Ever since I have been more open about having major depression, various people have felt the need to share their personal thoughts with me about depression,  people with depression, and causes of depression.  There is no doubt in my mind that some people meant well, and just chose their words poorly. However, with some people I have to wonder what they were thinking when they said what they did.  Maybe they thought they had the perfect advice that would “heal me” of my depression.  Here is a list I have made of a few of the things that people have said to me over the months.

1.   I guess if you really want to kill yourself you might as well, there is nothing anyone can do about it
Obviously, this is not what you should say to a depressed person with suicidal thoughts
 
2.   depression is not a real illness, it is just an excuse to be lazy
As if I enjoy feeling so bad that even taking a shower is too much work for me.
 
3.   the only thing that cures depression is going to church
I am not one to knock Christianity or the value that some people find in going to church, but this    statement seems to minimize depression

4.   all you need to do is just get out of the house more often
A family member thinks my cure is to not be at home, then I cannot concentrate on the things making me depressed.  Again, mininizes depression, and how bad it truly makes a person feel.

5.   you are taking medicine, you should not be depressed
 Some people think that immediately upon taking anti-depression medication that I should no longer have depression symptoms.

6.   you are talking too much medicine, no wonder you are depressed
Medicine that I need

7.   depression is a state of mind
I laugh in part to this one, because while they mean I need to get a positive attitude, they do not know that depression , to some extent, comes from the messed up chemicals in your brain.

8.   all you need to do is think positive and you will get over it
 Yes, I was positive I wanted to die, death would be one way of getting over it.

9.   You are too smart to want to kill yourself
 sadly, this one came from my husband.  I know he meant well when he said it, he just did not understand how depression works at the time he said it.  I felt he was implying that I was stupid because I had tried to commit suicide.

10. get on your knees and pray, prayer is the only cure for depression
Again, not to knock Christianity, prayer is helpful, for some it can ease their troubles, especially if it is situational depression, but for major depression, medication and counseling also have to be in the solution.This made me feel as if they thought I was not as good of a Christian as they are, because praying was not working for me.

11. There are people worse off than you, you have nothing to be depressed about
 Believe it or not the doctor I saw in the state run psychiatric hospital said this too me.  He should know better than anyone what the cause of major depression is.  I really wanted to let him have it for that statement, but I wanted to get out of the hospital even more. 

12. you are only a little sad, it will go away eventually
Again, someone who had no idea what depression is really like

13. Take the following vitamins and I guarantee that you will be cured of your depression in a month
I wish it was as easy as that to cure depression.

14. you need to drink more water
Apparently, my brain was dehydrated and that was the cause of all my problems.

15 you are just feeling sorry for yourself
Yes, there were/are times when I do feel sorry for myself, but that is not the cause of major depression

16 you are only depressed because you want to be
You are right!  I enjoy feeling bad in every inch of my body, and not being able to concentrate long enough to read a page in a book.  I enjoy not sleeping, and feeling like I am a burden to my family because I cannot even manage a load of laundry

17 depression really means that you are being selfish
Please see above

18 you are only thinking of yourself
 Please see above

19 just get over it
 I wish!  I tried snapping my fingers to “just get over it” but it did not work.

20 you just want people to feel sorry for you
Not really, I felt more like a burden when people pitied me

21 A hobby will fix you right up
I cannot even concentrate to read and yet you think I could concentrate enough to manage a hobby? 

22 use your will power, and you can get over it
What will power?  Mine seems to have disappeared.

23 I was depressed once, I went to the herb store and got all these great herbs and I got over it
Ha!  Depressed once!?

24 So?  
 Obviously, they do not care

25 There is no such thing as depression, it is an illness made up by doctors an drug companies to get more money.
This person sounds as if they need their own type of psychiatric medication.