post since starting my blog on September 9, 2009.

When I started my blog it was more of an experiment to see if it would be helpful to me in my depression recovery. I never actually thought I would manage to write 300 posts, or even keep my blog going for this amount of time.

One of the things I promised myself when I began the blog, no matter how short or long of a run it had, is that I would always be who I am, and be honest in my posts. I think I have been able to do that, although at times it was really difficult. Just learning who I am has been a challenging task. It was also tempting at times to think about altering some things to show me in a better light.

In being honest in my posts and being who I am, I have noticed something about myself. “Who I am” is something fluid. It is a constantly shifting, and changing thing.

I can go back and read the things I wrote when I started the blog and I see how angry and bitter and out of control my emotions were. I can see how my perceptions were altered by my mental illness, and I see someone who was full of darkness and self loathing.

As I continue to read, getting closer and closer to the present, I can see a softening in who I am. Someone whose emotions are not so out of control, and even a person who has a little bit of hope.

In the present, I can see someone who has hope everyday, and someone with an inner peace. I see someone whose opinions and thoughts are valued by other people, but that person does not need other people to value them. I see someone who places value on herself.

Reading my old posts is like seeing a time line in my depression recovery. I can see what I was struggling with, my thoughts about it and progressing past it in an effective way. Constantly changing “Who I am”

When my depression was so out of control for those three years, nothing about who I was changed. I was stagnant. I think of stagnant things as dark, yucky and full of ick. There is no flow to them.

I think “Who we are” needs to be fluid. Always ready and willing to accept a new direction, a new way of thinking and looking at ourselves, if it is something that makes us a better person. I think of fluid things as light, airy, and full of life.

I believe who we are tomorrow will not be exactly like the person we were today, if we are being true to ourselves.

Today I am me, that is truer than true. There is no one alive, meer than me.

Are we fluid or stagnant beings? Can we grow and be true to ourselves if we are not open to change? Is who we really are something that can change daily/often?

Enjoy, Neighbors!