Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. ~Abraham Lincoln

Really, Mr. Lincoln? Does that mean if I am not a happy camper right now, that it is my own fault? That I am responsible for losing my happy thoughts? You mean there is not a slow leak in my brain that is allowing my happiness to just slide right out onto the floor?

Well, now I guess that puts the matter of my own happiness, right in my own lap – or brain. I can choose to be content with what I have, with what is going on, and with what I have to deal with. Or not.

That seems easy enough. I will just choose to be happy. Starting now…..

Maybe it takes a few minutes to start working, cause I am not feeling it yet. If I cross my arms and stand on one leg….nope. Still not feeling it.

I think choosing to be happy is part of it, but I think making that choice – by itself – is not enough. Maybe I have to actually do something to reach a state of well-being and contentment. Something more than crossing my arms and standing on one leg. I think that if I am making the choice to be happy, then I must take some proactive steps toward reaching a state of happiness. That actually sounds like work. Possibly hard work.

What is so important about being happy that it would inspire me put some effort into obtaining it? There are so many people getting by without it. Getting by…not much effort involved. They do seem kind of sad, mad, weary, and leery. They do not have much to laugh about, or a bright spot in their day, but they are getting by. They do seem angry, and appear to have a hard time letting things go. Hostility and stress seems to ooze out of their pores. They are getting by though.

Are they really getting by? Or are they really just sitting there stewing in their stressed induced high blood pressure, and extra stomach acid. Possibly subtracting minutes, hours and days from their lives because of not being happy. Because of only just getting by. With nothing to brighten their day and lighten their load, I wonder if their days seem long and hard?

I want more in my life than just getting by. I do not want to stare at day after day with nothing to make me feel good. Just an endless stretch of…the same old thing. Not even a pleasant same old thing. Endless days spent recounting all the wrongs that have been done to me. Whining about how unfair MY life is. Stewing and brewing in my own juices of discontent.

Living a life of contentment seems so much more pleasant than just getting by. I guess putting some effort into being happy is worth it.

I could start with thinking about some positives in my life.  My family loves me. My little dog is fun to play with. My mind is healthier than it used to be. That took some effort, but it was not as hard as I thought it would be. In fact, it was pretty easy, and each positive thing I thought of made me smile.  I felt happy. I bet if I put a little more effort into it, I could find all sorts of ways to be happy.

There is something to what Mr. Lincoln said.  If I make the choice to be happy and then follow it up with the appropriate action, I am happy.  I have a feeling of contentment.

I was not feeling particularly happy when I began writing this. You can see the evidence of this in the argument I had with Abraham Lincoln. It is very difficult to write about happiness when you are feeling extremely unhappy.  I could blame my unhappiness on my mental illness.  Or I could blame it on the withdrawal from my old anti-depressant, or my reaction to the new one.  I could even blame my unhappiness on the fact that I am a 40 year old woman with fluctuating hormones. The fact of the matter is that is exactly what I was doing.  I was NOT taking responsibility for my own unhappiness and happiness.

Granted all of those things were contributing to my mood. However, I did not have to give them as much power over my happiness as I did.  I gave them that much power by spending most of my time concentrating on them, and not using one of the very first tools I gained when I began my depression treatment. Focusing on the positives in my life.

I do not know about you, but for me, achieving a state of happiness is hard work.  It was so much easier for me to be in a state unhappiness than it was to put any effort into being happy.  However, I was satisfied with nothing, not myself, not my family, not even with my life.  I had entered into a pattern of whining, crankiness, and wallowing in my own misery.  The more I did that, the more unhappy I became.

I was seeing new challenges in my life as difficulties rather than as opportunities to grow.  I was so busy wallowing that I was missing how many people I have in my life that were encouraging me, checking on me and challenging me to rise above unhappiness. It has been a good lesson to me about my ability to choose happiness and contentment over unhappiness and discontentment.  I may have faltered a bit, but in the end I chose Happiness.