To look at me, most people would not even know that I had a mental illness. Most of the time (in fact rarely now that I am on medication) I do not act out inappropriately. I have no strange ticks, or behaviors. I do not have any OCD tendencies. In fact, even when my anxiety disorder is acting up, people who did not know me very well would not even realize that I was close to a panic attack. People would deem me “normal”.
For the most part, I can make my way through the world with few obstacles or encountering judgmental people, because of how “normal” I appear and act. The few judgmental people that I have had to deal with were easily cut from my life. I am sure that in some ways, this makes my life easier than if I had symptoms of my disease that were more noticeable by others.
For those people with mental illnesses that are more “noticeable” than mine, life can be much more challenging. The other day I came across a blog whose author is the mother of a 17 year old young man who was recently diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder. In her post, Angel Shrout, wrote an open letter to her family (and others) describing how their judgmental attitudes and behaviors have a very real and negative impact on her son.
Looking at him, he has nothing odd about him physically that would give anyone a clue that there was anything different about him. However, there are things about his behavior that makes it obvious that there is.. From the author’s description, it appears he has been dealing with a mental illness for most of his life. As a result for most of his life he has been ostracized by family and others.
At an age where our children are already having self esteem issues, this young man has the added burden of not acting “normal” due to his mental illness. He is fully aware that he is “different”, and understands that is why he is treated the way he is, yet it appears he has not let the judgments of others make him a bitter and angry young man. He still has a great sense of humor, loves animals, and has several gifts that his mother believes shows God’s Glory shining in him.
What is the difference between that young man, who is ostracized by family and strangers, and me, who for the most part is treated just like everyone else?
I personally believe that it is easy for people to “forget” or ignore the fact that I have a mental illness. However, because of how that young man is affected by his mental illness and how it makes him behave, the fact that he has a mental illness is much more in the face of the people around him. What does how obvious our mental illnesses are have to do with anything?
Fear. I believe fear is the single most contributing factor as to why judgments are made about the mentally ill. Mental illness is scary. It is scary for the person who has it, and it is scary for outsiders as well. For the outsider though, it is a fear mingled with the unknown, misunderstanding and preconceived ideas.
For most people their only exposure to someone with a mental illness is through what they have seen on the news, a television show, or in the movies. Let’s face it, most of what we see portrayed there is pretty scary stuff. Added to that fear is our natural fear of the unknown and it is easy to see why a person would jump to a judgment about someone who is obviously mentally ill.
I do not think it makes their jumping to judgments right, but I can understand it. Fear is a very powerful emotion that propels us to do many things. In the case of someone who is reacting out of fear because of their misunderstanding about people with mental illnesses, they probably truly believe that they are protecting themselves or their family by treating them differently. I would imagine though that if you or a family member were on the receiving end of such fear based judgments, it would be painful and frustrating.
I do not believe there is an easy answer to stopping fear based judgments about people with mental illnesses. I do think the more we positively expose the “mentally healthy” to people with mental illnesses and the more we educate them, then we will find people making fewer and fewer judgments about those with mental illnesses.
What do you think? Do you think most of the time people make judgments about the mentally ill out of fear (misunderstanding, misinformation), or do you think people really dislike the mentally ill enough that they really believe their own negative judgments. ?
Have you ever spent some time around a person who was obviously mentally ill? How did you react to them? Were you afraid of them?
Enjoy the food for thought Neighbors!
This is a great post! It brings a lot of underlying emotions to the surface. My answer on the simple side would be yes I do make fear based judgments when it comes to people with mental illnesses.
To expand on that I have to say my fear is based on not knowing what to do or how to treat the person. I don't want to say or do something that could be deemed hurtful or demeaning. I have little to no experience around those with any time of visible illness and I would like to believe that I wouldn't treat them any different if I found out someone close to me did have a mental illness. But fear does block me in approaching someone does have obvious signs of a mental illness.
Your blog post does make me want to look inward and try to remove that fear. Great post!
My Thoughts
Amazing post, Melissa. I loved it! I have had people quite nervous around me in the past because I was SO freakin unpredictable… and I have to say, that the one mental illness I have never, ever felt comfortable around is Schizophrenia. People with that disorder seem to be attracted to me, if not physically then socially… and some of the stuff their minds come up with when they're off meds is just disturbing.
Amazing post, Melissa. I loved it! I have had people quite nervous around me in the past because I was SO freakin unpredictable… and I have to say, that the one mental illness I have never, ever felt comfortable around is Schizophrenia. People with that disorder seem to be attracted to me, if not physically then socially… and some of the stuff their minds come up with when they're off meds is just disturbing.
This is a great post! It brings a lot of underlying emotions to the surface. My answer on the simple side would be yes I do make fear based judgments when it comes to people with mental illnesses. To expand on that I have to say my fear is based on not knowing what to do or how to treat the person. I don't want to say or do something that could be deemed hurtful or demeaning. I have little to no experience around those with any time of visible illness and I would like to believe that I wouldn't treat them any different if I found out someone close to me did have a mental illness. But fear does block me in approaching someone does have obvious signs of a mental illness. Your blog post does make me want to look inward and try to remove that fear. Great post!My Thoughts
This was great post and everything was stated nicely. I too suffer from mental illness and I have learned not to tell anyone because of the world judges those of us that have one. I wish people could see that just because we are sick doesn't mean we need to be ignored and locked up. In fact the way they treat us makes our problems even worse or it does me at least. I think there needs to be more open talk about mental illness and break some of the old sterotypes that are out there about us.
This was great post and everything was stated nicely. I too suffer from mental illness and I have learned not to tell anyone because of the world judges those of us that have one. I wish people could see that just because we are sick doesn't mean we need to be ignored and locked up. In fact the way they treat us makes our problems even worse or it does me at least. I think there needs to be more open talk about mental illness and break some of the old sterotypes that are out there about us.
Jerry,
Thanks for your great comment. I am really glad that you liked that post. It is very easy for us to let fear have a huge influence over our reactions, throw in a mental illness and sometimes I too wonder what the best way to deal with other people is. I am like you, I would be so very afraid of doing or saying something that could accidently cause them harm.
Enguardia,
Thanks. I feel just as nervous around schizophrenics. When I was in the state psychiatric hospital, they put the schizophrenics in with the regular patients. For the most part, things worked ok, but there were a couple of schizophrenics who were violent. One of them attacked me a couple of times. So that fear has kind of stayed with me about people with certain types of mental illness.
Margaret,
I agree. I think the general public needs to be more educated about people with mental illnesses. I agree that the our problems can be made worse because of how people react when they find out that we have a mental illness. I get more stressed and anxious when I can sense someone has an issue with me because of the mental illness.
For me though, I find it easier just to be upfront about having a mental illness. That allows me to find out really quickly, who is going to accept me with it, and who is going to be very judgmental about things.
First let me ty for reading my blog.. and seeding it. As a christian I have experienced the cold shoulder from even members of the church. My son has had issues since he was 7 and I have fought for 10 years to get him correctly diagnosed. They literally kept trying to box him in ADHD which was the 'popular' answer at the time. Bipolar type 2 is his official diagnosis with mood disorder, OCD, and generalized anxiety disorder. Big list for such a young kid. His swings were mainly anger and rage, black rages they called them. IF they gave him ADHD meds he got more violent. I was so blessed to finally find a doctor and therapist who ran tests and listened to his description and mine and realized ADHD was not even on the spectrum for him. I have been so blessed that the first medication for bipolar they tried has worked wonderfully. Seeing the potential in him blossom has been so wonderful…and having my son back is even better.
You are welcome. I have to confess that it took me two days to pull it together. There is just so much that can be discussed when it comes to this topic.
When I read your post, I did wonder if in the past "professionals" had tried to diagnose him with ADHD.
I am very sorry that people have treated you and your son so badly. That is very sad. I hope nothing in what I wrote in my post offended you.
I cannot even imagine the things you and your son have gone through over the years. Your son is very blessed to have a mother that will fight so strongly for him. I am also very happy to hear that you found a doctor that will listen to you and that your son is improving.
Thank you for sharing what you did on your blog. It has certainly gotten me to think about things for the last couple of days.
Jerry,Thanks for your great comment. I am really glad that you liked that post. It is very easy for us to let fear have a huge influence over our reactions, throw in a mental illness and sometimes I too wonder what the best way to deal with other people is. I am like you, I would be so very afraid of doing or saying something that could accidently cause them harm.
Enguardia,Thanks. I feel just as nervous around schizophrenics. When I was in the state psychiatric hospital, they put the schizophrenics in with the regular patients. For the most part, things worked ok, but there were a couple of schizophrenics who were violent. One of them attacked me a couple of times. So that fear has kind of stayed with me about people with certain types of mental illness.
Margaret,I agree. I think the general public needs to be more educated about people with mental illnesses. I agree that the our problems can be made worse because of how people react when they find out that we have a mental illness. I get more stressed and anxious when I can sense someone has an issue with me because of the mental illness. For me though, I find it easier just to be upfront about having a mental illness. That allows me to find out really quickly, who is going to accept me with it, and who is going to be very judgmental about things.
First let me ty for reading my blog.. and seeding it. As a christian I have experienced the cold shoulder from even members of the church. My son has had issues since he was 7 and I have fought for 10 years to get him correctly diagnosed. They literally kept trying to box him in ADHD which was the 'popular' answer at the time. Bipolar type 2 is his official diagnosis with mood disorder, OCD, and generalized anxiety disorder. Big list for such a young kid. His swings were mainly anger and rage, black rages they called them. IF they gave him ADHD meds he got more violent. I was so blessed to finally find a doctor and therapist who ran tests and listened to his description and mine and realized ADHD was not even on the spectrum for him. I have been so blessed that the first medication for bipolar they tried has worked wonderfully. Seeing the potential in him blossom has been so wonderful…and having my son back is even better.
You are welcome. I have to confess that it took me two days to pull it together. There is just so much that can be discussed when it comes to this topic. When I read your post, I did wonder if in the past "professionals" had tried to diagnose him with ADHD. I am very sorry that people have treated you and your son so badly. That is very sad. I hope nothing in what I wrote in my post offended you. I cannot even imagine the things you and your son have gone through over the years. Your son is very blessed to have a mother that will fight so strongly for him. I am also very happy to hear that you found a doctor that will listen to you and that your son is improving. Thank you for sharing what you did on your blog. It has certainly gotten me to think about things for the last couple of days.
I do have to say that when I was younger I was less tolerant, but as I've grown older and more mature nothing really phases me anymore…. People are people…. Everyone should be treated equally (with some exceptions, but you know what I mean)….
I think fear and ignorance brings about this irrational judgment of people…. It's about as rational to reject a person based on a mental illness as it is to reject a person based on the color of their skin.
And to be honest, who am I to judge someone else? As long as there's no physical threat to me or my family, what harm can be done?
I think your blog does a great service to others by helping educate them about depression. I applaud you.
I do have to say that when I was younger I was less tolerant, but as I've grown older and more mature nothing really phases me anymore…. People are people…. Everyone should be treated equally (with some exceptions, but you know what I mean)….I think fear and ignorance brings about this irrational judgment of people…. It's about as rational to reject a person based on a mental illness as it is to reject a person based on the color of their skin.And to be honest, who am I to judge someone else? As long as there's no physical threat to me or my family, what harm can be done?I think your blog does a great service to others by helping educate them about depression. I applaud you.