While I was busy tweeting about World Suicide Prevention Day, I saw quite a few tweets about September 11th. A lot of the tweets seemed to center around public memorial services, some television shows that were going to honor the September 11th victims, and quite a few people planned to blog about where they were and what they were doing on that awful day.

Not me. I will avoid all the September 11th television programs. I will not attend any memorial services. I am definitely not going to blog about that day. What I will do, is take some time in my home and pray for the families of those who died on that day and think about those who lost their lives.

I am not taking this position to offend anyone.  I am being so adamant about not participating in any September 11th memorial events, because, even though it has been nine years since all those people died, my emotions about what I witnessed that day are still very close to the surface. After that day I cried for weeks thinking about all the sons, daughters, parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles lost on that day.  I cried about the terror many of them felt as they tried to escape.  I cried when I watched the news and saw all those family members carrying pictures of their loved ones, in hopes of finding them.

It has only been a year since my hospitalization for depression.  I am still at a stage that in some cases I must choose my mental health over doing something for other people.  This is one of those times.  The sadness about what happened on that day still overwhelms me.  It may always overwhelm me.