For several weeks, I have been trying to figure out what I should write for a Father’s Day post. Part of me wanted to express the deep sadness I feel, and another part was trying to figure out a way to keep it more uplifting. On any given day, one option would seem better than the other.  It is the night before Father’s day, and I am no closer to a decision.

What I am feeling is an ache in my heart. I had been looking forward to spending this Father’s Day with dad, but he left this world before the day got here. Sometimes the knowledge that he is not here with me physically anymore is an ache that is almost too much to bear.  However, there are days when the good memories chase away that ache.

I have shed a lot of tears this week. In fact, I had a melt- down in Wal-mart just the other day. I was not prepared for the huge Father’s Day display that greeted me when I walked in the door. What started off as a few tears, quickly turned into me bawling my eyes out. I must have looked pretty darn pitiful because a random Wal-mart lady gave me a hug.

Something my mom said to me helped me realize that my tears are not me wallowing in self pity. I cry because I miss my dad. I wish he were still here.