Yesterday started off very busy. A young man came over, and did some heaving lifting chores that mom and I needed help with. He brought his three year old daughter with him. The little girl was fun to be around, but she is a very curious, and active little thing. I spent a great deal of the day asking her to put breakables back where she got the, and telling her the elderly dog did not want to play. I was left alone with her for about an hour or so while her daddy ran a pick up load of trash to the local dump – while he was out, he picked up his wife from work.
By the time the young man and his family left, I was frazzled. Keeping the 3 year from breaking any of my mother’s knick knacks, keeping her from taking everything out of the refrigerator, and keeping her from bugging the old dog were full time activities. During all of this, I did my best to keep up with the dogs. I left mine in the kennel for most of the day, leaving me only two to keep up with. I knew where the oldest dog was most of the day. She was usually under my feet, in a dog bed, or outside. I even brought her in from the outside more than once.
As hard as I tried to keep up with the old dog, I failed miserably. Most likely after everyone had left, I lost track of her. I was too busy trying to collect myself to pay attention. The dog wandered out into the back yard, and I did not realize it. It was not until after Mom got home that I realized she was missing. I looked for her, thinking she was wandering around the backyard like she does. She was in the backyard, unfortunately she had passed away. I know if I had not been so busy paying attention to myself, I would have realized sooner she had wandered outside, and been able to bring her in before that happened.
Mom is horribly upset, her dog had been with her for 17 years. The timing sucks – happening so soon after dad died. I believe all of this could have been avoided if I had been paying more attention.
I am not sure where to go from here.
Melissa; First, I’m really sorry your longtime family pet decided to wander off the doggie-heaven. I too have lost a few dear pets. It is very hard to let them go.
Second, your pet may have just wandered off like that to save you from the sadness of watching him pass. You know, people do that sometimes too. They just know it is too hard for those they leave behind and they want it to be as easy as possible. So maybe your dear friend was just thinking of you. I choose to believe they know and care, and do what they think is best. Try to look at it that way and be happy your friend cared so much about you. Take care Melissa.
Aww hun animals tend to go away from their family when they are preparing to die. They sense it coming and choose to have it happen elsewhere. Odds are if she had not gotten out there she would have gotten out somewhere.. that is just how animals are.. sending you much love andhugs to you and your momma..
I appreciate what both of you have said, however, it does not mitigate my responsibility.
Melissa, that is so sad, but I agree with the others about your Mom’s dog. It was a terrible just terrible accident. I am sure that little dog did not want to die in front of you. I hope your Mom understands. The little dog may have been morning the passing of your Dad
Melissa, I don’t believe you should feel responsible. Like the others said, most often when our dogs are preparing to die, they go away from us. I always thought it was because they wanted to die in peace, but I like what Melodie said. Maybe they just want to lessen our burden. She was a very old pup, and I’m sure she lived a long, happy, fulfilling life. It was just her time.
I suffer from depression and bi-polar (among many other things), as well. One of the things we tend to do is to think irrationally. We don’t always see it ourselves, so it takes a good friend to point things out for us, sometimes. You didn’t cause your mom’s pup to die. It’s just nature.
Please know that I don’t say any of this lightly. Having the same diagnosis helps me to understand what you’re going through. Having a 12 year old dog that just got diagnosed with kidney failure helps me, as well. The prognosis is not good. He is dying. I keep wanting to take the blame and responsibility for his impending death on myself. What I have to keep telling myself is that it is not my fault that he is going to leave us. Unfortunately, we all must go, at one time or another.
I’m so sorry that your family is going through this. It sucks. Pets are our family, especially when they have been with us so long. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.